OK, need some input, here is the situation:

The wife and I had decided that due to economic circumstances and general not needing anything that we would not get presents for one another this year. We would still do the children and parents etc. I come to find out last weekend that she got me something. She let me in on it because she knew that I would not like the 'surprise' on Christmas morning. I probably did not handle the situation as well as I could have mostly because I don't like the fact that we had a plan for over 6 weeks or so and at the last moment it gets changed and I need to scramble. The wife said that I don't need to reciprocate but I would feel awkward in knowing that I was going to get something and I did not have anything to give in return.

Thoughts?

it's a romantic gesture, to love the other person recklessly and feel compelled to express that love even if it has a financial consequence.

yes, you need to reciprocate. if you don't she'll hang onto it for years.

when you reciprocate, do it with a happy heart and not grudgingly. let her feel that reckless love.

Posted by jacunda OK, need some input, here is the situation: The wife and I had decided that due to economic circumstances and general not needing anything that we would not get presents for one another this year. We would still do the children and parents etc. I come to find out last weekend that she got me something. She let me in on it because she knew that I would not like the 'surprise' on Christmas morning. I probably did not handle the situation as well as I could have mostly because I don't like the fact that we had a plan for over 6 weeks or so and at the last moment it gets changed and I need to scramble. The wife said that I don't need to reciprocate but I would feel awkward in knowing that I was going to get something and I did not have anything to give in return. Thoughts?

plan a little get away for you two, even if its only for the day/evening.
have a nice dinner out, get flowers, give her a massage and "treat her like a princess".

fuck reciprocating. you said no to gifts many weeks ago and she decided to go against what you'd agreed. if she is going to be pissy about it still, that's too fucking bad for her. say what you mean, mean what you say.

Posted by Stewie say what you mean, mean what you say.

i totally live by this rule.
but keep in mind the older women especially married women are way different the younger women. they don't take situations like this so lightly, sometimes they say the opposite of what they mean- just to be a bitch because they can...
when YOU are married they have YOU by the balls.

when it come to his wife- he could be sleeping on the couch or in the dog house for something so stupid.

man, i'm glad i bought her that ring just to shut her up!

Well, my particular situation...

I spent a little too much getting something he really wanted and something I knew he'd love. Mostly because I really didn't do anything for his birthday and it's a part for the one thing that I know makes him truly happy. So, I bought it, fuck it. It's only money.

He got a little bit upset when I told him what I bought. Mostly I told him because I don't want to get him something that he wouldn't really want. Also, I was kind of proud of myself because I found it and was able to get it without help, since it's something kind of esoteric. We didn't promise we wouldn't buy presents for each other and I know he can't really afford to spend the same as I did on me. I hope I got my point across that it's not what's in the box that matters to me, it's that he spent the time to go get it and that it's from him.

Maybe I'm different from everyone else, but I get more out of giving a gift than I get out of getting one. Sure, it's nice, but that's not the way I was raised and that's not the way I live my life.

I'm guessing that's the way she is too. She enjoys the idea of giving more than receiving.

Get her flowers or something, whatever you can afford, I'm sure she'll love it just the same. I know I would.

Shael

Thank you all for your feedback.

Forgive my bitterness but I fixed your post for you:

Posted by logtec i totally live by this rule. but keep in mind the older women especially married women are way different the younger women. they don't take situations like this so lightly, sometimes they [often] say the opposite of what they mean- [so that you can prove just how much you love them and how well you know them, to instill faith in their naturally insecure hearts] just to be a bitch because they can... when YOU are married they have YOU by the balls. when it come to his wife- he could be [dead]sleeping on the couch or in the dog house for something [she told him to do, but he should have known by instinct to not listen to her and just get a present anyways. but if he had, then she would have said "you never listen to me"] so stupid. man, i'm glad i bought her that ring just to shut her up!

Posted by Neo Forgive my bitterness but I fixed your post for you:

dude, for some reason you seam to think you're a champion wordsmith or something...

-write your own stupid "trying to be witty" remarks somewhere else, nobody cares for your foolishness.

"so forgive my bitterness, to people who think they are trying to help with their stupid imput"...

nice head, whats in the bag- Neo?
don't reply to this til you have the balls to go in to "active sites"...

Posted by logtec dude, for some reason you I seam to think you're I a champion wordsmith can write or something... -write your own stupid "trying to be witty" remarks somewhere else, I forget that nobody cares for your foolishness. about me. "so forgive my bitterness, to people who think they are trying to help with their stupid imput"...

Forgive my bitterness, but I fixed it for you. Except for imput and seam. I left them broken.

Posted by MindHacker Forgive my bitterness, but I fixed it for you. Except for imput and seam. I left them broken.

i see your point but i still think your an idiot.
it must be nice to be free of the burden of intelligence.

"ohhh no, theres snow in my shoe!"

Keep in mind that personal attacks will not be tolerated guys, so chill out.

If you wanna fight with each other, take it to PM's.

I was going to reply but the OP started the thread 12/21 and Christmas is now over.

How did it work out?

Well damn, I should've read the date of the last post before opening my mouth eh. Lol, woops!

Posted by Esoterik I was going to reply but the OP started the thread 12/21 and Christmas is now over. How did it work out?

Everything worked out in the end. Thanks again!