This is long, and about a friendship, which I consider a relationship.

Quick background info:

I lived in my mother's huge storage closet at her apt. for a year. My parents got divorced, my dad kicked me out when I had just turned 18 and left me without a penny, and I went to welfare. A year later, my mom met my step dad, they got an apt, and I moved into storage rather than stay on welfare. I got 2 jobs and started saving money to move. Getting my own apartment and living alone is the biggest accomplishment of my life and I'm proud of it.

Both girls in this story are name Jen so I'm going to call one Nancy to avoid confusion.

I was friends with Jen for over ten years. I graduated highschool two years before her and she started hanging out with Nancy at school. I had a social one day after they had known each other for maybe..a year? And Jen brought Nancy along. We became friends.

Right after I met Nancy she stopped hanging out with this friend of hers, Corinna. She was a total bitch and REALLY REALLY immature, and I thought it was great Nancy realized this. I had nothing to do with her decision to stop being friends with this girl, but I think I almost became the 'replacement best friend' We hung out all the time, almost daily for six months.

My time frame is a little messed, but after we were friends for quite a while Nancy cheated on her boyfriend and left him for another guy.

Guy #2 gets her pregnant like a month into the relationship. She tells me immediately, and I'm like..omg noooooo.. there goes your whole life. She was 19, he was 18, and she made practically no money and both lived at home. They got engaged, moved into a shitty little apartment, and didn't tell their parents for three months that she was pregnant.

Nancy asked me to be the godmother. I'm ecstatic, saying yeah of course, you're my best friend and I'd love to be there for your child.

I start working crazy extended hours. I'm not into clubbing so I don't hang out with Jen much because that's her thing and I always have work in the morning. I stop hanging out with Nancy because she basically just stops contacting me - I figure she's pretty busy with the pregnancy so I think, whatever. I'm so busy with life I have no time to hang out anyways.

I start getting messages on my facebook wall. Nancy leaves me one "you don't call us anymore. what the fuck?" I was offended she didn't just text me and say "hi it's been a while, what's up?" since when is it just my fault that two people don't communicate anymore? It's fifty-fifty in my opinion. I talk to them more, and end up moving out on my own Nancy never wanted to come to my new place, always had an excuse not to. She started hanging out with Corinna again. I lost all respect for her after that and basically stopped talking to her- the things Corinna did were terrible, and I couldn't believe she'd crawl back to her.

Nancy has the baby and doesn't tell me. I'm not surprised but I am offended. I always still considered her to be a friend, she had never really done anything to me, I just wanted to distance myself while she was hanging out with Corinna. I found out four days later on facebook she had a son.

Nancy invited me to her sons baby shower. I am livid. She didn't even call to tell me he was born and she expects me to come buy a gift for him. I told her flat out I thought that was dirty and low. She is upset apparently but at this point I don't care and write her off as a friend.

She sends me messages on msn a while after saying it was a stupid argument and things were misconstrued and she wasn't trying to use me, she just wanted my friendship. I think, okay, she was hormonal and crazy, everybody deserves to be given a chance. I talk to her once after that then she doesn't contact me again. I forget all about it.

She writes on my facebook wall again "wtf you never talk to us anymore" I think okay, this is immature and retarded, I've barely talked to her the whole time she was pregnant, she didn't tell me my supposed god child was born and she's being a bitch again. wtf. I tell her I saw no reason to talk to her and that I was removing her from facebook so she couldn't continue to write these things on my wall. She said I got a boyfriend and ditched her. I thought that was immature as well as 'ditching' is such a fifth grade concept to me. I have a life, and I only see my boyfriend twice a month, so that obviously wasn't the reason I stopped hanging out with her.

She said "fine then, go run off and have your great life with your new friends and just ditch us all."
I asked her to be mature about this and she says "why do you think you're better than me?"
I was floored, as I've honestly never thought this. I just don't need drama in my life. Every time I tried to talk to her all she ever said was "you don't hang out with us anymore" I'm sorry, but it wasn't in my interest to go to the mall and act like a girly girl and bring her baby along. She never wanted to do any of my hobbies, like exploring, and spent a lot of money I just didn't have to spend on frivolous things. And I hate shopping.

I really honestly thought this was one of the first girls I could really be friends with (besides Jen, who still talks to me whenever I get a chance)
Am I being totally crazy or am I right? Was she really not that great of a friend? It seems more important to her that I hung out rather than made money to move out and live a happy life. I am thrilled now- I have a few good friends, I'm moving with my boyfriend in six months to Ontario and I LOVE work right now, even though I'm there seven days a week.

Did I overreact? I don't feel like I did, but to this day it kind of bugs me. I'm not too sure why.

no, imho you didn.t overreact. However, emotions are hard to follow over internet with ppl you don't know well - and I think you know the "old" N well, but she's so changed that you don't know her now.

Having to decide to write someone off as a friend hurts. Last year, I've lost 2 of my 3 best friends: my ex broke up, we tried to be good friends but failed, and my 11-year long best friend, I wrote him off for a lot of reasons, partially for having a cause in the breakup - no, he's not her new bf. The 3rd friend was abroad for a year.

You didn't overreact. Girls are stupid. I've always had a really hard time befriending females. I think the only girl I'm really close with is Emma here and another girl that I see maybe once a year. The rest have either backstabbed me horribly, lied about everything, became atrociously catty, etc etc. When I was a kid I was always picked on by girls so I guess thats why. So anyway... drop her. She seems useless and not worth your trouble.

Over time circumstances change, peoples lives change, and as a result people change. As much as you don't want to do it, sometimes you have to let people go.

Who knows, maybe they'll change in the future for the better, and you'll befriend them again.

I admit I only have 1 lady friend and she now lives 4 hours away. I personally cannot stand women. It's good you acted the way you did. Don't let people walk all over you.

I have the feeling that in UER, or at least in the relationship forum, quite a lot of people mostly friend people of the opposite sex because they feel more comfortable with it...

Thanks for all the input guys I feel better about my decision. I've also realized keeping in touch with my good friends is very important and I've contacted quite a few people in the last few days I haven't spoken to in a while. It's nice to see they are the same as I - they don't feel any more distant because we haven't spoken for a while, and now we have a lot of catching up to do which means a lot of conversation and opportunity to get together.