My mom was fine until my dad died. When he died, she completely lost it. We were always too close after that.

I think that's what caused most of my problems. I care about her, of course, and I don't want to see anything happen to her. I ended up trying to help with my sisters because she was all alone, it was just the four of us, so we got away with a lot at home, but outside, things were completely different.

Before my mom got remarried, we were actually a lot better off, not just money wise, but everything was a lot better. My relationship with my mom was a lot better. She actually listened to me. Now and for the past 24 years, she hasn't and it takes an awful lot to get her to listen when I'm right and my stepfather's wrong or she's wrong. It usually takes something horrible happening.

My sister rebelled against him, she just did what she wanted anyway. Me...I crumbled. You can just take being emotionally and spiritually shot down so many times by someone. You can just take being called stupid so many times or being told you only live there and you don't have a say in anything so many times, even when what you're saying is right, before you just give up.

I look at kids now that actually have a childhood and the opportunity to be a kid and I envy them. My sister got married, she has a healthy relationship for the most part. She had the opportunity to be a kid. I didn't. I know that sounds like a cop out, but it's the truth. It was me that went to the principal's office and got her out of trouble or made sure she did her homework, or whatever.

Sometimes it's like I'm raising my sisters all over again now that my stepdad's retired and my mom's taking care of my sister's baby while she works. I work 40+ hours a week just to keep things going and keep myself in food and the bills paid.

I don't even know what the point I was trying to make with this was.

Maybe it's the fact that even if you bitch and complain about your parents not letting you do something or not liking something you're doing, remember that they're not stopping you. That they're not dragging you kicking and screaming out of that abandonment or that they're not watching everything you're doing and treating you like you're 5 anymore. That they're letting you live your own life when there are other people stuck living for their parents because they probably couldn't take care of themselves. I'm not saying this to be pissy and miserable. Mostly just to point that the grass is nowhere greener than in your own backyard, even if it looks pretty brown around the edges.

Shael

Posted by Wilky Teen angst, sucks balls don't it? Your parents are just doing their jobs. Do what you'd like and just don't let them find out. Just be glad your parents give a shit. Mine let me do whatever I wanted and it took me a while to learn they didn't do me any favors.

Now, there's something I'd like to clarify here. There's a huge difference between parents giving a shit and parents blatantly disrespecting you. My parents have known about my exploring for over 2 years now, and never have they ever had a problem with it. That's because I explained exactly what it is I do, and what safety precautions I take. They're very caring parents, but they don't talk down to me because I choose to break the law for a hobby.