well, i got a chance to look over what I am calling The Replacement killer, a 1996 Chevrolet Beretta coupe.
The long and the short of it:

1996 Beretta
manual windows
power locks
cruise
tilt
A/C
Tape deck (lol)
3100 V6
4speed automatic
82,000 miles
Body is outstanding for a car that is 14 years old
underneath is solid, brake lines, fuel lines are corrosion free
interior is a bit scuzzy... whoever had it smoked and drank coffee. It will need a righteous detail.
the head gasket is blown... i have the milkshake in my engine. For those of you who have never had a head gasket blow, basically, it turns the oil to a frothy mess. When I did start the engine cold, it was quiet. Usually with a GM 60-degree V6, if they're junk, they'll rattle hard cold, especially with the froth in the pan. This one was quiet, but that will be the last time it's started until the head gaskets are repaired.
i think what is selling me here is the mileage... 82,000 miles is hard to walk away from, especially in the condition the shell of the car is in. My Monte Carlo has almost 176,000 miles on it... just waiting for 'what next'.

Anyways... it's that funky orange/maroon with a gray interior

You shouldnt even mess with a car thats been smoked in. Thats just dirty.

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Posted by big dave You shouldnt even mess with a car thats been smoked in. Thats just dirty. http://orangecount...to/1424613291.html http://inlandempir...to/1405689020.html http://losangeles....to/1447292797.html http://losangeles....to/1439441259.html

A car from the average smoker is a pretty easy cleanup. However, if the guy was Joe Camel's best friend, then its going to be dirty.

Posted by Samurai Anyways... it's that funky orange/maroon with a gray interior

Like this one?
http://cgi.ebay.co...ash=item53ddd44b14

Sounds pretty nice Sam. I'm with u on the miles. Less shit that is wore out. Lol yeah the "special sause" in there can eat up some bearings. Good thing its quiet. Hell even if you needed a whole engine they arnt too hard to come by. Atleast in the south. I must say I never understood GM and its power doorlock but manual window fetish. My moms Grand Am was the same way.

i'm still on the fence... there is that old saying about the devil you know being better than the devil you don't.
from all accounts, the car has never been beat on. I talked to people at work who knew the owners and it was one of those cars that was serviced religiously. However, under the hood could use a mild douching. I don't know... has the Monte Carlo really given me reason to get rid of it? And what if this Beretta turns out to be a lemon? I mean, my track record with cars that I have actually bought is pretty shaky these past couple of years.

on top of that, I am supposed to pick up the truck I bought off my father and I really don't have room in the yard for it... it's feast or famine with cars, i swear.

Drive the truck while you swap a motor into the Monte, I can tell you love it.
You won't be as happy with the Baretta. Plus it has the same problem your tryin' to get away from.

this evening I had my brother, Mr. Goodwrench himself, look over the Beretta. He got out from under the car and whispered 'take it while you can.' The car is in better shape than he imagined. Also, after him looking at it, hearing it run and check stuff that he checks for a head gasket, he's not convinced that the head gasket has failed at all. He's gunning towards intake gasket. SO... i traded my 176,000 mile Monte Carlo for an 82,000 mile Beretta.

I hate to say this, being that I just got it, but I really like this car. The seats are rip and fade free. The carpet is not heavily stained. It still has the factory floormats. The console just needs a little cleaning. HOWEVER... I do want to hook a tach up to it and I am pretty much lost on how to do it with a Beretta.
Anyways, I'll have some pics up tomorrow of it. I might even wash it if the weather/temperature co-operates.

Is it coil on plug or just a single coil? If single coil should be easy aftermarket. Or if ur like me find a junkyard one with the full gage package. Many times all the wires and harness are there. Just need to be plug into sumthin. Food for thought.

Posted by jeepdave Is it coil on plug or just a single coil? If single coil should be easy aftermarket. Or if ur like me find a junkyard one with the full gage package. Many times all the wires and harness are there. Just need to be plug into sumthin. Food for thought.

i did that with my 98 Cavalier... I had the base cluster with just the temp gage, i bought the cluster out of a similar vintage Z24.

Posted by Samurai i did that with my 98 Cavalier... I had the base cluster with just the temp gage, i bought the cluster out of a similar vintage Z24.

Sweet. Do they bitch about odometers in NY? What I mean is do you have to get an exempt title if you swap em. I have heard some states do that. Hope it works out man. I'd like to see a Beretta build

Posted by jeepdave Sweet. Do they bitch about odometers in NY? What I mean is do you have to get an exempt title if you swap em. I have heard some states do that. Hope it works out man. I'd like to see a Beretta build

what Der Empire State don't know... hehehe
My Cavalier went from 117,000 miles to 49,000 miles in just a matter of 20 minutes. It was like magic! ;)

Posted by Samurai what Der Empire State don't know... hehehe My Cavalier went from 117,000 miles to 49,000 miles in just a matter of 20 minutes. It was like magic! ;)

Lol Sam you would fit in down south sooooo well. Good deal man. I'm bad about upgrading my shit with options it didn't come with. Who knows maybe you can find one of those performance model Berettas in a yard and nab some sweet suspension goodies or other xtras. Do yall have pic-ur-part type places up there? Or is everything so rusted its pointless?

Posted by jeepdave Lol Sam you would fit in down south sooooo well. Good deal man. I'm bad about upgrading my shit with options it didn't come with. Who knows maybe you can find one of those performance model Berettas in a yard and nab some sweet suspension goodies or other xtras. Do yall have pic-ur-part type places up there? Or is everything so rusted its pointless?

There's a few good U-Pull-It places in his neck of the woods that were pretty good when I lived there.

And Samarui tried the south...

Posted by Agent Skelly There's a few good U-Pull-It places in his neck of the woods that were pretty good when I lived there. And Samarui tried the south...

Glad yall got those up there. Lol I know he did. TN I think right?

Posted by Samurai this evening I had my brother, Mr. Goodwrench himself, look over the Beretta. He got out from under the car and whispered 'take it while you can.' The car is in better shape than he imagined. Also, after him looking at it, hearing it run and check stuff that he checks for a head gasket, he's not convinced that the head gasket has failed at all. He's gunning towards intake gasket. SO... i traded my 176,000 mile Monte Carlo for an 82,000 mile Beretta. I hate to say this, being that I just got it, but I really like this car. The seats are rip and fade free. The carpet is not heavily stained. It still has the factory floormats. The console just needs a little cleaning. HOWEVER... I do want to hook a tach up to it and I am pretty much lost on how to do it with a Beretta. Anyways, I'll have some pics up tomorrow of it. I might even wash it if the weather/temperature co-operates.

Hun...I hate to say I told you so...but...I told you so.

My best friend in college had one and we had a lot of good luck and good times in that car and the damn thing was unkillable with the hell we put it through.

Let's just say...the bitch couldn't drive, I mean REALLY SERIOUSLY couldn't drive. That poor 1992 Beretta suffered a sad end...she wrecked it on I-81 during a thunderstorm just north of Syracuse. Hit a guard rail and flipped it twice. But, with as much damage as it suffered, she walked away with only a broken arm/wrist. Literally walked away from the car to flag down someone passing by.

So, maybe your luck is changing, once Mr. Miserable the Mechanic gets around to fixing it.

Shael

The Beretta is home now. My brother worked on it and found that the intake gasket was indeed blown out of it. Had to change the oil a couple of times and do an engine flush to remove the coolant-oil cocktail from the crankcase. I picked it up tonite and side from having no heat, the car is a joy. It definitely feels well taken car of...

some issues on the cleanup... had to evict two mice from the trunk, found 6 inches of water in the spare tire well, had to bail out spare tire well and air out the trunk carpeting. I vacuumed out the interior, shampooed the carpets and mats and shined up the vinyl... this is a $3500 car on a used car lot. There is no rust on the doors, trunk lid, trunk itself. The inner fenders are in good condition, floorpan is solid and scab free, brake and fuel lines are still rust free. Brakes are coming back nicely (the car sat for 4 months), even the ebrake works.
the downside is the car has no heat. It's a bit chilly driving it this time of year. My brother feels that either the thermostat is stuck open (as a result of the coolant-oil cocktail) or the heater core is plugged (again, because of the nasty). All of this is easily rectified. Other than that, I am much happier with this car than the Monte Carlo.

Pics to follow tomorrow.

Burnout pics please.

Posted by big dave Burnout pics please.

no.
the 3100/4speed auto in these cars were geared differently... the car feels more tuned for torque than blistering acceleration. It creeps speed all the time. I found on its shakedown cruise last night that I had to constantly watch the speedometer.

as promised... a pic of my Beretta after I just washed to assess what it needed bodywise.
It could use a rear bumper, it needs to have the Hilary Clinton and John Kerry stickers taken off of it as well as that goddamn VT sticker.

other than, some paint and this car is cherry.