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UER Forum > Private Boards Index > Humour > Christmas (Viewed 1779 times)

metawaffle King of Puns Location: Brisbane! Gender: Male Total Likes: 19 likes Purveyor of Fine Lampshades \| \| \|	Christmas < on 11/20/2008 12:40 AM > \| Reply with Quote

	Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honour of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolises Christmas to get into heaven." The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates". The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolise?" The man replied, "These are Carol's."
	http://www.longexposure.net

dirt Location: Oakland, CA Gender: Male Total Likes: 0 likes Je suis très aimable et très caustique. \| \| \| \|	Re: Christmas < Reply # 1 on 11/20/2008 1:33 AM > \| Reply with Quote

	What's Ebenezer Scrooge's favorite perversion? "Humbuggery!"
	He seemed to move among very delicate objects, on ground mined with goodness knows what precious explosives. ~ Jean Cocteau

MutantMandias

Perverse and Often Baffling

Location: Atlanta, GA
Gender: Male
Total Likes: 268 likes

Are you a reporter? Contact me for a UE interview! Also not averse to the the idea of group/anal.

Re: Christmas
< Reply # 2 on 11/20/2008 1:52 AM >
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Posted by metawaffle

"In honour of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolises Christmas to get into heaven."

What a viscous, hateful piece of shit.

mutantMandias may cause dizziness, sexual nightmares, and sleep crime. ++++ mutantMandias has to return some videotapes ++++ Do not taunt mutantMandias

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metawaffle

King of Puns

Location: Brisbane!
Gender: Male
Total Likes: 19 likes

Purveyor of Fine Lampshades

Re: Christmas
< Reply # 3 on 11/20/2008 2:41 AM >
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Posted by MutantMandias

What a viscous, hateful piece of shit.

I want that in big, tinsel letters, on the roof of my house, next to an animatronic Santa. Deck the halls in boughs of extruded plastic, fa la la la laaa, la laaa laaa laaa.

http://www.longexposure.net

shotgun mario

Location: MSP
Gender: Male
Total Likes: 283 likes

MSP Elite™ Card-Carrying Member

Re: Christmas
< Reply # 4 on 11/20/2008 4:51 AM >
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Posted by MutantMandias

What a viscous, hateful piece of shit.

you, my friend, will now be forever remembered by me around this horrible season.

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KublaKhan Location: Edinburgh, Scotland Total Likes: 207 likes With Satan, it's always gimmie, gimmie. \| \|	Re: Christmas < Reply # 5 on 11/20/2008 7:26 AM > \| Reply with Quote

	So I'm working the grave yard shift at a local department store, and they've been torturing us with insipid X-Mas™ music since Nov 1. One night, I heard the familiar nasally yelping of one Willie Nelson, and he was fa-la-la-la-la-ing all over the damned place, and he sounded ridiculous. He must have been high when he agreed to do that gig. Otherwise, I've got the iPod going, and to counter the friendly cheery delightfullness of the McHoliday McSeason(™), I have a bunch of old school metal. So it's quite something to hear Bing Crosby warbling about a white Christmas in one ear, and then Bruce Dickinson screaming about the number of the beast in the other. Or maybe it's Ian Gillian screaming about race cars exploding, or maybe Dio is roaring about dragons and Satan. But generally, it's made my experience very enjoyable.
	"The truth is knowable. But probably not, ever, incontrovertible." --Don DeLillo PICS

don_corleyone Location: F/RoX Gender: Male Total Likes: 11 likes I have abandonment issues \| \|	Re: Christmas < Reply # 6 on 11/20/2008 2:38 PM > \| Reply with Quote

	the ONE christmas carol i need to hear every year is i want a hippopotamus for christmas.
	leave the gun. take the cannoli.

Katetron

Location: Middlesex New Jersey
Gender: Female
Total Likes: 0 likes

melting your brains

Re: Christmas
< Reply # 7 on 12/18/2008 9:51 AM >
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Posted by KublaKhan
or maybe Dio is roaring about dragons and Satan. But generally, it's made my experience very enjoyable.

fuckin a right DIO is badass

too many people not enuff swet

metawaffle

King of Puns

Location: Brisbane!
Gender: Male
Total Likes: 19 likes

Purveyor of Fine Lampshades

Re: Christmas
< Reply # 8 on 12/18/2008 10:37 AM >
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Posted by don_corleyone
the ONE christmas carol i need to hear every year is i want a hippopotamus for christmas.

Agreed. I only like hippopotamuseses.

http://www.longexposure.net

don_corleyone Location: F/RoX Gender: Male Total Likes: 11 likes I have abandonment issues \| \|	Re: Christmas < Reply # 9 on 12/18/2008 3:20 PM > \| Reply with Quote

	that song gets stuck in my head for the entire month of december.
	leave the gun. take the cannoli.

Wiccan Location: Hamilton Ontario Gender: Female Total Likes: 16 likes \| \|	Re: Christmas < Reply # 10 on 12/18/2008 4:24 PM > \| Reply with Quote

	Merry Christmas,eh! http://www.youtube...atch?v=l2oPio60mK4

UER Forum > Private Boards Index > Humour > Christmas (Viewed 1779 times)

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