So I have no idea WTF I am doing wrong, but all my gf's ditch me for some random ass people. And the girls I click with I am to close too, to date...



List of girl friends:

1. She ditched me when she met some dude on a game online. It was long distance anyways and she told me it was only friendship and not to be jealous...then she cheated on me. 1 year down the drain. 2 months later her lover she ran away with went emo and has disappeared from messenger since.

2. I kinda get this one and kinda don't....We dated for 6 months everything fine accept uber strict parents. Whatever, I will deal with that. Her parents said I was too good for her (seriously) and kicked me out of there house for begin alone with her. Literally, we were sitting in there van and my mom was 20 feet away in her car watching us. Her mom freaked the fk out... My gf always said that I wasn't bad enough for her and she left me for a black gangster that was "only a friend". I think he got arrested last month.

(Notice a theme of only a friend)

3. My last one is really odd...Dated 7 months and then went to NYC to meet her entire family. Literally, 300 family members at a sweet 16 B day party for her cousin. On top of this ALL of them were West Indian (as my gf is) and I was the only white kid there. TOTALLY culture shock..Well during the party a huge family brawl broke out and I broke my wrist searching for her mentally disabled sister and protecting my gf/mom from getting hurt.

Well 2 weeks later she left me saying I was too emotional (wtf). Now she is dating a "friend she hung out with" that is hard core 19 yr old emo kid. Has half mo-hawk/spike hair and loves screamo even though he squeals. He has severe mental issues as well.

Well the only positive side of this is that the broken wrist got me out of my enlistment. Yesterday, she called me and I told her about the enlistment and she freaked out saying I violated her and shit...


I GIVE UP ON WOMEN... (anyone single?)

note: on gf 2 we did something in the van but it was minor hahah...come on teenager then?

If you want it to be good girl, get yourself a bad boy.



I'd say you are going in the right direction, learning which type of girls not to date. A few more mistakes and you should be all set!

Come on, those stories are not even that bad.

One girlfriend cheated then left me for one of my "friends". But I was persistent and she started seeing me on the side under the guise of me being a Friend. Then she left him for me, then broke up with me for a coke dealer. Now she is a stripper with a stupid cholo boyfriend and has a child.

Another was secretly using heroin while dating me. She was 15 at the time I was 16.

While another cheated on me with a guy who was into fucking dogs. She then "felt so bad" that she went into a downward spiral of cutting. I broke up with her after she called me after huffing an "entire can of rubber cement". Now she is a dominatrix.

Then another cheated on me with one of her friends multiple times. Then finally she breaks up with me after I spend the entire day begging on the street for money so I could pay for a morning after pill(condom broke).

Then there was this one chick who was in love(in a creepy possessive way) with one of my best female friends. She broke with me after disappearing for a week while on drugs and fucking untold numbers of men.

There are some people who have even stranger dating records than I do, my point is that it gets better. I've been with my current girlfriend for 3 years now. I found that rare person that I get along with at the moment, and that we can both grow and change together.

My tip, date an older woman. Girls from the ages 14 to 25 are insane, just don't do it. 35 is when they have a libido like an teenage boy.

And remember that all this advice is generalized(ie not true all the time)

Start dating those friends that you are too close to date. Really, that's just bs they say so they can get close to you without worrying about being "more than friends"... yeah, girls are kinna screwed up.

Speaking of which, example time! First two gf's were just outrageously immature. I mean, the one of them didn't drink water because she didn't like the taste - and this was in freaking africa. She almost had to be flown out of the country due to dehydration. 'Cause she didn't want to drink water.

Next three flings were psychotic - they went from "I love you" to "let me never talk to you, cross the street if we're walking towards each other on the sidewalk, and block you everywhere online" - and this was without me doing anything stalkerish, apart from saying I wasn't ready for a committed relationship.

Next long-term relationship was mostly-open. I had one rule though - don't screw my roommate. So one night she me/her/him were watching a movie in the living room, and I left early to go to bed. Trusting you say, right? Right. And well.... you see where this is going. In the bunk under me while I slept. She apologizes, I accept her (but don't let her do anything with roommate) and it lasts for a few months until she says "I think we should change our facebook status" - we were "complicated" with a plan to revise to "dating" in a few weeks. So I'm like ok. And she's like oh good, cause I don't want to date you anymore. So I'm dumped, whatever, she drives a few hours to snog me once or twice, and then in the patter of normal emails responds with "I can't talk to you and I'm not telling you why" and the by-now common round of blocking.

I think your options are porn or men or hookers.

So, um, if you really give up on women, I'm single...

1. Dont be emo - they say they like it, but they dont. Not really.

2. Be mysterious or interesting. Look at it like anyone you are trying to date has ADD and you need to keep the attention levels up. This has to be reciprocated by both parties though. Its a two way street to keep the others interest up, if they arent interesting to you then its not worth it is it?

3. Dont date people into hard drugs. Kinda a no brainer there.

4. Have a common thread with the person you are wanting to date but enough differences to keep things interesting.

5. I have no idea how old you are but it sounds like you are in high school or close to it (no offense). When people are that age relationships come and go frequently. Consider it a learning experience or training to catch the really good ones later in life.

6. The most interesting ones are the ones that dont advertise how interesting they are. Think about that.

7. Be honest & sincere. Intentions are not likely to be mistaken if you are up front about what you want. "ie - lets just be friends".

8. If you are on this forum there is a fair chance you are an explorer and thus a "bad boy/girl" for doing forbidden things. You have that covered so move on.

9. Dont do the long distance relationship thing, it simply doesnt work.

10. Be yourself. If you cant do that whats the point besides getting laid and if you cant do that with easy girls then I suggest getting to know yourself better or visiting a professional.

Valid points by by GreyKat. Especially the part about when your young, relationships come and go quite frequently. But going through the "crap" helps you decide later on what exactly you want from a relationship. i.e., we need to kiss our share of frogs before we find our prince/princess. Sound stupid? Sure it does. But its true.

I agree with Mindhacker, start dating some of those "friends" of yours if possible. That way you'll already have a pretty good idea of what this person is all about.

BTW, if you suspect someone is cheating and they are telling you "no baby, we're just friends", its probably bullshit. Thats the most common lie a cheater tells. At any age.

I am 19 (b day was on the 14th) and graduated High School right when I turned 17. I am far from emo haha...WAY WAY FAR. I do have ADD and ya you always need that rush. I left some info out about my last gf as I didn't find it relevant, but she had cutting issues which I got her to stop.I didn't want to trash any of my ex's as I respect them a little bit. You could say I am more of the shy/loner/nerd people? Never really hung out with kids my age as I have over bearing parents and a nasty divorce ruined any hope of friends as I was restricted. However, once I warm up to someone I am pretty insane. Half my co-workers think that I am very very interesting.

Most of my friends say I put myself to much into the relationship or for friends and thats the downfall. I go out of the way to please them and work hard to maintain them.

Mainly this is a thread to rant/let others rant about past relationships.

And wow that is creepy on the dog fking guy < <

Question- If they say "he/she is just a friend" and you don't believe it, does that make you controlling or jealous type?

And might take you up on that mindhacker -winks-

I think I just figured out most of your problem from your last post. You said you "go out of the way to please them and work hard to maintain them". As much as that sounds like the right thing to do; it will usually work to your disadvantage. Plus you said other people are also telling you thats your problem.

People like a bit of a challange, in every situation. If you are pouring it on and working much harder than the other person is, they tend to lose interest. You become boring and unchallanging. Too nice, too accommodating, and too giving will leave you lonely and taken advantage of.

Also, to answer your question as to whether or not your controlling or jealous because you don't believe the "just friends" scenario, NO. Your not jealous or controlling. What happened is that you figured out their little secret and their defense to that is usually that your just being jealous, controlling, or blowing things out of proportion.

Don't worry; women do like guys like you. But not till their about 40 years old.

Start being a half-caring jerk, blow them off a few times, use the "just friends" story when talking about other girls and you should be just fine.

Posted by Debi Start being a half-caring jerk, blow them off a few times, use the "just friends" story when talking about other girls and you should be just fine.

That's the truth, but don't take it too far. I just got out of a 1 year thing and have decided I've had it with girls: I go for women now.

I agree with Debi to a certain extent. Remember whats comes around goes around too so dont over do it! By the sounds of it though you do need to get over the puppy dog thing and just be a dog.

Posted by Debi I think I just figured out most of your problem from your last post. You said you "go out of the way to please them and work hard to maintain them". As much as that sounds like the right thing to do; it will usually work to your disadvantage. Plus you said other people are also telling you thats your problem. People like a bit of a challange, in every situation. If you are pouring it on and working much harder than the other person is, they tend to lose interest. You become boring and unchallanging. Too nice, too accommodating, and too giving will leave you lonely and taken advantage of. Also, to answer your question as to whether or not your controlling or jealous because you don't believe the "just friends" scenario, NO. Your not jealous or controlling. What happened is that you figured out their little secret and their defense to that is usually that your just being jealous, controlling, or blowing things out of proportion. Don't worry; women do like guys like you. But not till their about 40 years old. Start being a half-caring jerk, blow them off a few times, use the "just friends" story when talking about other girls and you should be just fine.

Ain't that the truth.

Hence my advice on dating an older girl.

Its kinda hard to see the line when enough is either to much or too little. Women give no straight forward clues and leave me guessing..

Thats why I avoid talking to them haha...I guess my self-esteem and lack of communicating skills hurts to. As a lot of people find that I speak on to intellectual topics or that I am not good at small talk. I am more direct to the point no bullshitting around.

interesting link I am scared of it

Posted by Drooldog interesting link I am scared of it

Scared? Of what?

For the record, we're not all batshit insane.

Posted by Lexi For the record, we're not all batshit insane.

Some of 'em are BFI

Sorry to tell ya mate - You just need practice. And even if you don't believe the "just friends" bit - which may or may not be true (or may be somewhat true - I had one gf who had "emotional affairs" and couldn't see that they were different) you have to say you do.

And as far as the "you try to hard" - yeah. You try to hard. You have to make them feel like you love them but not because they are such a good catch that they coulda done better than you.

Posted by Lexi For the record, we're not all batshit insane.

the rest are just faking it

Posted by Lexi For the record, we're not all batshit insane.

Amen Lexi, you are preaching to the choir on that one.

I usually am not crazy unless it's PMS or during said monthly event, so Sam cautiously avoids me for a few days during that.

I think once women hit either the late 20's or early 30's, the insanity usually begins to go out of their systems. It can happen earlier, but usually by this time, the idea of being an "old maid" sets in. Studies showed at one time that if a woman wasn't married by 30, it's was something like half as likely she'll get married at all as a woman who's 20 to 25.

What you need is someone jaded and pissed off at the world, so pissed off that they are sick and tired of playing the games, of the bullshit that both sides in a relationship tend to throw at it. It takes something just short of an epiphany to get to that point.

I'm dead serious about this. It does happen, once she realizes that there's nothing she can do, that she's basically painted herself into a corner emotionally, physically, with her job, with her life in general, then women get to the point where the bullshit disappears.

Eventually we give up on Prince Charming and take the first frog that comes along that makes us feel better about ourselves and makes it possible for us to make it through the day without murdering someone. It's not settling, believe me, it's just realizing our original standards are set entirely too high and that we realize that there's no perfect out there, only what's comfortable and what works. But it takes this on the part of both people in the relationship.

I can say one thing. Most women want a man to be a man, not a puppy dog. Sure, the snuggling is fun, but sometimes, you have to stand up to her, tell her what's wrong and what it takes to make it right for you.

Hopefully this makes some sense. I know people will likely disagree with me, but this is from my own personal experience.

Shael

Good points Shael; and I'm a living example of it.

I've been through my share of "frogs" and have finally matched myself with someone I would have dismissed 10 years ago.

The drama that comes along when your younger is okay at that point in your life. There's not too many well grounded people in the early 20's or so. At that point the lies, getting blown off, cheating with people who were supposedly "just friends" was something that most people accepted and that kind of behavior would keep you both interested and challanged, even if it was in a negative sort of way.

After enough years of that, most of us are sick and tired of the crap and want some peace in our personal lives. That's where truly "nice guys" come into the picture.

NICE GUYS . . . . who are MEN and can stand up for themselves. Not pathetic, drooling, puppy dogs like Shael said. There is a difference.