anyone care to share there story about the big "D".

mine is called "lost"
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i met my exwife in 1986. we went to hischool together and after that her parents moved back to detroit. we spent a few years apart but visited eachother alot. she moved in with me in 1993. we married in 1998. her job had her traveling alot. in may of 1999. she missed the closing on our house? WTF?! i looked everyplace for her. i finally went to sleep only to be startled by my landlord and a st. charels co. sherriff. she was in a bad car wreck. hit a bridge support, jaws of life, care flight, etc. fucked herself up really bad. had to learn how to write with her left hand, prolly still needs a cane to walk. spent 2 months in the hospital, 10 months of rehab. 6 or 7 surguries to her leg. nerve damage in her right lower arm. and a new set of front teeth.. no air bag, the motor came into the pass compartment of the acura. est speed was 65 to 75. the look in her eye when i saw her in the er still haunts me in my dreams.

anyhow, after that year. her docter clears her to work again, then we get her a car.... months go by, she has school after work on mondays and thursdays. i get home from work on monday and her notebook is on the coffee table. i have seen her writing in it over the past few years. i picked it up and read it. she cheated ALOT, had a bf in florida and another in texas. i waited thill thursday, met with my boss and he let me "take" a shop kid to help me clean out my/our apartment. i took all my stuff, left the "joint" stuff and took 1/2 of the bank. went to get a lawer and worked out a deal. she was new, $750 if it wasnt a big fight-cashup front. i did all the legwork. my boss (also a lawer) looked over my lawyers stuff and was ok with it. went to serve her, she was gone. 3 months and 3 pi's later, found her car in delaware. days later, got an email from our "aol" account that was conformation of flight reservations from green bay (bf#3?) to delaware. my atty called new castle co. sherriff and the served her on the plane as it was opened at the gate (lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). that was in 2001. no fight from her as i had the book. any time her atty asked for anything, i just faxed a page of her book to him...
i was lost, my atty wanted me to see a shrink, "connie j." nice girl, she normally treated abused children. told me it was ok to get a motorcycle... and to go get a girl... or a few... and on our last sesion, i took her for a ride... my hour was paid for, so i thought it would be ok

havent seen or talked to "shit-face" since that day i cleaned out... not sure how i would handle it if i did see her...

anyhow, thats my story. i wouldnt trade a second of it for what i have now. it just takes time.

cdevon1200

Met my ex-wife trough mutual friends and married after 1.5 years (big mistake), her mother didn't like me and called me a lazy bum (although I worked full time as she was living on a welfare check). After we married things went downhill, my ex didn't want to find a job and only spend money on phone calls to people I didn't even know. Sex went to an absolute zero so I suspected that she was cheating but she was clever enough to hide it. At the end she even had the nerve to take my bankcard and buy xxx outfits that I of course never saw, those were reserved for the many lovers she had. She also stayed over with a "female friend" which I never met. You can guess that this was complete BS. All pieces came nicely together when she accidentally left her mail open with photographs of her and some other older couple, naked of course. This was the thing I needed to force her into a divorce with mutual agreement (I didn't want a layer because it would have cost me a whole lot more of money). So, she reluctantly agreed and I told her to pack her stuff and get the fuck out of my house (the house was bought on my name). I told her that she could take everything with her except my CD's, Computer, TV and my fridge. She did take everything except those things and she left the next day. Six months later we were officially divorced and me, my sister (which my ex hated) and a couple of friends celebrated the joyful event.

She was by far the worst partner I ever had. Luckily I had a good relationship after my ex which lasted 6 years. That relationship ended a few weeks ago unfortunately but I'm still friends with that girl because unlike my ex wife she was always honest with me and didn't screw around.

But for the grace of God, there go I. Seriously, you are sound better off out of the poisonous relationships you were in, good work. I would have fallen apart.

cdevon - I was wondering what made you write about this after what appears to be such a long period of time??

And with that being said, I suppose I'll share . . . .

I met my ex 15 years ago. We married after dating for 6 years. We both had really good jobs and our house was paid off. We bought lots of "toys" and before we divorced, we were looking at vacation property.

After about 5 years of marriage, I started getting collection calls for various debts and my ex always said "I don't know why they are calling, I'll take care of it". Next thing you know, his jet-ski is being repossessed, and I come home one day to our electricity being shut off. When I tried to write a check to have them turned on, it wouldn't clear and I had to use my credit card. Our physical life turned to shit too so of course I thought he was having an affair.

What was really happening is that he was addicted to prescription pain meds. He was spending about $250/day on the shit, and that was taking his entire paycheck.

I got him onto the suboxone program and things seemed to get better for a while. But then he started acting really strange. He was never home, and was totally paranoid all the time. Figured he was just back into "something" and I started trying to piece things together. I found out he was having an affair with a crack head; so the paranoia was from the affair, and the rest of the whacked out behavior was because he was smoking crack.

I filed for divorce and the guy went completely off his rocker. His mother had him committed to a hospital/jail for 30 days after he ran around town with a handgun saying he was going to "kill everyone and them himself".

After our divorce, he quit his job (making $125K year) and him and "fuckhead crackpants" lived off his 401K for a while. Neither of them are working and his house is currently in foreclosure. The last of the "toys" is a super duty dump truck and the loan is in my name. He has defaulted on the payments and I'm currently trying to sell it to save my credit, which this loan is completely ruining.

Luckily I found a great guy and have moved on in my life. Just wish the residue from the other one would finally end.

debi. really sorry to hear about your troubles.

drugs... i went drag racing for 5 years- way more fun than drugs... and dabbled in hi-end rc cars for abit have a target rifle habit now ...

i felt the need to share after a similar post on another forum i am a member of.

so to the rest of the "kids" out there...
STAY OFF THE DRUGS- pots ok- just dont get caught:p

It always gets back to money. Folks that lived next to us appeared to be normal, come to find out they are like into to credit cards for 100k, and then she started screwing around. Too much stress, she probably needed an outlet. He went on anti-depressants and lost his boner; they are currently working through the Big D.