So hear me out;

My recent activity in context to dating has been horrible. I went after someone I usually would never of gone after and now I have a girly crush on someone else. The someone else I liked years ago as well but once I knew he wasn't single I quickly packaged that thought away. Can of fucking worms.

The last people I was in a 'relationship' with and was 'serious' about had an accident in which he: died, came back, fell into a coma, and came out of a coma and is now nearly a vegetable. I went and visited him and got my closure, i suppose (it's still painful even though it was a short relationship).

So I'm trying to clear my head and figure out a few things. I think my wrong choice was a matter of me trying to move on, no matter who with. But this second little crush has me confused.

Also I think my more-then-usual want for a partner also is stemming a bit from a love/hate relationship I have with traveling around. I love to travel around and move, but these days I am craving stability and some solid foundations, which a partner would creat for me.

Normally I just deal with shit and not ask for help, however my normal mechanisms aren't working. I think thats stress related.

Thoughts?


edit: grammar and spelling

Sorry to hear about your recent past; sounds like a roller coaster of emotions.

I have wanderlust, too (doesn't everyone on this forum?). Five years in a place and I'm ready for somewhere new. I often feel the same way about people.

I'd recommend looking for people with a similar love for travel, but that might not be what you need. Are you happy with where you're living now, or are you looking to settle somewhere else?

I finish college at the end of april and my lease is up in september. As of then I will be getting out of this hell hole of a city and hopefully living in toronto. Toronto is where most of my current group of friends are and its the centre of the universe. I can go anywhere from there, it's a nice base camp.

I don't want to go to far from this group of friends, I love them. And going back to ottawa after everything that has happened in that city would be emotionally hard, even though one of my best friends lives there.

I move about every two years, it's really a bad habit. And now finishing college, i pretty much have to go where i find a biotech job.



I want to cuddle now. haha

Why do you think your last relationship was a 'wrong choice'? because he's incapacitated now?

Also, why worry about the crush if you've shelved it once before? Are they still with somebody else?

I would take some more time to clear your head - and by that, I mean forget about relationships and just focus on improving your life, being a better you for a month. I did that and then I found Josh - maybe it's what you need too

No i said the last person i went after was a wrong choice. We never ended up together. Sander was not a mistake, not by a long shot.

I'm not dating or seeing anyone, so the whole "i want this shelved" again come from the fac that he's a good friend and I'm pretty sure he's not interested. So I don't want to make an ass of myself (again like last time i acted on a feeling).

I have been bettering myself, actively for about 6 weeks now. Since I got diagnosed the physical changes are visible and i've been improving mentally and emotionally (with some speedbumps) since i shaked my head and what not.

i'm not sure whether you want advice from me or not, but you can take it or leave it.

why do you have this crush? who knows. if he's cute, single, and youre feeling lonesome, it's not hard to imagine. it doesnt really have to be more complicated than that. if he's a good friend, and he's not interested, chances are you'll ruin the friendship if you try anything. but if you think you can live with that, take a run at him and see what happens.

personally i would not try to start anything serious until you get settled in toronto. toronto's not far, and youre getting out there regularly, just keep doing that and keep your eyes and ears open. if you have something casual with a friend here at home it will probably help keep the loneliness down, which will improve your chances of getting in long-term with someone. you seem pretty sharp to me and youre quite nice to look at, the more solid you get with yourself the better things are going to get. i would definitely put-in a good word for you if any of my friends were looking...

Awe thanks for the kind words. It means a lot.

Yah, I've decided just to hang back and be passive about the whole thing. I figure he knows and can come to me and if not then I'll get over it as time goes on. Plus who knows where he is in life.

I have great friends and a hedgehog to keep down the loneliness. I should be happy with that.

Thanks people. <33

Posted by Tamara Awe thanks for the kind words. It means a lot. Yah, I've decided just to hang back and be passive about the whole thing. I figure he knows and can come to me and if not then I'll get over it as time goes on. Plus who knows where he is in life. I have great friends and a hedgehog to keep down the loneliness. I should be happy with that. Thanks people. <33

hedgehogs rock. when josh and i move to ontario i'm getting more.