I have a BFF who is a guy. We have never been together other than 1 hug in the years we have known each other. He is out of a job and soon will be out of a place to live. He has no family at all. In about 3 weeks he will be homeless and the few close friends other than me have not stepped up to help.

Now for the question. Do I approach my husband and ask if he is ok with BFF moving in? They know each other and husband is aware of the bad situation he is in. Something tells me I am asking for big trouble here but I don't have the money to lend him and I know he would do what he could for me.

I think you should approach it as "Should and HOW can we help this person" to leave the options open. Could turn into a massive doggie doo-doo pile..

"I don't..she kinda funny and all."

"I said I know, everybody funny..now you funny too."

Posted by G to the Race "I don't..she kinda funny and all." "I said I know, everybody funny..now you funny too."

OMG that tune came to mind as I was thinking this over

Just admit it, you're afraid you're going to come home one day and catch the two of them in bed, aren't you?

Posted by micro Just admit it, you're afraid you're going to come home one day and catch the two of them in bed, aren't you?

I always knew I could count on you my dear

Posted by Drooldog I think you should approach it as "Should and HOW can we help this person" to leave the options open. Could turn into a massive doggie doo-doo pile..

This is good advice. But, I don't think I could do it w/out looking at the wife like a basset hound and saying, "Pleeeeeeeaaasse, we gotta help him!"

Yeah, I agree with Drooldogs advice. Approach your husband and see what his ideas are first. Your a good person to help a friend in need

I think that is what I will do. He knows how bad it is getting. I am sure if he is evicted that hubby will not let him sleep in his car.

Posted by Debi Yeah, I agree with Drooldogs advice. Approach your husband and see what his ideas are first. Your a good person to help a friend in need

Agreed there as well. However, if both you and your husband decide to help the friend, make it clear to the friend that this is a temporary arrangement and that he can stay until he is back on his own two feet. And if he appears to be just hanging around not looking for work and another place to live, then both you and your husband harden up and kick him out.

It's great that you are willing to help a friend in need but don't allow yourself to become a door mat in the process.

I am not sure he would even accept the offer if it gets to that point. He is a very proud man. I would not think that he would hang for long but you are right, you never know. It could not be a long term thing.

what happened?

I helped a friend of mine (my best friend) this way. What happened is that my relationship crashed (not just because of this, but it was a great factor), the guy lived in (took over) my house for 6 months and kept dragging it with lame excuses, and when i gave him a very clear ultimatum (because I was moving out, and had rented the place out) he even missed that. After that, I felt very used, and he has to make something up to of before I can call him "friend" again.

In hindsight, I.m never doing this again, at least not without a very clear end date.

Tijmen

Posted by rainman8889 Agreed there as well. However, if both you and your husband decide to help the friend, make it clear to the friend that this is a temporary arrangement and that he can stay until he is back on his own two feet. And if he appears to be just hanging around not looking for work and another place to live, then both you and your husband harden up and kick him out. It's great that you are willing to help a friend in need but don't allow yourself to become a door mat in the process.

i could not have said it better myself.
i did that a long time ago. i wont do it again if i am living with a g/f or wife.

cdevon1200

Posted by IIVQ what happened? I helped a friend of mine (my best friend) this way. What happened is that my relationship crashed (not just because of this, but it was a great factor), the guy lived in (took over) my house for 6 months and kept dragging it with lame excuses, and when i gave him a very clear ultimatum (because I was moving out, and had rented the place out) he even missed that. After that, I felt very used, and he has to make something up to of before I can call him "friend" again. In hindsight, I.m never doing this again, at least not without a very clear end date. Tijmen

He got it together at the last minute and never need to stay here. I am very lucky that I have the greatest friends in the world. I sure that if he had need to take me up on the offer that it would have turned out just fine.

I just spotted this. I made an offer at the time as well. Glad it all worked out though!

Posted by shellyl He got it together at the last minute and never need to stay here. I am very lucky that I have the greatest friends in the world. I sure that if he had need to take me up on the offer that it would have turned out just fine.

Glad to hear that. Best of luck to your friend.