I know that marriage takes work but mine is a second job. I get up this morning before he leaves for work and get an ear full. Ripping my head off because he does not like the way the house looks right now. I will admit it is not like I normally keep it but I have been so busy with working 12 night shifts and my 2nd job. Our daughter graduated this last week and I have had 9 doctors appointments in the last 2 weeks. He does nothing to help me. I do all the cleaning, cooking, laundry, dishes, shopping, take care of the pool and work 2 jobs.

The plan was to get up early today on my day off (6am instead of 7:30) get everything done, meet him at the door with a BJ and BBQ dinner. Now I just don't want to do any of it. I will of course but..... Sometimes when I hear what my friends and co-workers do I feel like I am doing it all alone. I work with all guys and they are always talking about how they shop, cook, clean and what not. I married The Leave It to Beaver dad.

Yes. Yes you did. I've never had any girlfriend of mine regularly cook, clean, shop or support me in any other way other than being there beside me as I sleep. I think it's incredibly unfortunate that so many men feel that women still have some kind of "role" to play in a relationship. I believe that you give what you get, you get what you give.

Looking back I should have put my foot down a long time ago. Help out or this place will turn to a shithole and you eat Ramen Noodles.

He sounds just like my ex husband. Not until we divorced did he actually say to me "Wow - I didn't realize just how much you did around here". And that didn't include the kids.

Maybe you can get him on a day when he's feeling receptive and talk to him about it. Take a day and actually keep a chart of what you did and how long it took you to do it. Then remind him that this is your schedule EVERY DAY!

If he has any decency he should understand. Unless he's one of those "Cooking, cleaning and laundry are a WOMANS work". Then you may have a problem.

Good luck and keep us posted!

I have tried that. He is just a toad. As I get older blame turns to shame. I should have never let it get this far. Pathetic how I did not stand up for myself sooner. Every time I get serious about leaving something happens, money issues, job layoff, my son passing away. Not sure how I can be so tough about other things and not when it comes to telling him to fuck far off in a field.

Talk before it becomes resentment (on both sides), and if resentment is already in place- talk about that, honestly. Don't allow yourself to be brow beaten, but yeah- understand there is a lot of give and take, and things will likely never be equal. But you do deserve more help/credit.

Worst comes to worst, start burning/undercooking his food and mixing colors into his whites in the laundry. Nothing says "appreciate your fucking significant other's ability to be awesome" like salmonella.

Yeah, there is never a good time to leave when you have a family. I filed for divorce on Christmas Eve day!

How about seperating? Nothing says "you don't know what you've got till its gone" like being seperated. Maybe then he can come back with a new appreciation for you and maybe you can start putting your foot down with some positive results.

It certainly is hard to teach an old dog new tricks. But I think you may kill your dog if he doesn't learn anything new and fast!

If he's one of those guys who absolutely, without a doubt, won't ever change, you may have to make some hard decisions.

BTW - so sorry about your son

Thanks guys for letting me rant separating is a very good idea. So is backing off, Hydro your suggestions are very good. I will have a talk with him tonight about all of this. I have backed off on what I normally do in the last few weeks because I have been soooo busy. Maybe if I approach it with a nicely put "it would not have gotten beyond your liking if you had pitched in and helped a bit speech."

I don't really have anything to contribute, as I agree with pretty much all of the advice that's already been given, but you have my support, and I hope that things turn out okay for you.

Posted by hydrotherapy T Worst comes to worst, start burning/undercooking his food and mixing colors into his whites in the laundry.

I turned my fiancés white work shirts pink way too many times. Solution: I no longer do the laundry, he does!

I grew up watching my Mother own a business, work part-time, work her ass off doing all the housework, all the yard work, maintaining the pool, and still always had to have dinner on the table every night as my lazy Step-Dick did NOTHING! The only thing he was good at was sitting on his ass and working at his business part-time. Hell, My Mom and family basically supported his ass. anyways, Watching this as a child, I refused to allow myself to end up in the same situation.

Everything in our house is done 50/50. Thank God, I have an awesome guy!


Sign up for Wife swap! haha He'll be kissing your ass in no time.

OMG - Wife Swap!!!!! That is a GREAT idea.

Really . . . . it is

He would be humble in a heartbeat.