My mom actually said that I was selfish the other day because I'm not interested in having kids.
My sister just had a baby last week, I went to visit and it felt like I was holding an alien. That's putting it mildly. He's cute, but he's not exactly what I want out of life.
Well, getting to the point...is it selfish to not want kids or is it selfish to have a kid, even though you really can't do everything you want to do for him/her? That's what I'm getting at.
My sister's husband has a good job where I work, but they're really not financially set to have a baby, even though they had one anyway. Myself, I think it's selfish to have a kid in a situation like that.
I honestly don't think they should have, but they did anyway. Now, why do people think I'm selfish? I don't get it.
I've come to the realization that if I were to have a baby at this point and time...what little life I have would be over and my boyfriend, who doesn't even want to get married right now, let alone 10 years from now, would probably up and split.
Anyway, my mother thinks I'm selfish because I want to keep what I have and not ruin things by getting married and having kids.

Shael

I think it's selfish to add more people to this planet.

But, most people who have kids pull out the selfish card because they want you to feel guilty for enjoying not being a parent. Why they're so concerned with it, I don't know.

Posted by SaraBellum Why they're so concerned with it, I don't know.

Allowing other people to enjoy being childless, for them, would mean admitting that children have at least some significant, negative impact on life (and consequently, as parents, their lives, too). And most parents, who consider themselves and their children to be pretty much one solid quasi-life form, therefore take it as a personal attack against them that their precious little angel-schnookums might NOT be the greatest thing since sliced bread. Plus, it means acknowledging that they just might've royally screwed up their one and only life.

The reason they're so concerned with it, though, is because people are WAY too narcissistic to stomach all that, and it's much easier to devote their energy to deluding themselves and telling you how wrong you are.

Posted by Shael My mom actually said that I was selfish the other day because I'm not interested in having kids. My sister just had a baby last week, I went to visit and it felt like I was holding an alien.

Your mother's attitude will change after she's had a few long and unending hours babysitting your sister's little one.

Congrats, btw, on becoming an aunt.

Trust me on this. If you don't want one yourself, don't go anywhere near the baby. Move to another city. Out of province/state, if possible. Here's why:

You'll be left alone in a room with this child one day. Sooner than you think. And you'll look at Baby and a different sort of slow creep will overcome you too, and pretty soon you'll be shooting out babies like a Pez dispenser.

KK...umm...hell no. I've already been left alone with said infant for two days, alone. I don't want it, I don't need it. I mean, sure you feel the "biological clock" ticking down, but I'd rather have it wind down and still not have kids.

Shael

Yeah, there's always adoption, even if someone changes their mind. And obviously I'm not one of those people who cares if the kid is mine or not. All my animals feed like their my kids and I am one of those people who say "I met so-and-so (and I'm referring to someone's dog) and I accidently refer to animals as people sometimes. So yeah um.....I think I'd be able to love a kid as if it were my own, even if it wasn't mine.

L

I don't think it's selfish to not want kids. I admit, I would like to eventually have one or two, I also think it would be great to adopt some that were already born instead of creating more people to take up room. However my husband has a god complex and he would like to create something that looks like him. That makes me think if I ever give birth there will be no way I can adopt, bacause he'll treat the other kid like a pet dog or something.

On another point, I can't stand people who ask "so when are you two getting pregnant?" First of all, I haven't even been married for a year, who cares that we've been together for 9? Give me some fucking time! And second, there is no "we" in "pregnant" unless he plans on putting his life in jeopardy to give birth.

I don't think it's selfish in the least. There has to be something to help ease overpopulation, lol.

One of my friend's friend (an older male) thought I was the biggest dirtbag on the planet because I didn't want kids. Those were his exact words. I was self indulgent and selfish for not wanting babies.

I love how people judge. He didnt think for one second that MAYBE because of genetic heart defects, cancer, mental illness and dwarfism swimming in my gene pool is the reason I have chosen not to have children.

Theres also too many people on this planet as it is. Adoption would be cool with me if I ever felt the need. That and newborns scare the shit out of me.

Posted by Senseriffic One of my friend's friend (an older male) thought I was the biggest dirtbag on the planet because I didn't want kids. Those were his exact words. I was self indulgent and selfish for not wanting babies. He didnt think for one second that MAYBE because of genetic heart defects, cancer, mental illness and dwarfism swimming in my gene pool is the reason I have chosen not to have children.

Not to mention the stupidity, arrogance, sexist-pigism swimming in his gene pool.

I grew up with my mother always telling me to NOT have kids. "Ok honey, whatever you do, DON'T have kids please. I don't want to be a grandmother. I delt with you and that's enough." I'm surprised she wanted me in the first place haha.

Adoption is awesome. If (for some unknown and highly unlikely reason) I were to ever change my mind about having kids, I would totally adopt. I was adopted myself. So was my mother, uncle, two cousins, and biological father. Family reunions were like meeting at the UN. We had Irish, Native American, Italian, Korean, Taiwaneese (sp?), German, and who knows what else.