So, how has your perspective on the festive season changed over the years?

Personally, I think I appreciate friends and family more than I perhaps did when I was younger. The gift giving and receiving is all fun, but I have to admit it's the getting together, eating too much, and tormenting each others' children that makes me happy in my dotage.

It also makes me appreciate friendships I have with people that I've never met in person, and leads me to writing sappy posts like this.

So, Merry Christmas and such, fellow aged people

Adding my sappy post:

It has changed so much over the years. I appreciate the hand written note or the special email from someone that I have never met like you mentioned. I dreaded the holidays this year because of who I have lost and will never "spend time" with anytime soon and all the stress of not being able to give as in years past. Ya know it was all ok and even better than ok. We got together and shared some time, memories, food and drink and made memories that will last far longer than the gifts that we probably won't remember 2 years from now.

Posted by metawaffle So, how has your perspective on the festive season changed over the years? Personally, I think I appreciate friends and family more than I perhaps did when I was younger. The gift giving and receiving is all fun, but I have to admit it's the getting together, eating too much, and tormenting each others' children that makes me happy in my dotage. It also makes me appreciate friendships I have with people that I've never met in person, and leads me to writing sappy posts like this. So, Merry Christmas and such, fellow aged people

Exactly. That and driving your relatives and in-laws to near distraction. I personally enjoy helping myself to my father-in-law's 60 year old scotch. That's some good stuff, and he has lots of it.

Getting the kids cranked on sugar and then turning them over to the grandparents for a few hours always warms my heart. Dressing the dog up in stupid reindeer antlers...essentially humiliating man's best friend for the sake of a cute snapshot...is fun too. Doggie always gives me that 'I'm going to piss in your shoes when you're asleep' look, and sure enough, that's what I can expect come morning.

Every year our Christmas becomes a little bit smaller.

Last year my mother didn't want to bother with putting up a tree, so I put one up regardless when she left the house . She appreciated the gesture when it was all said and done but didn't want to do it herself. It was a nice Christmas with my brothers being home for the holidays. We had agreed that we weren't going to buy for one another, only for the grandchildren. As old as I am, part of me still enjoys waking up to seeing presents under the tree.

This year, with my siblings at their respective in-laws for December 25, my mother replacd the usual tree with three small (four feet tall) wooden craft trees. We didn't do presents this year except for the grandchildren, and I had one brother visit before Christmas, while the other one will be coming up for New Years. It was just my parents and myself home for Christmas Day.

It seems we downsize and simplify every year, which kind of sucks... at the same time, I find myself focusing more on the family bonding than the actual practice of buying gifts. To me it's all about having everybody home under one roof, the coziness of sitting around the fireplace, and just socializing.

This year could potentially be the last one for my father, so I'm trying to make it a memoriable one.

This is the first year in over 30 years we haven't all gotten together at my grandmother's Christmas day.

She passed away just before Thanksgiving, so now we're all scattered. Four smaller families...Us, my two uncles and my aunt. My cousins are still here, along with their kids, but for the first time, we didn't get together for dinner on Christmas day. My grandmother was the one thing that held all of us together, she insisted, no matter how ill she was, that we all pack up the kids and the presents and go.

Instead, I ended up spending the evening with Samurai, which was just as nice, but I feel bad for my parents. Even though everyone would complain about going, including me, this year was just unexpected. It was one of those things we all thought we'd end up having to do until Hell froze over because a lot of the time, it was a pain in the ass and my poor grandmother couldn't cook the way she used to, so lumpy mashed potatoes and dry turkey, we'd all go just the same, for her. No one wanted to even bother getting together on Christmas day, no one wants to bother with New Year's Eve either.

My whole problem with it...everybody's getting older and it's starting to make me very aware of my own mortality in all of this. I usually walk through life pretty oblivious to it, but it's beginning to really get to me and Christmas just makes it worse. Hopefully New Year's Eve will be better.

Shael

I think I need to have kids to enjoy this season. I use to love it, but the last few years I see a downward spiral.

I find that i enjoy giving presents than receiving.

Also, I'm all about my family more than I once was.

Posted by argonian I think I need to have kids to enjoy this season. I use to love it, but the last few years I see a downward spiral.

I have a few minutes to kill if you're serious about this 'having kids' bullshit.

Posted by KublaKhan I have a few minutes to kill if you're serious about this 'having kids' bullshit.

Back off mister. She's already stated on UER that I have viral sperm.

although i love my family to death, there are far too many of them.

my mom has seven siblings. as you can imagine, this makes for quite a few cousins, and now that we are in your late-20's/early-30's -- that's quite a few people all squishing into my parents place for Christmas every year (note that my mother is the family control-freak organizer, so all holidays MUST be at her place).

my wife and i are just a tad too misanthropic to enjoy a full out family Christmas with my family. we also both despise small talk -- and this is all you get with a housefull of thirty-odd people. i hate talking about things i care nothing about. my moms family is just a bit too uptight, or maybe it just seems that way with all the damn small talk.

this year was going to be bad just because of my grandmother passing on in october. some of my moms family took it well, others not so well. mercifully, we just did Christmas Eve at my parents place, and then left for my wifes parents place for Christmas dinner this year! they have a much more relaxed Christmas, fewer people and more relevant conversation.

EDIT: 10 mins later -- after doing the dishes.

anyways, you were asking how this has changed over the years....

i think ive gotten progressively more withdrawn during holidays as time has gone on. ive never really been a huge chrismas (or any other holiday) freak. even less so after working in retail with the ever-present christmas muzak starting sometime in october. i think that maybe, holidays were designed with extroverts in mind.

Jesus...I hear you, neX. The parent-in-laws have something like 20 siblings between them, plus their kids, plus their kids kids. Get them all ito one room and it's something like 60 people, and they're all drinkers. Which isn't bad...in fact, it's everything GOOD (my father-in-law has a few bottles of 60 year old scotch kicking around, and he usually advises me to help myself, and I oblige his wishes, because I respect him as my wife's father, and he knows best, especially when what he knows concerns 60 year old scotch). Fortunately, they live in a giant house in the middle of nowhere, so I can easily disappear with my brother in law and one of those lovely bottles of scotch.

I think I'd miss the awkward socialising if it wasn't there

Posted by metawaffle I think I'd miss the awkward socialising if it wasn't there

Yes. The thoughtful facial expressions directed at people you've not seen in 15 years.

The nodding, etc. directed towards people you'd otherwise murder if you weren't indirectly related to.

We had our annual "there is no such thing as sexual harassment, because women like the attention" discussion. That is why I drugged up before the discussion. To make it easier to ignore the conversation and go to my happy place. At least we didn't get to the "natives are lazy, worthless and a drain on society" discussion.

Posted by KublaKhan ... it's something like 60 people, and they're all drinkers...

i _wish_ they drank. but they dont. not sure if thats worse or not. things could go either way.

Posted by argonian We had our annual "there is no such thing as sexual harassment, because women like the attention" discussion. That is why I drugged up before the discussion. To make it easier to ignore the conversation and go to my happy place. At least we didn't get to the "natives are lazy, worthless and a drain on society" discussion.

These discussions are why when it came to family parties, I'd drag something to keep me involved, like whatever new electronic toy or gadget I got for Christmas and they'd leave me out of it, because usually if I got involved, it turned into a shouting match.

I quit drinking, for the most part, other than one or two once in a great great while, I woke up one too many mornings looking for hair of the dog and realized it had to stop, so I never fit in. I still don't, but with my gram gone, I still sort of miss it.

Shael

Posted by argonian We had our annual "there is no such thing as sexual harassment, because women like the attention" discussion. That is why I drugged up before the discussion. To make it easier to ignore the conversation and go to my happy place. At least we didn't get to the "natives are lazy, worthless and a drain on society" discussion.

My grandfather attempted to engage me in a political conversation when I was there for Thanksgiving. He asked me if I voted for Obama, and I said yes. He said, "Boy, he sure has a lot of work to do." and I replied, "Yeah, he has a lot of messes to clean up from the last eight years." and nothing was said about politics for the rest of my visit.