She pisses me off. I try to be nice, only because I don't want to screw up my husband's friendship with her husband. I've never met someone so self righteous and opinionated - it just makes me wanna puke. I offend her with every move I make.So I stay away and she sends me emails about things that she's heard that I've done or said or who I hang out with and why they offend her. Blah, blah, blah. So, this has forced me to come up with an asshole disclosure. When I meet new people. I will give them the disclosure so it's all out there and they're not so traumatized when I do something.

Wendy's Asshole Disclosure

It's nice when you first meet a person and they seem cool. But let's be honest, you don't really know what they're like. They could be putting up a good front or be in an unusually good mood that day. So, from now on when I meet people that I may become friends with I will be giving them an asshole disclosure.


If you decide to become my friend, please be aware that these might be some things that I do occasionally (some more frequently than others).


1. I'm moody

2. Sometimes I don't want bothered.

3. There are times that I will say things you don't like.

4. I might talk about someone you know and not always in a good way.

5. I like to drink…a lot on weekends.

6. I listen to really loud metal in my car that may give you a headache or cause you to go deaf.

7. The filter between my mouth and brain, it doesn't exist.

8. I like to talk about myself in an unrealistic grandiose way sometimes just to be silly.


9. I'm all about satire and sarcasm (if this offends you, you cannot be my friend…ever).

10. Sometimes I will yell at people in public for no reason (this has caused new acquaintances to run off into another aisle or in a different direction).


I'm only disclosing ten things so far. If I feel like it I might post some more later.

Oh okay, This makes sense now.



Eh, I heart all your faults.

You forgot...Drinking in the AM & loving dive bars.

Jay Jay!!! I love ya !

OMG and to think that I was very excited to find out that there we people like me when I stumbled on UER!!!

Would it be ok if I change the name from Wendy's Asshole Disclosure to Shelly's Asshole Disclosure (with proper credits of course) and post that on my fridge?