Posted by TRAINS My stomach has been screwed up for a few months now as well... I'm thinking it could be gall bladder related. My issue consists of incredible pains from the stomach. It feels as though the walls of my stomach are on fire. Sometimes this pain reaches my lower back and makes my muscles sore. At times the pain has been so intense I have not been able to walk and have nearly passed out. I've had these episodes last anywhere from 15 minutes to five hours or more. The first time I remember it occurring was after a horrible midnight snack of corn chips and pepperonis. The pain was alleviated by making myself throw up snack. I figured it was due to the high grease content of what I had eaten, and stayed away from such foods. The pain seemed to return after especially fatty meals. Shying away from things such as fries and potato chips for a month got rid of the pains. However, recently, I no longer have 'grumbling stomach' when I am hungry. Now I get these same excruciating pains until I eat something. WTF? And I've also had the stomach pains when non-greasy meals were eaten. So I don't know what is causing them... I ponder if they are stress induced. My body has some messed up ways of dealing with stress... at first it was migraines, than potentially the stomach pains, and recently EYE TWITCHING. GAHH!

Man...that's gall bladder trouble. Get to a doctor as soon as possible. I put up with it for almost two years. The single best thing you can do is have that little bastard removed, for your sanity's sake and for your own health.
The throwing up thing and a laxative trick both work, but they only work for so long and eventually you end up with pain that will not go away, to find yourself in the hospital for two to three weeks on nothing but IV fluids till the wonderful case of pancreatitis that's nearly put you in a coma decides to go away.
Believe me, been there, done that. Get to a doctor and get an ultrasound of your gallbladder done asap to check for stones or other abnormalities.
If it's stones, DO NOT let them use sonics to crush them. If you do that, give yourself a year or two and they'll be back, worse than they were the first time, a lot more painful and a lot more of them and you'll have to have it removed then anyway, so why try to avoid the inevitable? Demand you see a surgeon for a consult to have it removed. Fuck your insurance company. If you have stones, you need that little bastard removed. It's an overnight procedure, very simple, two hours asleep and you'll wake up feeling a whole lot better and instead of two weeks, you get one night in the hospital. In fact, some places only require you stay for the day, and you get to go home within five or six hours after the surgery. It's not painful, not in the slightest and you get good drugs, before and after surgery.
Also, don't go thinking it's an old people's disease. It most certainly is not.
I came down with it for the first time when I was 17, I put myself in the hospital with the throwing up and laxative trick at 19 with a good case of pancreatitis that could have and probably should have killed me, I had it removed 3 weeks later. The doctor had a small mason jar full of gallstones for me when I went back to get my stitches out a week and a half later.

Shael

Well, on the flip side, I've been mildly (but very painfully) constipated for a couple days, and this morning I gave in and downed half a bottle of milk of magnesia.

Which caused me to promptly shit my pants fifteen minutes ago. Yee haw.

Dude, my butthole's on fire here (and not the good way like when Samurai gets through with you). I'm shittin' acid water!

Who'd a thunk you're supposed to pay attention to the dose amounts on a laxative.

Posted by White Rabbit Well, on the flip side, I've been mildly (but very painfully) constipated for a couple days, and this morning I gave in and downed half a bottle of milk of magnesia. Which caused me to promptly shit my pants fifteen minutes ago. Yee haw.

I just shit my pants laughing at that

But seriously, that blows... what a crappy way to spend the day...

(I'll stop with the shitty puns now)

Yeah, dude, I'm still shitting. My asshole is so raw, there's blood on the toilet paper when I wipe now. It sucks.

Fuck, milk of magnesia is supposed to be weak, you know? I figured I'd just do like I do with Pepto and swig it from the bottle. Turns out you don't really want to do that.

My asshole is raw all the time. Fuck I hate living in a university residence! The amount we pay for fucking tuition and a place to stay and we get shitty half ply TP made out of discarded glass bottles. OUCH.

But look on the bright side... You'll be clean as a whistle on the inside after the M of M's effect wears off...

I love cleaning the tubes out with a good rage every once in awhile. Sure it feels like all fucking hell during, but after you feel like a million bucks.

Posted by DiVaMoNKeY you would think that would work, but no. men.

Try Taco Bell or KFC then. Maybe that will work.

(And you do have my sympathy on that)

Fuck's sake! 14 hours later and I'm STILL shitting!

I just had to get the cherry fuckin' flavored milk of magnesia. If I'd just gotten the plain flavor, I guarantee I wouldn't have drunk so much (that cherry shit is YUMMY).

i had frozen buffalo wings last night when I got home from work... guaranteed I will be shitting napalm later this afternoon when it finally emerges from my digester!
the cruel joke... spicy foods taste great, but kill you on the way out!

Posted by Samurai the cruel joke... spicy foods taste great, but kill you on the way out!

...and even worse, the pooping of spicy foods PLUS acid reflux. Gettin' it both ends. Ouch!

When I get my bouts of constipation, I opt for All Bran lol. Works well within 30mins - an hour after eating it, which is faster than how my body reacts to laxatives. For a surgery once, I took laxatives and it took 12 hours for them to work.

So is it also gall bladder trouble that I have the same stomach pains when I have an EMPTY stomach?

As described above it's like I no longer have empty stomach hunger grumbles, I have this damn aggravating pain until I eat something!

Yesterday I noticed a strange contraction or pulsation on my lower left side.
And then I noticed when I pulled in my abdominal muscles, it turned into pain.
Closer to the evening, I noticed it'd become more centred instead of on the left.


What the fuck is going on?

You're becoming a ginger daywalker.

Lol,
I love this topic!
There's this amazing pepperoni that they sell near my house that is so freaking good... but after I eat it, I wake up the next morning with a severe stomach cramp followed by about 15 minutes on the can, pooping out the firey-est shit one can imagine. It's quite a burden to bear for the greatest pepperoni on earth.

One other thing is that my digestive system is so messed up... I am in flight training and before major flights, I always try and take a shit before I go up because you never know when you will have to over the 3 hours spent in the air. Usually, I end up taking a shit, and feel fine and ready to fly (not to mention 1 pound lighter on my weight and balance sheet!). When I get in the air and fly around for a bit it just so happens that another shit comes out of nowhere to bring me discomfort. Imagine trying to navigate, make calculations and radio calls when all you can think about is taking a shit. It's a rough life sometimes...