Add any others you might have...
ACURA:
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America

AMC:
All Makes Combined
A Major Cost
A Mutated Car
A Morons Car
Another Major Catastrophe
Atrocious Mechanized Crap

AUDI:
Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Automobile Under Demonic Influence
Automobile Unfortunately Devaluates Immediately
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.

BMW:
Big Mormon Wagon
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Break My Windshield
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Beastly Monstrous Wonder
Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Barely Moving Wreck
Big Money Waste
Big Money. Why?
Big Money Works
Born Moderately Wealthy

Bowel Movement Windjammer
Breaks Most Wrenches
Bring More Wrenches
Brings Me Women
Brings More Women
Broken Money Waster
Broke My Wallet
Broken Monstrous Wonder
Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
Broke Man Walking
Bavarian Meat Wagon

BUICK:
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King

CHEVROLET:
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques

DODGE:
Drips Oil & Drops Grease Everywhere
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Dead Old Dog Going East
Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
Dear Old Dads Garage Experiment
Daily Overhauls Do Get Expensive

EDSEL:
Every Day Something Else Leaks

FERRARI:
Fantastically Expensive, Rarely Runs And Ridiculously Italian

FIAT:
Failed Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It Again, Tony!
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation

FORD:
Frigin' Old Rebuilt Dodge
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
First On Race Day
First On Recall Day
Fabricated Of Refried Dung
Fails On Rainy Days
Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream
Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
Fault Of R&D
Finally Obsolete Racing Device
Fireball On Rear Denting
First On Road to Dump
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Recycle Dilemma
Flipping Over Results in Death
Flipped Over Roadside Disaster
Follow Our Rusty Dogsled
Foot On Road Decelerates
Forced On Reluctant Drivers
Formed Of Rejected DNA
Forwarded Once; Return Denied
Forward Only; Reverse Defective
Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin
Fork Over Repair Dough
Fouled Out Re-done Dodge
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration
Free Or Reduced Drastically
Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable
Funny Old Rattling Dump
(backwards) Driver Returns On Foot

GEO:
Good Engineering Overlooked

GM:
General Maintenance
Great Mistake
Garbage Motors
Generally Miserable
Grossly Misconceived
Gluteus Maximus

GMC:
Garage Man's Companion
Gotta Mechanic Coming?
Generally Mediocre Cars
Get More Chicks
Gets Mechanics Crazy
Gods Mechanical Curse Get More Cash
Got More Crap
Government Motors Corp.
Great Mountain Climber
Great Motor Car

GTO:
Gas, Tires, Oil

HONDA:
Had One Never Did Again
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Hallmark Of Non-Descript Automobiles
Hallmark Of Non-Destructable Automobiles

HYUNDAI:
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...

HUMMER
Huge Undeveloped Machine Manifests Exspensive Repairs.

JEEP:
Just Eats Every Part
Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
Just Empty Every Pocket

LOTUS:
Leaks Oil, Thorough Upgrade Soon

MAZDA:
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

MG:
Mechanized Garbage
Money Guzzler

MGB:
Might Go Backwards
Most Gears Broken

MGF:
Might Go Forward

MIATA:
My Intention: Always To Accelerate

MOPAR:
Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly
Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
Most Often Passed At Races
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Move Over People Are Racing
Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly
My Old Pig Ain't Running
My Only Problems Are Repairs

MUSTANG:
Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good

OLDSMOBILE:
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

PINTO:
Put In Nickel To Operate
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook

PLYMOUTH:
Please Leave Your Money Out Under The Hood

PONTIAC:
Poor Old Numbskull Thinks Its A Cadillac

PORSCHE:
Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything

SAAB:
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Sorry Auto, Always Broken
Shape Appears Ass-Backwards

SUBARU:
Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually

TOYOTA:
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass
The One You Ought To Avoid

TRIUMPH:
This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!

VOLVO:
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW:
Virtually Worthless

Ford: Fault Of Repairman's Death
Oldsmobile: Old Ladies Driving Slowly, Making Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday

Okay, I had to think hard to think up this.


Cobalt: Can't Outperform Beetles- Always Lose Transmission.

Impala : I May Purchase A Lada Again
Tercel: Terrific Except Rust, Check Engine Light
Beetle: Burnt Electrical, Engine Tired, Leaks Enough

Nissan - Now It's Stuck. Send Another Nissan.

KIA
KOREAN IKEA AUTOMOBILE
KOREAN IMITATION AUTOMOBILE


TOYOTA PRIUS HYBRID

THERMOPLASTICS
ON
YOUR
OVERPRICED
TOY
ACCOMMODATES
PETROLEUM
REALLY
INEXPENSIVLY
UNTIL
SUDDENLY
HYPERMILING
YOU
BARREL
RIGHT
INTO (a)
DEER

Ford: Failed On Race Day

IROC = Italian Retard Out Cruising

I remembered that one from SNL.

Posted by bandi Okay, I had to think hard to think up this. Cobalt: Can't Outperform Beetles- Always Lose Transmission.

Fail.

HYUNDAI- How Young Ugly Nerds Drive An Import
HONDA- Hold On Nearly Done Accelerating
BUICK- Big Ugly Import Car Killer
KIA- Kill It Already

Ford:
Found On Road Dead
Found On Road Dying

Toyota has named their next car
The Tuurecal
Because it's a companywide goal to build something that has under three recalls issued.

IROC - It Runs On Cologne

Ferraille
Ordures
Rebuts
Dechets

all french words for trash

SATURN - Same American Trash Under Revised Name

ISUZU - Is So Underpowered, Zooming Unlikely

JEEP
Just Expect Endless Problems
Journey Eventually Ends Perpendicularly

Posted by Agent Skelly IROC = Italian Retard Out Cruising I remembered that one from SNL.

LOL, a Guidomobile, missed that episode.

FIAT: Fires In All Temperatures.

BSA: Bastard Starts Again. (Birmingham Small Arms)

SKODA: Stolen Kommunist Operational Device Arrives/Attacks (Fail on the K, yah I'm tired)

They made guns too, like so many of the industrial companies back then.

CHEVROLET: Condition Hopeless, Entire Vehicle Relies On Leftover Engine Technology

F.U.C.K.

Ford's, Unitized, Construction, Kills.

Are there any cars designed, engineered and built in Canada?

How about chaparral or Lola? Or some other Can Am racer?

MACK

Mr Assholes Car Killer

Major Accident Causing Killer

Posted by cr400 F.U.C.K. Ford's, Unitized, Construction, Kills. Are there any cars designed, engineered and built in Canada? How about chaparral or Lola? Or some other Can Am racer?

Umm... the Bricklin

and the Manic GT.

And some 90 year old Mclaughlin stuff.

Posted by MrMusik Ford: Found On Road Dead Found On Road Dying

Can't forget:

Four Old Rusty Doors

Posted by TheVicariousVadder Toyota has named their next car The Tuurecal Because it's a companywide goal to build something that has under three recalls issued.

Is that per month or per year?