Old people have plenty of health issues to share. Maybe if you write them out here, you won't be tempted to spew them out at the next family gathering thus grossing out anyone w/in ear-shout.

I hurt my back in February lifting weights, I haven't been the same since. Most mornings it hurts but it doesn't last long. However, since I can't run/lift anymore I got a big tummy. Sucks. Also, I scrubbed my gums away and recently had to replace much of them w/dead people gums. True story.

Lets see. I used to be active then I turned thirty and poof! My feet started cramping up when I walked, stood, etc. This cramping would cause charlie horses. It got to the point where for a year I couldn't really make it a block (thank god for bikes). Although my feet are better now, I still have to rub voltaren on my toes because they ache all the time. You see, the problem is that my tendons are too short, so they pull my toes in. My toes are always curled up. Too much pressure on my arches and viola a charlie horse and sore hips. I can barely move. I learnt that I always have to wear shoes with good support and can't be in places where I can't wear shoes, especially if there is hardwood floors.

Before all this I used to walk for hours everyday. Now I am a lethargic lump. My feet are always tender and whiney. Orthotics help but just a bit. I am still always aware of my feet. Right now I have them up and they are still throbbing and tingling for no good reason.

Also, I threw my back out this year. I was just bending over to unlock my bike and poof, I couldn't move.

Furthermore, I don't enjoy pooing and I am coming to the realization that it is something that may not be eradicated in my lifetime.

I got a lot. Can't really compare them to dead people gums though .

I have degenerative disk disease in my back. I can hear the vertebras grinding sometimes because there is no cartilage left. I got arthritis in my knees and one big toe. I have tendonitis in my shoulder.

I have grandma eyes. I can't see anything close up at all unless I have on magnifiers.

I've had ovarian and cervical cancer. I am also fat because of all my aches and pains I can't run anymore which use to keep me fit. Somedays I'm lucky if I can even walk. I am also getting varicose viens.

Yikes! Cervical cancer? Dear Lord, that's rough. I guess I should be thankful for the shape i'm in. My back isn't so bad that I can't still be active--I don't want to aggravate it but I suppose I could still run. I may have mild depression, but I'm too proud to have it diagnosed; even if it were I wouldn't believe it. Ok I can't top cancer, so I'm done. I hope you can function as well as possible for the rest of your stay here.

Nan is always one to upstage the crowd.

Yeah. I think I'm ok though. I still am active too. I can climb fences, run when I'm being chased and my back hurts way less carrying a napsack.

left knee- shot
dislocated shoulder, aches like a fucker this time of year
broken nose x5- that too gives me horrible headaches this time of year
broken clavicle- aches all the time
broken every finger... waiting for arthritis.
140 lbs overweight... fuck you give me another cheeseburger
asthmatic- thanks mom
legally blind in my left eye... right is fucked up
hemmorhoids... yeah, laugh... wait to you get them
sprained both ankles so many times, they are rubbery and just snap sometimes
cracked three ribs
cracked my skull... windshields are hard.
oh yeah, i have too much iron in my blood... it's really gross smelling when i start bleeding.

there.

Both ankles broken at least 3 or 4 times, the right one needs total reconstructive surgery due to torn ligaments and the bones in the joint being broken so many times. Been putting that off because there's no guarantee that it won't fuse and leave me unable to walk. Worse comes to worse, I may have to shortly because it's continues to get worse, causing me to limp.

Left and right patellas (kneecaps) cracked and/or broken once a piece, one is still sort of healing after being broken into 3 pieces earlier this year by a fall.

Carpal tunnel in both wrists, not constant pain, but cramping in the hands after extensive use of them.

Sciatica in both legs, residual numbness and lack of feeling in three toes on my left foot due to an asymptomatic slipped disk in my back. I had stitches in my pinky toe on my left foot because I couldn't feel it and continued to walk on it, not knowing how bad the cut was was until after I felt blood on the bottom of my foot later. If I'd have felt it, I could have figured out there was glass on the floor and pulled it out before it got too deep.

I think that's about it. Other than being horribly nearsighted and partially deaf in one ear due to chronic ear infections and an unhealed perforation in my right eardrum.

Shael

Posted by Shael Both ankles broken at least 3 or 4 times, the right one needs total reconstructive surgery due to torn ligaments and the bones in the joint being broken so many times. Been putting that off because there's no guarantee that it won't fuse and leave me unable to walk. Worse comes to worse, I may have to shortly because it's continues to get worse, causing me to limp. Left and right patellas (kneecaps) cracked and/or broken once a piece, one is still sort of healing after being broken into 3 pieces earlier this year by a fall. Carpal tunnel in both wrists, not constant pain, but cramping in the hands after extensive use of them. Sciatica in both legs, residual numbness and lack of feeling in three toes on my left foot due to an asymptomatic slipped disk in my back. I had stitches in my pinky toe on my left foot because I couldn't feel it and continued to walk on it, not knowing how bad the cut was was until after I felt blood on the bottom of my foot later. If I'd have felt it, I could have figured out there was glass on the floor and pulled it out before it got too deep. I think that's about it. Other than being horribly nearsighted and partially deaf in one ear due to chronic ear infections and an unhealed perforation in my right eardrum. Shael

Wow, that is an impressive list of horrible things that have happened to your lower portion. If you do not mind me asking, how is it that all that happened?

Posted by Seventh Stage Wow, that is an impressive list of horrible things that have happened to your lower portion. If you do not mind me asking, how is it that all that happened?

It started when I was about five with my ear. Chronic ear infections because the eustacian tubes that drain into my throat are too small and tend to get blocked, when that happens, I get an infection. I live on a certain type of antihistamine and sudafed because there's a reaction you get between them that drains the tubes. My eardrum literally exploded when I was 7. I had a horrible earache that just wouldn't go away and on the way to the ER at Plattsburgh Air Base, it exploded in the back seat of the car. I couldn't even stand up. The worst part, it happened over about six hours.

Ankles started later, mostly because when I was born, I was born knock kneed and pidgeon toed, so the tendons were weak in my ankles. I fell off of a bed when I was 9 and broke my right ankle the first time. I can't count how many times a stupid misstep or fall has caused a break or a sprain or a tear in them. Last break was from falling off a motorcycle when I was in college. A friend was teaching me how to drive his bike in a field, I hit the gas a little too hard and it got away from me.

Kneecaps are from falling down stairs and catching the corner of the steps with them.

I hurt my back sometime during my last job, I pretty much sat at a desk all day and my sister and I went on a trip. Sometime along that trip, what I believe happened was we were on an amusement park ride and I was pressed or bounced back into a very low back seat and it did something to my lower back, causing the disk issue and later the pressure on the nerve, which caused the sciatica. I get flare ups now and then, but the numbness won't go away. All the doctors I've been to said the numbness is a normal residual symptom and it probably never will go away.

Carpal tunnel...I spend most of my free time on a laptop. My last job, the same one I sat at a desk all day for was basically data entry and claims processing, so it just breeds carpal tunnel.

I think that covers everything.

Shael

My knees are generally shot from years of snowboarding followed by years of inactivity.

I have decided that I am not going to believe that I have these things that you get with age. Ya know like a little kid who did something naughty. He closes his eyes and thinks, if I can't see them they can't see me!

Shelly version:

Closes eyes and repeats, I am 20 something, hot and beautiful with no old lady issues.

wow - i feel humbled.

all ive got is chronic depression, weight issues and RSI from nearly 20 years of working with computers.

I am sore all over from a number of skateboarding related accidents yesterday.

I have a broken heart that refuses to mend.

Posted by argonian I have a broken heart that refuses to mend. I tried taking it out of the jar, and sewing it closed with fishing line, but that didn't help.

That's more gruesome than I'd have expected from you, Argonian...

~I'm always tired even when I get more than 8 hours sleep.

~My back always hurts but I think my New Year's Resolution for 2009 is
to finally get a breast reduction even if it has to come out of my own pocket.

~I have horrible allergies & found out I have asthma 4 years ago.

~I have just been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome throwing all other diagnosis's out the window plus adult ADD!

aside from a little carpal tunnel and sciatica now and then, i feel damn good for 40!

I lost one shoe this w/e. Went out for a walk and they got muddy, left them on the stoop to avoid tracking mud across (challenging) in-laws' floor, came out in the morning and one shoe was gone. Ailment? I don't know. Maybe a one-legged thief has the ailment and I'm reporting it for him or her.

Flatulence.