I'm half venting, half seeking opinions:

Last night I was using the boyfriends computer quickly and his email was open already (I swear on my life) and I found a conversation several replies long about mundane things (stereo set up, money owed), however interestingly enough he said that he sometimes missed her (the ex) and what they had, and she said it back.

Now I left his place at 2am in a huge storm and walked an hour to my place bar footed through the city, which didn't do much to curve my anger. Along the way a text message convo ensued:

I told him that he should have told me that he wasn't emotionally available, and that he really has no idea how much it hurts because I have been waiting to date him since I was 16 years old.

He replied that he is available to me, but he has a right to miss someone he lived with for a year, and that it doesn't matter because she lives 8 hours away and he'll never see her.

So I find several things fucked up about this:

1. I feel like I am filling in for someone.
2. So if she didn't live 8 hours away, or decided to move back I would probably be tossed to the fucking curb.
3. Not closing one door fully before opening another freaks the shit out of me. I don't miss any of my exes and I certainly wouldn't be telling them if I did.
4. I am not someone who you date half assed. I have high expectations and I am an amazing person and I can give someone the world, if I get what I need back.

He also said that he realises how great I am and loves my uniqueness, and that he's dating me for me. But I'm really not feelin' it after last night.

We're supposed to talk about everything tonight after he's done his volunteering shift. Not sure what to do. I love this twat greatly and want things to work more then anything, but my women spider-sense is telling me to run.

Thanks for listening.

Here's a cute image:

I wouldn't run.

It's the wrong thing to do maybe, but I wouldn't run. I would find out why it was broken off with her in the first place.

If it was just because she moved away...then I might consider running away screaming.

lol

nah things ended a long time ago and he hasnt been living with her for a long time, and she moved to ottawa after they broke up.

He has a tendency to stay friends with his exes and he owes her money, so that would be a good reason for her to stay nice.

I need to find out if her misses her, or what they had. Two different animals.

If you told me I wasn't allowed to miss my exes (and didn't change your mind about it after we talked) you'd be dumped.

Not because I want to miss my exes so much, but because you clearly have unrealistic expectations and little flexibility / tolerance for people who handle emotions differently than you.

I understand missing people, i get that. But openly telling them? That's kinda strange.

oh and as an aside, i am feeling really bad about over reacting, and have made an apology in a unique way.

I wouldn't say run, but you might want to consider getting those walking shoes on until you can resolve a few things. Telling an ex that you miss them while you're with someone new is very inappropriate and it is just asking for trouble. I can tell you from experience that the only time I missed an ex was when I was with a "filler" boyfriend. When I was with somebody I was really in love with, those feelings all went away.

Updates!

So I climbed to the top of the Malt plant and took a picture with a hand written note/poem in it saying sorry. It was real sincere and authentic. He forgave me for my actions and I got used to the idea of him dealing with things differently.

But today I was made aware of some very disturbing things, extreme unfaithfulness with a disgusting source.

I broke it off with Matt.

Posted by Tamara Updates! So I climbed to the top of the Malt plant and took a picture with a hand written note/poem in it saying sorry. It was real sincere and authentic. He forgave me for my actions and I got used to the idea of him dealing with things differently. But today I was made aware of some very disturbing things, extreme unfaithfulness with a disgusting source. I broke it off with Matt.

My condolences.

Posted by Tamara Updates! So I climbed to the top of the Malt plant and took a picture with a hand written note/poem in it saying sorry. It was real sincere and authentic. He forgave me for my actions and I got used to the idea of him dealing with things differently. But today I was made aware of some very disturbing things, extreme unfaithfulness with a disgusting source. I broke it off with Matt.

I'm really sorry to hear that. I've been through 2 relationships in the past where both were unfaithful with me. I was with one of them for a good amount of time and breaking it off was very hard. I know its gonna seem cliché to say that it's in your best interest that you did this, but it really is. Down the road when you meet someone else who is meant for you, you will realize that you made the right decision. All the best ...

I'm sorry to hear that =( That is some heavy stuff to deal with. Just know that your UE family is here for you.

Don't read Mr. Next's email.

I really don't go looking through people's things. The first time was literally by accident, as I closed my browser and the ex's email was open right underneath it. The second time, well fuck him, he didn't change my admin log in and I was curious on good grounds.