It's been two years now, but I can't spend an evening alone without thinking of my ex; every night I have fucked up dreams, last night my ex fiance of 10 years ago appeared and we were both in my frat house for some reason. I had sex with her, then she told me to call her and I couldn't find the damn number as she left for home, where we would start it all over.. And then my guilt built even greater, I never found her again either.
I miss one girl and it aint my 10 year ex.

So this one Lionel Richie song seemed appropriate;

"I tried and found out this one thing is true, I'd rather have bad times with you with good times with someone new, I'd rather have the one who holds my heart"

Allright I'm a chump but I was listening to this song tonight and realized where all the fucked up dreams came from; I miss her, and this song describes it perfectly, I even woke up this morning after dreaming about my ten year ex and yelled out "********" ! " but she wasn't there and neither was Taryn.

Waking up alone" expecting to find someone you care for next to you is really hitting rock bottom.

I'd rather have the one who holds my heart.

"Here and now I promise you love faithfully , you're all I need"

I only posted this because I suddenly gained emotions, and the nightmares, too much for me to handle, just trying to get a handle on what is going on.

I never thought I'd have water on my face but today I do.

Hey Dukes, That's pretty damned rough man. I've been through that s**t storm too. The last girlfriend I had before I met my wife really f****d me over mentally (abusive and she just loved those mind games that made me feel like a total waste of skin!). I was scared s**tless when it came time to ask my wife out for a date!

Hang in there. Get together with some friends, go out and blow off some steam. You just may meet someone who picks up your heart, dusts it off and gets it going again. Best of luck.

If I could sum with a song how I was feeling prior to meeting my wife, I would pick "Suddenly" by Billy Ocean. (Especially the opening lyrics)

I used to think that love was just a fairy tale
Until that first hello until that first smile
But if I had to do it all again I wouldn't change a thing
Cause this love is everlasting

Chorus
Suddenly life has new meaning to me
There's beauty up above and things we never take notice of
You wake up suddenly you're in love


Each day I pray this love affair would last forever

Thanks Rain, but aside from this post I think of Disturbed "droppin plates" as my daily song.
Lionel Richie, however did seem to fit the moment.
You're a good man my friend.

It sounds like Rainman has you back on the right track. All I can add is keep your chin up and hopefully with each passing day it gets a little easier. I've been done the road you're goin' too.