Okay, so my ex's life isn't going so well for him right now and he is feeling down.

And I want to tell him that after all these years I still love him and I am always there for him if he needs to talk. But I'm not sure he will fully understand that and I don't want to give him false hope.

Should I tell him that people do love him, me included, so should I just lend my ear?

Heres some things to consider:
-we have been broken up for about 3 years
-his mom still tells him that i was the best thing to ever to him and "she was such a nice girl"
-he hasn't been with another person since me, in all senses of the word
-we're an ocean apart
-we still talk about 3 times a week

Before I give any advice, why did you two break up?

A few reasons, but basically he became me.

O.o

Like, stole my personality, the bands i liked he had to like them more and know everything about them, when we first met he was going to be a math/business major, afterwards he caught my love of science. And I turned him onto the punk life style. Also the relationship became incredibly one sided. It was always me going to stay in Wales for extended amounts of time but he only came here once for 3 weeks. I ended up doing a lot of the work, which put way too much stress on me. And he was a home body and i'm worldly. On top of all that, when i was 18/19 he told me "I'm tired of you leaving all the time, you marry me and stay or go home". I was uneducated and couldn't work there, so I came home and now i'm almost done my education.

edit: i have a concussion, i have to proof read 3 times, sorry

I would stay well away from the word love.

Have both of you not grown and matured in three years? Of course you have. Perhaps it is time to tell him. Maybe try again, maybe not...see what the truth does. Sometimes that's all we have.

Posted by MindHacker I would stay well away from the word love.

Agreed - tell him you care about him, without using that word.

thanks everyone.

If you have the means and time, you could go over to him for 2, 3 weeks and see what happens. If you start banging your or his head into walls, then it's a no-no.

I still love my ex (broken up almost a year now), but even if she would want to come back to me, I very much doubt it'd work and therefore I don't want her as my gf anymore.

Tijmen

Posted by Tamara thanks everyone.

I really hope that you sort this out somehow. Let us know how it goes : )

Posted by Dresden Maybe try again, maybe not...see what the truth does. Sometimes that's all we have.

I swear, sometimes you try to sound retarded.

Posted by IIVQ If you have the means and time, you could go over to him for 2, 3 weeks and see what happens. If you start banging your or his head into walls, then it's a no-no. I still love my ex (broken up almost a year now), but even if she would want to come back to me, I very much doubt it'd work and therefore I don't want her as my gf anymore. Tijmen

I'm supposed to go over and visit, have been supposed to for about a year now. His sister and I still talk too, and his family all miss me aswell. Not sure how awkward it would all be, probably not at all for me around his family, but maybe a bit with him.

After all he was my first 'love' and it was a truly pure thing up until (of course) the end where it went down hill. No other relationship I've had even remotely comes near what I had/felt with him. But he's changed so so so much and hasn't really bettered himself at all. I don't really like what he's turned into (a PETA loving perma-culture anarchist vegan) so I don't think there would be any attraction.

I will visit everyone again some day, just can't afford it right now, and I would to talk seriously to him first about it. I think he'd be fine with it. We went to Ireland for xmas after we broke up in november. It wasn`t really awkward and nothing happened.

the xmas trip was in 2006 btw, i realised the sentence sounds current.