ok.... so last night my wife gets home, and shortly after starts to cry, she seems very upset...

so upon investigation it seems a guy at her work, 40+ divorced, has been making life uncomfortable for her...let me explain

this has been goin on for a few months, its the subtle sleazebag approach where he never actually says anything that would get him in trouble, but he is constantly doing the " lingering hand touch " say when opening a door, or standing over her when she's sitting , or just coming in and finding excuses to be near her..rubbing her arm in sympathy during a bad day - all un invited and definately un wanted...

my wife is quite shy around ppl she doesnt really know, and doesnt have an aggressive bone in her body....and hates conflict...
so she told her boss who offered to shut him down, but this involves the whole harrassment at work thing, followed by a formal lodging of complaint..

this guy is quite senior, and in reality its likely the flow on effect would be others would think she was making it up or over sensitive to what was nothing....

she knows my solution, it involves the removal of his mobility and several key organs......

but she's asked me not to get involved.....very difficult
im doing my best not to let my anger step in

what would you do ?

At the level it is at now, I would say (as hard as it is to do) do nothing and respect your wifes wishes. But tell her to tell you if i happens again. If it happens again find out what the guy drives and blow the shit up.

Do what your wife tells you... it would belittle her to go over her head, and it might lose her her job.

the northern New York solution:

follow this fucker home some night, come up behind him in his own driveway and put a world of hurt on him. I mean just fuck his shit up and then at the end say, "That's for fucking around with Paula/Christine/Shelly (any name your wife doesn't have)

works every time up here, baby.

Samurai

You shouldn't do anything.

And as much as she doesn't want to, she needs to tell him, simply, that he makes her uncomfortable. She can do it in an email or in person, or even a written note, if that seems better for some reason.

Harassment is about the only situation where people can justify not rectifying the problem themselves. Any other life or workplace issue is generally your problem to at least try to deal with on your own, before you ask for help.

But harassment works differently, because it's generally occurring as a result of some power differential, like an abusive or exploitative relationship. The "proper" way for business to handle it is to take it very seriously, and err on the side of protecting the accuser, but obviously that might turn out shitty for everyone.

But, if at all possible, she should at least try to resolve it on her own. She has told her boss about it, so that's good. She should also tell her boss that she is going to tell the guy that he makes her uncomfortable.

All she really needs to say to the guy is just that. He makes her uncomfortable, and she would like him to respect her personal space, and she doesn't want to speak about it any more than that. It shouldn't sound like a threat, but of course, it ultimately is.

Sorry dude. It totally sucks. But you need to stay the fuck out of it, apart from giving her support and encouragement.

I'd just stay out of it and just be there emotionally for your wife. Talking with her and listening to the situation, inputting some of your opinions may ultimately make a decision on her part to move forward with some action.

Rape his asshole with your man-hammer.

Kick his fucking ass, she is your wife.

Posted by Nvr2loud Kick his fucking ass, she is your wife.

Seconded.

"Honey, however you want to handle this, just know that I'm behind you every step of the way, and I'll support your decision whatever it may be."

so far no further instances, and she is well prepared to lay it down the line for him, as she is npw aware large monkeys with evil tendencies are awaiting dispatch

till then i remain silent in a buddhist like state of peace and tranquility

Posted by Glass Do what your wife tells you... it would belittle her to go over her head, and it might lose her her job.

Well put.

I would encourage my wife to go through the complaints procedure and be very supportive of her. I would also make damned sure all documentation of the incidents is kept in a very safe place.


Above all, keep the higher ground. While it would feel very good to pound the asshole's skull in with a baseball bat, that will destroy your wife's confidence and credibility and make her look like the bad person.

That's just my two cents worth.

first hand experience shows that you should quietly whip his ass in such a way that it looks like a random crime. oh, the n new york way works in northern wv where i come from too. just make sure you don't get caught.
eoghan

Husband to wife: "So...how do you feel about this situation?"

Wife to husband: "Not good. Violated. Angry. Humiliated. Mortified. Insulted. Confused."

H-w: "And what's your reaction to all these feelings?"

W-h: "I want to burn this motherfucker to death in front of his wife and children."

H-w: "But you can't do that...so. How might you want to resolve this without resorting to violence and spectacle?"

W-h: "Speak to him directly, but discretely, and tell him in no uncertain terms that if his behaviour continues, I will file a formal complaint with human resources (or whatever corporate bureaucracy handles this sort of thing), and I will endeavour to embarrass him professionally by sabotaging his career in any manner I see fit."

H-w: "That's good. You're actually hitting him on several fronts. A multi-pronged defense. Good."

W-h: "Well...they did hire me because of my strategic thinking..."

H-w: "...and that's why I married you, love."

Let me know how it goes.

She's fucking him.

Posted by KublaKhan Husband to wife: "So...how do you feel about this situation?" Wife to husband: "Not good. Violated. Angry. Humiliated. Mortified. Insulted. Confused." H-w: "And what's your reaction to all these feelings?" W-h: "I want to burn this motherfucker to death in front of his wife and children." H-w: "But you can't do that...so. How might you want to resolve this without resorting to violence and spectacle?" W-h: "Speak to him directly, but discretely, and tell him in no uncertain terms that if his behaviour continues, I will file a formal complaint with human resources (or whatever corporate bureaucracy handles this sort of thing), and I will endeavour to embarrass him professionally by sabotaging his career in any manner I see fit." H-w: "That's good. You're actually hitting him on several fronts. A multi-pronged defense. Good." W-h: "Well...they did hire me because of my strategic thinking..." H-w: "...and that's why I married you, love." Let me know how it goes.

Best one yet!