This is sort of a rant.

I have worked as a tech in one of the big computer stores in Québec city for a little over 1 year. I stopped very recently cause I'm leaving with the army. I really don’t think I’m going to miss my old job very much!

I really hate how everyone thinks they are a fucking tech and know everything. On my last shift, some dude who bought a nice HP laptop came back saying the screen was broken. He immediately says that he works as a computer tech elsewhere and that he knows for sure that the laptop is broken. He says that when the laptop is plugged in with the AC adaptor, all is well but as soon as he unplugs it, the screen looses about 50% of its brightness. I explain that it’s completely normal in order to save energy and even offer the client to ‘fix’ it but he keeps on arguing that it’s really broken cause he knows cause he’s a tech and that he wants a refund. The client leaves pissed off cause of course I did not refund the laptop.

About 2 months ago some lady came back with a WRT54G saying it was completely dead. No problem I tell her, she only had it for 5 months, the box was complete with all the accessories and she had the receipt. Since Linksys is covered with a 1 year warranty, I would have sent it back. I open up the box to check the router. There was a 2 inch hole melted underneath. The plastic casing underneath the router was all warped but yet the PCB, which was clearly visible, was still nice and clean. No burn marks what so ever. She says that it happened alone. Now I know that the WRT54G sometimes tends to over heat but not that much! I tell her that I can’t do anything about it. She leaves yelling, screaming that she will see me in court. Yeah right.

It really sucks working in the public sector. Everyone is a tech. The client is always right is the worst bull shit ever.

I could go on but I wanna hear other stories.

more stories please.

So, as many as you may know, i used to work for Factory Direct. i got my start as an Assistant manager, which meant i had to deal with all the morons the techs couldn't deal with themselves.

These are my stories.

Guy came back with a printer, saying it didn't work. slammed it hard on the counter. said he plugged it in and nothing. we plugged it into our computer, used the driver on the disc, it worked fine. he starts swearing that it's a different printer. so we told him to bring in his computer and we would set it up for him. now most intelligent people know just to bring in the tower when someone brings in their computer. he brought in his entire computer, all wires, 21" CRT monitor, microphone, keyboard, mouse, and slams it all down on the counter. i told him he didn't need to bring it all in, and he of course started swearing at me. i had the technician load the driver, and he left sheepishly.


Another guy had a Massive tower he brought in, wanting to upgrade the mobo, chip and dvd drive. we had to wait for the new mobo to come in, so it took longer than expected. he was not happy, he screamed and yelled and bitched and whined. after we got his old CD drive working, we ejected it and found "Anal Whores #342" (or something like that) so, after we got it together and called him in, he was standing there with his wife, and i put the disc down and said "Here you go sir, this was in your CD tray" He turned bright red, and his wife did not look happy. he paid for the repair (which he said he wasn't going to do" and left the store without saying a word.

I have more. i'll add them when i get a chance.

you just won the game.

lol anal whores...

i was a 3rd level network admin for a large IT company who some people believe the name is an acronym for Ever Decreasing Service. anyways we were at the client site. it was a large aerospace company in the montreal area full of engineers. Now anyone who has dealt with engineers know that "arguing with an engineer is like mud wrestleing a pig, you realize after a while the pig likes it"

anyways, one of my experiences was with a guy who insisted his laptop was faulty (this goes back to when road warriors dialed in) anyways, he brings it in, i tried dialing in to our network, almost 56k connection, perfect. He goes home, doesnt work, brings it back i said i will try it from my house, i have a noisy phone line so its like a worst case test. Perfect connection at nearly all hours of the day. my boss suggests i go to the mans house. Sure enough, he is on a line quite far from a CO, according to the phone tech there are loading coils on the line and no way can he dial in consistantly. He asks "what is your company going to do to fix this" i said i will speak to my boss, cus i could have said that he would have to move for it to work, well my boss backed me up and she wrote him a nice letter with the phone number 611 so he could hassle the phone company about the problem!

i remember when i was feeling sad i would just go through the help desk logs for a good laugh!

im so glad i dont have to take these calls anymore! ive got quite a few of these. i did my time as a L1/L2 tech support monkey, then as a tech support team leader. i know quite a few of them were posted on 'tech support comedy'.

this is one of our part time guys. always sends us the good ones so we can point and laugh.

fail-at-monitor wrote: Subs monitor was unplugged and said "No Cable signal". Thought it was her internet being out as she has Cable Internet.

take-that-crap-back wrote: Sub just bought a new computer. was very happy. In fact, sub loved his new computer, until he spoke with me. Sub was concerned about its inability to pick up on wireless signals. Got sub to check into settings on his computer and discovered, no wireless card. Sub very unhappy. Sub was operating under the assumption that all computers had wireless installed in them by default. Advised sub that was the case with laptops, but not desktops. Sub going to take computer back to store.

electro-cat-strikes-again wrote: sub needed help saving his cat from "certain death" after it found its way to be completely tangled up in the modem wiring and dropped a glass of water on the modem to boot. (no this is not a joke. sub needed to know what he could unplug that would not electrocute his cat)

I used to work on a second level service desk for a large financial company in Toronto. I didn't really have too many problems with users as they seemed to understand that $hit happens and that we were working as quickly as possible to resolve whatever issue they were having. We supported about 2000 people and only about 20 of them were a$$holes.

My mother-in-law was another story. She lived 400K away (bonus) and taught a computer course for migrant farm workers (not a bonus) - this was one of the prerequisites for them to stay past their normal work-visa limits (or something like that). She didn't actually know anything about computers - she just taught the course and a little knowledge is really a dangerous thing. Because she taught a bit of DOS she was an expert .... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT USE FDISK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 6 times!!!!!!!!!!!! SIX TIMES she blew away her hard drive while "tuning it up". Rebuilding it became my monthly job, directing her over the phone. Even that would not have been so bad if she would have just done what she was told. Typical exchange: "Type DIR *., press enter, and read me what you see" sez I; over the phone I hear clickity click clickety click for about 60 seconds. "Read me what you see" sez I again. "I don't see anything. I rebuilt the MBR and am formatting the D drive and making it the active partition thingy 'caz I figured that was the next step" $#%# #%$5$^ ^$^$^$^. The fun didn't even stop there - she would go to other people's houses, break their computers and call me to fix them. On the rare occasion that I was at her house fixing her computer she and her husband would sit behind me, ask all sorts of inane questions and offer their opinion and advice on everything I was doing.

Things were bad enough in DOS/Win31 days but just got worse when Win95 came out. What I finally ended up doing when her cheap-a$$ power supply blew up and took out most of her rig was I built a brand-spankin' new P2, installed Win98 and a bunch of apps, imaged it, made a recovery cd and dangled it in front of her as a carrot - "Take this. The only cost is you can't call me for computer issues ever again". It actually worked - she hasn't called me since.

Now I just fix my wife's friends computers (for free)

i have a policy now, sure i will fix your computer. ONCE then its 25$ an hour 3 hour minimum, you dont like it go find another techie. if it makes me lose friends they werent good friends. If you have a plumber, electrician or accountant friend the conversation always starts "how much would it cost" but when you are a techie the conversation starts with "can you"

I've been a tech in varying capacities for years.

It's been awhile since I've had a specific story of craziness to tell (I'm an IT manager now... way less drama than being a tech in the trenches) but I'll relate a few memories I have.

Client accused me of surfing porn on his computer. My boss believed him. Turned out the guy was trying to hide his porn habit from his wife and blamed me to get out of the doghouse. That was a fun day. Browser history supported my side of the story. "Yeah, I wasn't on this guy's computer on a Sunday, boss"

Countless instances of the client saying "it just stopped working" only to open the computer up and find residue from all manner of liquids on the inside.

Tons of people just leave their porn (even videos of themselves!) just lying around on the desktop.

Lots of Mac owners bringing in machines saying their CDs were "stuck". Turned out they didn't know how to eject a disc. I must have seen this one a hundred times. Yes sir, I'm going to charge you $85.00 to press one button. You signed right here.

Go to a client's for a "no power" issue, press reset on the client's power bar, unplug the electric kettle and space heater from that same power bar. Charge: $175.00

Internet's not working! Go to Applications, drag Safari back into dock. Yep, that'll be $85.00

...

And on and on.