"I took a bottle of pills when I found the photographs of them together. But instead of dying, I pooped all over our bed, which is a funnier story in the long run." - http://www.asofter....com/worrisome.jpg









America's Longest Rap Sheet? http://www.monkeyg...earl/rapsheet.html



If you like, I can post more.

Posted by Swiffer If you like, I can post more.

You know you want to

MOAR

moar boxxy dog too

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism -- to steal from many is research.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

I have a map of the United States, life size. 1 mile equals 1 mile. It's a bitch to fold it.

Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?"

What's another word for Thesaurus?

SOURCE: http://www.toinspi...%20quotations.html

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Amount spent each year in Europe and the United States on pet food: $17 billion

Cost per year to achieve basic health and nutrition for the entire world: $13 billion

Amount spent on perfumes each year: $12 billion

Clean water for all the world: $9 billion

Amount spent on cosmetics in the US: $8 billion

Basic education for the world’s children: $6 billion

Total amount the US spends on Christmas each year: $450 billion (or 16 years worth of food, water, and education for the world)

Initial cost of the US Government bailout of failing financial institutions: $700 billion (or 25 years worth of food, water, and education for the world)

Coming to grips with the alarming disconnects of our consumerist society: Priceless

(Credit to: http://www.thesemi...al-id-like-to-see/)