My neighbours are the trashiest of white trash. Every day is like a screaming match from a Jerry Springer episode. At night, they watch 3 movies- "Army Guys Yelling", "Shit Blowing Up" and "Subwoofer, the movie."

They're just oblivious to the world around them and they're too stupid to try and reason with, and if approached they'll probably just damage my car or something. My landlord apparently doesn't have much interest in shutting them up.

Any thoughts? Everyone else in the building hates them as well. And I don't want to move yet. This place is a decent price.

I really hope they just die in a fire, just not while they are here.

I can sympathize. I live next to a house of illegal immigrants. They get drunk and piss on my house. Smoke meth in their bathroom (and I get to smell it too). Drive over my sidewalk leaving tire tracks.
I poured used motor oil all over their stairs 2 weeks ago. Things have slowed down since.

Hah! Brilliant.

I was thinking a touch of krazy glue in their door lock the next time they go out. Just to screw with them.

Posted by bandi Hah! Brilliant. I was thinking a touch of krazy glue in their door lock the next time they go out. Just to screw with them.

i've got something BETTER than krazy glue... let me know if you'd like me to send you a bottle. or two.

Oh really?

I've just decided that the bitch sounds like the mom from Malcolm in the Middle with a lot more f-bombs thrown in.

I think I'll post this to their door as well:

http://www.wikihow...hut-a-Door-Quietly

Just give it back as bad as you get.

Lynyrd Skynyrd at 3am always worked for me. Or whenever they finally fucking sleep. I had to play with the times with my last batch of neighbors.

My favorite was blasting that and very loud sound effects, the most annoying ringtones I could find.

My worst was a recording of my cat yowling at full volume. That finally got them to come over and pound on my door.

There's something called Loctite...works wonders. I have a few bottles kicking around myself. Fill a keyhole with that shit and they'll never get it out.

IP Ticonderoga wouldn't run without that, brown heavy paper tape and pledge...no lie.

I've been dealing with shitty neighbors for years. I have lots of tricks. Lots and lots of them. Everything from mousetraps in bad places on a porch when I know they walk out there barefoot to putrefying kitty litter on a hot porch. Then there's the vaseline I left on the doorknob and the incense I used to burn.

A little backstory...

About 15 years ago or so, we (my family) bought half of a duplex in an economically depressed area, or an area that Sam likes to call "Little Harlem".

It was mostly old people and slumlords renting to mostly welfare recipients, who are the single worst tenants on the face of the earth.

The other half of the house has been purchased by various slumlords who do not check on their tenants and only own the place to collect rent checks from DSS.

We have single handedly made no less than 12 separate tenants move in the past 14 years because of noise and general assholeishness and this was only by forcing them to put up with a large taste of their own shit from us.

I know how to deal with shitty neighbors...believe me.

Oh, one more thing...keep the cops on speed dial. I had to for the last batch. They were making threats towards myself and my family at one point. Now the son of a bitch can't come back into the county because of noise complaints and general criminal behavior. He set up a rock band with amplifiers and everything else in the living room and tore out one of the supporting walls of the place in order to fit the shit in the house and played till 3am when I had to work. Cops came no less than twice and he was dragged in front of the local judge who told him it would be a good idea to leave town and not come back.

Worst part of the concert, he knew like two songs and neither were very good.

Just scream gibberish periodically and argue with yourself. Whenever you`re in the hallway, mutter to yourself when you see them and then smile brightly and skip away. If you go to speak with them, say stuff like, 'Oh wow! I just saw an accident today. Some guy had a bone sticking out of his leg! It was really cool!' and then walk away humming a few tunes to yourself.

After a while, they`ll want to clear out really quickly.

Posted by rainman8889 Just scream gibberish periodically and argue with yourself. Whenever you`re in the hallway, mutter to yourself when you see them and then smile brightly and skip away. If you go to speak with them, say stuff like, 'Oh wow! I just saw an accident today. Some guy had a bone sticking out of his leg! It was really cool!' and then walk away humming a few tunes to yourself. After a while, they`ll want to clear out really quickly.

This. Haha.

I was competing in the Canadian Onroad Nationals this past march - and my hotel was in the same parking lot as the venue - So i went to take a nap mid day when i had an hour between heats - i was walking down the hall thinking about my car set up, and throttle settings and what not. I was mumbling what must have sounded like gibberish - staring at the floor walking incoherently, I see that the utility room door is ajar so i take a look inside - here a door slam closed rush into the hallway and continue mumbling gibberish, see the person approaching me - i instantly become silent smile and nod my head. then go back to vocal thinking.

Guy looked SCARED TO DEATH.

Lets see. Jb weld in the locks of house and cars.

If you REALLY have to play dirty jasco spray will pull the the paint off anything.

If you scrape the polymer out of a baby diaper and shove it down their watermain all hell will break loose.

These are for the real assholes tho not just "annoying" neighbors.

Posted by bonnie&clyde Lets see. Jb weld in the locks of house and cars. If you REALLY have to play dirty jasco spray will pull the the paint off anything. If you scrape the polymer out of a baby diaper and shove it down their watermain all hell will break loose. These are for the real assholes tho not just "annoying" neighbors.

Usually for the annoying type, I'd just use noise...for the assholes...well, that's when the dirty tricks come out.

Another neighbour called the cops on them last night, so at least I'm not the only one ready to murder the assholes.

Rent an ozone machine. Hide it in their apartment when they are out. Let it do it's thing. Call in the smell a week later.

Posted by bandi Another neighbour called the cops on them last night, so at least I'm not the only one ready to murder the assholes.

Ever seen "needful things"? Now's your chance!

Posted by bonnie&clyde Ever seen "needful things"? Now's your chance!

Heh... I like it

You could move to the other apartment building in Belleville.

Posted by bandi I really hope they just die in a fire, just not while they are here.

Wow.

Posted by bonnie&clyde I can sympathize. I live next to a house of illegal immigrants. They get drunk and piss on my house.

I'm truly very sorry, but this is hysterical.

I poured used motor oil all over their stairs 2 weeks ago. Things have slowed down since.

Try taking a shit on their doorstep. Right on the 'WELCOME' mat.