So, my ex, a nice girl, is crazy. After a year or wrestling with her insanity it came to an end with a big fight, and I don't think she has fully recovered from it. I'll spare most of the particulars, but she had been doing speed and speed dealers while in another country as well as playing the whole "well I fucked him, but not him, but really him" game after she accused me of cheating (a blatantly false charge based on the story of a 17 year old schizophrenic (yay really)).

This all went down more than a few months ago, but she is still contacting my friends and spreading outright lies about me. Just this weekend I ran into two people that she had long rants towards about me. Now, most people will see her for the unstable rich-girl-anarchist that she is, but her persistence worries me. It has literally been months since I've spoken to her, and she still is causing drama for me. A while back she almost broke up a really great relationship (that I'm still in).

How long should I expect this sort of thing to last?
She claims to be in a relationship currently, (but "doesn't love him") and she has had a number of hookups. Another thing worth noting here is that I was "her first", she says.

Is there a way to get her to stop?
I know how to push her buttons, but she seems to know mine to some degree as well.

What sort of damage control should I be doing?
I find it annoying rather than infuriating that she is still trying to cause problems. I've moved on and am in the best relationship I have ever been in and I have no worries about her attempts at ending that, but she is getting into my professional life as well.

Sounds like this girl needs closure. If it ended after a big fight, sometimes there is more to be said/resolved.

It may be in your best interest to call her and resolve whatever her problem seems to be with you.

Course, thats a possible resolution for SANE people. Good luck!

arsenic

Posted by earthworm Is there a way to get rid of crazies?

No.

Murder?

We'll suicide won't work. We've all seen the skull thread.

the only cure for the crazies is mind blowing sex. Everyday.

Posted by Senseriffic the only cure for the crazies is mind blowing sex. Everyday.

QFT

Wouldn't that tend to keep them around though?

Anyway, it seems the easiest way to get rid of a clinger is by out-clinging them. Deluges of phone calls, random creepy messages (texts, every social network the belong to..etc.etc..), and just letting them know you're always "nearby". It also helps if you randomly show up at their home and job unannounced for no apparent reason, multiple times.

Of course the potential for backfire is there, but I think they'll be creeped out within a month.

As for your situation.... Hell hath no fury like a crazy woman scorned. And it doesn't seem she wants to be with you anymore, just cause you problems. I had a girl like that once... we went out for 4 months, broke up, and she was still trying to mess up my relationships 2 whole fuckin' years later. Just gotta ignore the games man.. They go away eventually.

Posted by Senseriffic the only cure for the crazies is mind blowing sex. Everyday.

An orgasm a day keeps the crazy at bay... but that's only for before you break up.

After that it's just time. In my experience it'll be probably 6months, and there's nothing to speed up the process except ignoring them. Sucks, but whatcha gonna do?

You can always file a complaint with the police, and they can charge her with harassment.

Posted by MindHacker An orgasm a day keeps the crazy at bay... but that's only for before you break up. After that it's just time. In my experience it'll be probably 6months, and there's nothing to speed up the process except ignoring them. Sucks, but whatcha gonna do?

it has been about six months and she lives in another state but she is still nuts. And a whore.

Oh my, a nutty whore. Your in for the long haul.

Nutty whores are the best whores!

Posted by hydrotherapy Nutty whores are the best whores!

Not in the least. I'm certain that she put me on antibiotics. Funny thing is that as I sat there in the emergency room thinking I had a twisted testicle, I saw her name on a bio-hazard disposal container. Minutes later the doctor told me that it was an infection.

My girlfriend, who came to hospital at midnight, was right next to me when they told me this. She is a saint for not freaking out about this.

Posted by earthworm Not in the least. I'm certain that she put me on antibiotics. Funny thing is that as I sat there in the emergency room thinking I had a twisted testicle, I saw her name on a bio-hazard disposal container. Minutes later the doctor told me that it was an infection. My girlfriend, who came to hospital at midnight, was right next to me when they told me this. She is a saint for not freaking out about this.

lol, so you got a stalker and an STI?

just like winning the lotto,twice.

Whores tend to have been sexually abused - thus the crazy. Hurray for repetition compulsion!

I've found that the best way to alleviate situations like that is to sit them down at a diner and discuss over cake and coffee. Don't leave 'till she bawls her eyes out, throws a tantrum, or talks your ears off for hours. After everything is calmly resolved and she got everything off her chest, both parties should feel more at ease. Note: Coffee is to keep you awake, cake is to keep her calm. How can you be mad at someone who is giving you cake?

If that doesn't work, just block her calls and whatnot.

Posted by theRequ13m Whores tend to have been sexually abused - thus the crazy. Hurray for repetition compulsion! I've found that the best way to alleviate situations like that is to sit them down at a diner and discuss over cake and coffee. Don't leave 'till she bawls her eyes out, throws a tantrum, or talks your ears off for hours. After everything is calmly resolved and she got everything off her chest, both parties should feel more at ease. Note: Coffee is to keep you awake, cake is to keep her calm. How can you be mad at someone who is giving you cake? If that doesn't work, just block her calls and whatnot.

Sound advice, but she happens to be in Prague at the moment. Luckily I haven't heard from her in a while, and my tests came back clean. Strangely.

I know for a fact that she was abused. She showed up at my place after getting a surgery to fix some of that damage. A surgery she mentioned nothing about until she was drunk, crying and stuck in a crawlspace in the center divider of a freeway the first time I tried mushrooms. She's probably the most sane of her sisters too.

To tell the truth I don't feel like I have any responsibility to fix her problems, I just want her to stay away. It literally takes her being a country where she has little or no access to other people.

Posted by earthworm Sound advice, but she happens to be in Prague at the moment. Luckily I haven't heard from her in a while, and my tests came back clean. Strangely. I know for a fact that she was abused. She showed up at my place after getting a surgery to fix some of that damage. A surgery she mentioned nothing about until she was drunk, crying and stuck in a crawlspace in the center divider of a freeway the first time I tried mushrooms. She's probably the most sane of her sisters too. To tell the truth I don't feel like I have any responsibility to fix her problems, I just want her to stay away. It literally takes her being a country where she has little or no access to other people.

You're right, you don't have any responsibility to fix her problems. It's a good thing you understand that too because there are lots of people out there who feel as though they need to do something to help them recover and obviously that never ends well. In reality that's something only she can help herself with years therapy. I understand this kinda thing more than I'd like to admit.

At least you have space to breath now. I don't think there is much you can do if she comes back and it all starts over again besides get the authorities involved. Telling her to go away will just make her feel even more hurt which will cause her to overreact again and again. Just make sure you always know you aren't the one hurting her even if she tries to place the blame on you. If you have to go to the extreme of getting a restraining order then do it. It's her past that taints her present and unless she's getting regular help it will only get worse. Overall, you should never be anyone's trauma-sponge especially if it affects your well being.

Wow this was uplifting...

[edit: typo]

Posted by ActionSatisfaction Esq. Wouldn't that tend to keep them around though? Anyway, it seems the easiest way to get rid of a clinger is by out-clinging them. Deluges of phone calls, random creepy messages (texts, every social network the belong to..etc.etc..), and just letting them know you're always "nearby". It also helps if you randomly show up at their home and job unannounced for no apparent reason, multiple times. Of course the potential for backfire is there, but I think they'll be creeped out within a month. As for your situation.... Hell hath no fury like a crazy woman scorned. And it doesn't seem she wants to be with you anymore, just cause you problems. I had a girl like that once... we went out for 4 months, broke up, and she was still trying to mess up my relationships 2 whole fuckin' years later[/high[/color]]. Just gotta ignore the games man.. They go away eventually.

OBJECTION!


I would give her a call and confront her. You know, ask her what she really wants. After all, she may just need a friend. Then again, she just might be fucking nutballs