I don't dislike dogs, but I'm done trying to be a dog person.

"Oh, you just haven't met the right dog!"

I have. Several. I met the first two Air Bud dogs in person, and my parents have a wonderful one, his name is Chevy, he's a black lab and he's fucking awesome. I'm still done trying to be a dog person.


Age three I was bitten in the face by our family's yellow lab, age seven a rottweiler bit my ass while I was delivering newspapers, a golden retriever bit my wrist while getting into a customer's car when I was an apprentice "Oh, he doesn't like men!" well why the fuck did you bring him to a mechanic shop you absolute twat?! My aunt's terrier bit my calf when I was jumping into a lake, etc, etc, etc.

Last week, I'm getting out of my car (at home), walking to the house and something just grabs my ankle- it's a pyrenees mountain dog, and it's not happy with me. Typically I'm in workboots and have some kind of tool within reach, but this time I was in running shoes and holding a key fob for a Volvo. I yelled, I pulled my leg free, it took a break for a sec and I kicked it in the teeth to get it away from me. Keep in mind, this leg is already in some pain because I broke my knee in October. Oh it's been a year.

I recognized it as my odd hillbilly neighbor's dog, went over to let them know that their dog attacked me out of the blue. "Oh, don't worry, she has all her shots! She's a guard dog."

Well, why is your guard dog in my fucking driveway, and why do you need a guard dog when you lived in an abandoned cheese factory?

Not "are you okay/was your kid with you/wow, you're bleeding a lot".

So after I was talked out of sacrificing the thing with my bare hands on their front lawn, I called animal control and they quarantined the thing for ten days. The vicious fucker is back, and I see this on our local community facebook page:



That's the inbred granddaughter who lives in the hillbilly house- so no, the dog didn't have its fucking shots. Thanks for letting me know, you retards.

So yeah, I know "there are no bad dogs, just bad people" but fuck it, there are definitely some shitty dogs (albeit, a result of shitty people) out there and I want them to not be near me.



Bonus pic of my sweet ankle.

i hate to say this, but if that had happened in New York, the dog would've been put down by animal control and the owners liable for your medical bills.

i like dogs and all, but some dogs are just assholes. My friend Tim had a rotty a few years back that was just an asshole. An 85lb canine fuckhead. I went outside to pee at a party he was having and the dog was being a douche and bit me. Being fueled by cheap beer, i had had enough of Austin's canine shitheadedness and bit the dog in the neck... hard. I mean executed all the bite I had in my jaw and then stepped back. Auston yelped (I think more out of surprise than pain), looked at me and there was look on its big stupid face of utter fear...

up to the day that dog died, it never growled at me again. Sometimes you just gotta bite a motherfucker.

Hahahahahahaha. You win.

This dog knows I'm not a fan now, whenever I walk by now it is definitely trying to angrily get out and take my whole leg. It used to bark before, but since it bit me it's been about 1000% more aggressive.

maybe its time to call in the authorities on this one... video the dogs' reaction next time you encounter it. i mean, you have other domestic considerations to worry about now.

anyways... hope your leg feels better.

I did call animal control when it happened but apparently that hasn't had a ton of effect.

I should hunt it. Dog meat can't be that bad, can it?

never really thought about eating Fido, honestly.

Well they had two weeks to get shots for the dog, and they didn't so animal control is coming back and Bella is taking a dirt nap.

it's too bad you can't put the owners down. there are no such things as bad dogs, just idiots that made their dogs an asshole.

Sorry for Bella... but hey, you can't have your pooch going around biting people.

Oh that's entirely true, the dog has been neglected its whole life and it hates people as a result of that. Hell, they had 2 weeks to get a rabies shot and they still let the poor thing down.

Dog is still alive, still doesn't have shots, neighbors are now selling drugs.

Posted by bandi Dog is still alive, still doesn't have shots, neighbors are now selling drugs.

your neighbors suck.
this is just going to get worse before it gets better.

Dog still doesn't have shots, bit someone else last week.

I'm just gonna crank "let the bodies hit the floor" and head over to that house with a machete.

Posted by bandi Dog still doesn't have shots, bit someone else last week. I'm just gonna crank "let the bodies hit the floor" and head over to that house with a machete.

as tasty as that sounds, i wouldn't...