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UER Forum > Private Boards Index > Zombies > Swine Flu (Viewed 2482 times)
Ikky 


Location: In Transit
Gender: Both
Total Likes: 4 likes


^ROLAND LOOK HERE^

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Swine Flu
< on 4/28/2009 6:33 AM >
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Don't be fooled! It's merely the initial virus that will kill many humans, making us ripe for reanimating. A recruiter so to speak




I make love the same way I resolve arguments. With my fists.
trent 

I'm Trent! Get Bent!


Location: Drainwhale hunting
Gender: Male
Total Likes: 9 likes


Not on UER anymore.

 |  |  | infinitedecay
Re: Swine Flu
< Reply # 1 on 4/28/2009 1:48 PM >
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Posted on Forum: UER Forum

http://www.endurin...news/us_042809.php

You Will Die Of Swine Flu Really Soon


As more and more cases of swine flu are confirmed across the United States, experts throughout the nation have become increasingly certain that most likely, you will die from it really soon.

"Swine flu has the potential to become a pandemic," said Dr. Alan Lepow, an infectious disease specialist at the Cleveland Clinic, implying that eventually, we will all get the swine flu and then die.

What is swine flu? Nobody seems to be able to provide an answer that doesn't take expensive recording time to explain, but many experts seem to agree on one thing: swine flu is similar to the normal human influenza virus, except that instead of causing a runny nose and muscle aches, it causes painful, horrifying death.

One official from the Center for Disease Control (CDC) likened the flu to a [zombie] "virus", something that will spread insidiously and relentlessly, until you'll try and seek help in a hospital, but the hospital will be dark and scary, because everyone inside will be dead from swine flu.

"For example," said Jeffrey Spalding, a man who was standing outside the CDC, "a child contracts swine flu, and passes it on to another child by attacking and biting the other child. Soon, that child begins to vomit blood from the eyes, and the eye-blood vomit can also pass on the virus. Suddenly, all of England is dead. That's pretty much the science of it."

Spalding says that everyone inside the CDC agrees that once swine flu has decided to pursue humanity, "nothing can stop its hunger from devouring all human flesh on Earth."

When pressed, Spalding clarified that the virus does not actually eat human flesh, "but it might as well."

Some estimates indicate that close to 80% of Mexico has already died of the swine flu. Despite efforts by American conservatives to keep these infected Mexicans out of the United States, the swine flu has spread into normal, hardworking American families.

"My husband and I make over $200,000 a year, and even our son has the swine flu," said one tearful mother from Nevada from her son's hospital room, where he is being treated for minor flu-like symptoms. "It just goes to show you that it can happen to anyone."

Her son is expected to make a full recovery, but will live the rest of his life with a complete immunity to future swine flu outbreaks.

Nonetheless, it appears that most of the country -- and almost certainly you -- is headed for a bleak future. Spalding detailed what U.S. citizens may expect in the near future.

"First we'll lose the cities," he said. "Los Angeles, New York, Chicago. Then the flu will hit the schools, killing off our children. Once the urban areas have been ravaged by zombies and looted by African-Americans, the suburbs will be hit. Eventually, all human life will be snuffed out, and the virus will jump to the next most delicious meat. Probably dolphin."

Many Americans expressed outrage that it turned out to be swine flu, not the popular-yet-ineffective avian flu from distant past, which will bring about the apocalypse.

"We were told for years, 'Not enough flu vaccines for bird flu!' or 'More Chinamen died from bird flu!'," said Palm Beach, FL resident Daniel Flowers. "And now it's 'swine flu' this and 'pig whatever' that? These scientists should get real jobs."




He who rules the underground, rules the city above.
trent 

I'm Trent! Get Bent!


Location: Drainwhale hunting
Gender: Male
Total Likes: 9 likes


Not on UER anymore.

 |  |  | infinitedecay
Re: Swine Flu
< Reply # 2 on 4/28/2009 1:50 PM >
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He who rules the underground, rules the city above.
butrphly 


Location: Connecticut
Gender: Female
Total Likes: 0 likes




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Re: Swine Flu
< Reply # 3 on 4/29/2009 8:50 PM >
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Posted on Forum: UER Forum
I'm glad i have my zombie survival kit ready to go!




We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
T. S. Eliot
rainman8889 


Location: H.T.S.F.C. Time to gain and a time to lose.
Total Likes: 26 likes


Bye for now.

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Re: Swine Flu
< Reply # 4 on 4/29/2009 9:11 PM >
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Posted on Forum: UER Forum
Posted by butrphly
I'm glad i have my zombie survival kit ready to go!


Me too! Pretty darned long list!

http://www.uer.ca/...d=1&threadid=59411



[last edit 4/29/2009 9:12 PM by rainman8889 - edited 1 times]

Gone for a while. Be back when I'm back.
trent 

I'm Trent! Get Bent!


Location: Drainwhale hunting
Gender: Male
Total Likes: 9 likes


Not on UER anymore.

 |  |  | infinitedecay
Re: Swine Flu
< Reply # 5 on 5/1/2009 4:45 PM >
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OMG, coincidentally this is no joke!
This really is a Zombie outbreak per the BBC.

Time for DEFCON 5.


FTA:
There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in London due to mutation of the H1N1 virus into new strain: H1Z1.

Similar to a scare originally found in Cambodia back in 2005, victims of a new strain of the swine flu virus H1N1 have been reported in London.

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it’s victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”





He who rules the underground, rules the city above.
Ardamass 


Location: Dallas Tx
Gender: Female
Total Likes: 11 likes


Coming to a Drain near you

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Re: Swine Flu
< Reply # 6 on 5/1/2009 8:59 PM >
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Posted on Forum: UER Forum
Posted by trent
OMG, coincidentally this is no joke!
This really is a Zombie outbreak per the BBC.

Time for DEFCON 5.


FTA:



Say What????

somebody must of hacked the site or something




http://ardamass.deviantart.com/
http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?ardamass
Ikky 


Location: In Transit
Gender: Both
Total Likes: 4 likes


^ROLAND LOOK HERE^

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Re: Swine Flu
< Reply # 7 on 5/7/2009 7:14 AM >
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Posted on Forum: UER Forum
I

FUCKING

CALLED

IT



[last edit 5/8/2009 6:49 AM by Ikky - edited 1 times]

I make love the same way I resolve arguments. With my fists.
SaraBellum 

Berkshire Hunt


Location: Villa Villekulla
Gender: Female
Total Likes: 16 likes


Coming to a cinema near you this summer.

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Re: Swine Flu
< Reply # 8 on 5/8/2009 5:39 AM >
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Posted on Forum: UER Forum
Posted by trent
OMG, coincidentally this is no joke!
This really is a Zombie outbreak per the BBC.

Time for DEFCON 5.


FTA:



The url for that site isn't the BBC's, it's for bouncewith.me.uk.




[01:47:56] <GreyDeath> Sara just stares her enemies into submission and eventually madness

"You can either be wise or a bad-ass gangsta, but not both. You must choose your path." ~~metawaffle
metawaffle 

King of Puns


Location: Brisbane!
Gender: Male
Total Likes: 19 likes


Purveyor of Fine Lampshades

 |  |  | longexposure.net
Re: Swine Flu
< Reply # 9 on 5/8/2009 6:04 AM >
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Posted on Forum: UER Forum
Posted by SaraBellum


The url for that site isn't the BBC's, it's for bouncewith.me.uk.


Way to spoil the fun, Sara!




http://www.longexposure.net
UER Forum > Private Boards Index > Zombies > Swine Flu (Viewed 2482 times)


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