As many of you might already know, I'm the proud daddy of a 13 month old pot belly pig. He brings me much joy, and an almost equal amount of hassle. Still, I love him very dearly.

Anyway, I bought this pig with an ex-g/f, a year ago, and she was in his life for about 4 months until we broke up (not on bad terms, just not working out). Since then, I've had him the majority of the time, maybe every 3 weeks out of 4, and it's been working ok. Even better, if one of us goes on vacation, the other can take care of him.

Well now I'm seeing a new girl, and things have recently gotten a bit more serious (we have in the past month established a definite relationship). I didn't tell her when I first started seeing her, that I was still sharing the pig with my ex g/f, but before things got too serious I told her everything... as you can hopefully understand, I didn't want to scare her away before she got to know and trust me a little better.

She was upset, but I assured her that things were completely over with the ex (couldn't be more true), and that I don't even see my ex when I drop the pig off at her house (which is also 100% true, we both make sure of that), and I don't even want to in the slightest). She calmed down, and seemed ok.. but it hasn't really been brought up since. I also promised her I would be doing it as little as humanly possible.. One pickup and drop-off a month I don't think is that big of a deal.

Anyway, today I'm supposed to drop Taylor (pig) at the ex's house, because her family wants to see him on Thanksgiving and whatnot... lots of kids to play with, etc.etc. make him happy instead of sitting home alone while I'm out at a family member's house. I also will probably not be picking him up for awhile.

Well upon telling the ex, she is once again quite upset. I do understand that having ties with an ex is a tough pill to swallow for pretty much anybody. Being a very trusting guy myself, I don't feel it's really a big deal, but I know better by looking at it from her perspective. And it's not really a trust issue so much as a feelings issue. I know it is just that feeling, that knowing I'm still in contact with the ex that bothers her, and I don't blame her for it.

I need help though. And it's not often I ask others for help on my relationships because obviously I'm the one in it and I know whats going on best. But in this case I need a few things...

Ladies, I would very much like to hear how you would feel if you were in her shoes. I would also like to know how what is most likely to make you feel better if you were in such a situation. What would you like to see and hear from your man that would make you able to deal with such a situation? What would comfort you?

Gentlemen, what would you do in my position? While things aren't very serious yet, they are going beautifully. I feel that this girl is worth a great deal of my time and effort on my part. I still do not want to hurt my ex, and it's neither fair to her or the pig to keep them apart. What would you tell a girl you've been seeing that you think would make her feel better about this?

I'm very distressed over this. I will very much appreciate every answer and individual who replies. I'll owe all of you one for your help!

I remember seeing pics of Taylor, such a cutie pie; or cutie PIG.

Anyway, with that being said, I agree that Taylor and your ex shouldn't be kept apart if everything has been going smoothly. I had shared custody of my last dog with my ex, and to me its not much different than having a child together.

I think you should be firm (but tactful) about this with you new gf. If she doesn't like it and thinks she can rattle you about it, she may continue to do so.

Why don't you offer to bring her along on a pick up/drop off. She'll be able to see there is nothing threatening to your relationship and it may calm her fears. After enough invitations to tag along, she'll probably realize that if there was something happening during the drop offs that she wouldn't approve of, then you certainly wouldn't be inviting her to participate.

Good luck - oink oink

Posted by Debi Why don't you offer to bring her along on a pick up/drop off. She'll be able to see there is nothing threatening to your relationship and it may calm her fears. After enough invitations to tag along, she'll probably realize that if there was something happening during the drop offs that she wouldn't approve of, then you certainly wouldn't be inviting her to participate.

That's exactly what I was thinking when I read it. It is really the only course of action that you can take that is likely to have any positive effect at all.

And it might not help in the least. Remember, women are completely irrational creatures, beyond the understanding of any living thing.

Two things stand out as unusual, to wit:

Posted by ActionSatisfaction Esq. Anyway, today I'm supposed to drop Taylor (pig) at the ex's house, because her family wants to see him on Thanksgiving and whatnot... lots of kids to play with, etc.etc. make him happy instead of sitting home alone while I'm out at a family member's house. I also will probably not be picking him up for awhile.

1) A pig named Taylor? Taylor the Pig? No...this isn't happening. I must be high.

2) I'd make damned sure they've got a turkey in the oven before dropping Taylor off.

So far, debi has the best advice. But I would like to further add that you cannot cave in, as doing so would reinforce in her mind that there is something going on. Moreover, as it seems important to you that your ex has equal custody. I would also advise against caving because it would not be in line with your own values, and doing so borders co-dependence.

All said, this sounds like the making of a Woody Allen film.

Thanks Dirt, but I must say that KK has a very valid point about making sure theres a turkey in the oven before he drops off Taylor . . . .

How 'bout post a pic or two of Taylor for those who haven't seen him yet, he's awesome!

So I took the advice telling me to ask her to go with me while I drop him off and pick him up... The response left much to be desired. Today before I went to drop him off I called her up and did exactly that... I told her I was willing to do whatever it took to show her she didn't have to worry about it. I asked her if she'd come with me to drop him off and see exactly what I was doing.

What she told me was to the effect of "I really just don't want to have anything at all to do with the whole situation.. I just don't want to deal with it." Before I could say anything else she said we'd have to talk about it later, said she was ok (I immediately asked), returned my goodbye and had to get off the phone...

Yeah... fuck if I know. Now I'm just sitting here waiting for her to call me. And yes, I'll stand firm on this all, right to the end if it comes down to it. I just can't believe it actually might. I mean... what the fuck?

Anyway... I believe now anybody can see the "public" private boards... SO here's the original thread on Taylor from awhile ago: http://www.uer.ca/...d=51827&currpage=1

There's more pics on page 2 if you look! He's a ham for attention.

Thanks for all your responses so far, it means a lot to me. If anybody has anything to add, please continue to post.

Posted by ActionSatisfaction Esq. So I took the advice telling me to ask her to go with me while I drop him off and pick him up... The response left much to be desired. Today before I went to drop him off I called her up and did exactly that... I told her I was willing to do whatever it took to show her she didn't have to worry about it. I asked her if she'd come with me to drop him off and see exactly what I was doing. What she told me was to the effect of "I really just don't want to have anything at all to do with the whole situation.. I just don't want to deal with it." Before I could say anything else she said we'd have to talk about it later, said she was ok (I immediately asked), returned my goodbye and had to get off the phone... Yeah... fuck if I know. Now I'm just sitting here waiting for her to call me. And yes, I'll stand firm on this all, right to the end if it comes down to it. I just can't believe it actually might. I mean... what the fuck? Anyway... I believe now anybody can see the "public" private boards... SO here's the original thread on Taylor from awhile ago: http://www.uer.ca/...d=51827&currpage=1 There's more pics on page 2 if you look! He's a ham for attention. Thanks for all your responses so far, it means a lot to me. If anybody has anything to add, please continue to post.

Wow, I hate to say it, but that looks like a major red flag to me. It is normal in a relationship for people to step on each others toes, and push buttons. But an unwillingness to communicate is not something I recommend dealing with. Have you called her yet?

Ahh I guess it was a bit of a misunderstanding... She was at work and somebody came in so she had to go... Just didn't bother to tell me at the time and rushed off the phone, lol. Perfect timing made it seem a lot worse then it was.

Anyway.... I'm happy to say that things have been resolved and all is well! WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!

Thanks for all your help folks! Like I said, I owe ya's one.