when ya'll find out. post it here please.

I guess that each one of us will have their own "recipe" for moving on. Time itself won't heal, going out with friends/people that you don't know surely helps a lot.


In my case it's been almost 3 years since we broke up.

I dated some other girls, met new people, traveled, saw her only 2 or 3 times for the past year and live hundreds of miles away from her. But I still think about her every damn day. The fact that she's become even more gorgeous than before today and having a "successful" life (earning a decent living, living in a big city in a nice appartment with her good looking and successful BF) (she was pretty insecure and shy before) doesn't help either.

I'm pretty average looking, and pretty bad when it comes to date girls. I just know that I won't probably ever date someone like her ever again in my life. I think that's the thing that keeps me from moving on today.

But I don't loose hope, and I know that someday I will find a way to fill the void that she left whether it will be in my job, in exploring or heck even meeting a girl that will change my mind about her.

Anyway, I hope that BelleZ moved on since October! Cheers.

Posted by K.Lagan I guess that each one of us will have their own "recipe" for moving on. Time itself won't heal, going out with friends/people that you don't know surely helps a lot. In my case it's been almost 3 years since we broke up. I dated some other girls, met new people, traveled, saw her only 2 or 3 times for the past year and live hundreds of miles away from her. But I still think about her every damn day. The fact that she's become even more gorgeous than before today and having a "successful" life (earning a decent living, living in a big city in a nice appartment with her good looking and successful BF) (she was pretty insecure and shy before) doesn't help either. I'm pretty average looking, and pretty bad when it comes to date girls. I just know that I won't probably ever date someone like her ever again in my life. I think that's the thing that keeps me from moving on today. But I don't loose hope, and I know that someday I will find a way to fill the void that she left whether it will be in my job, in exploring or heck even meeting a girl that will change my mind about her. Anyway, I hope that BelleZ moved on since October! Cheers.

well said.

"Moving on is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard." ~ À Tout Le Monde, Megadeth

I think if you realize that right from the start it'll help. How do you let it go? The best way in my opinion is to not dwell on it. Busy yourself for a little bit with work or a hobby. Throw yourself into it. Do something that you usually passed up when you would spend time with the s/o.

Don't beat yourself over the "you need to change" crap. You never need to change for someone else. If they don't like you for you, then you are wasting your time. So don't pretend to be something you aren't at the beginning. If you feel there are negatives about you then change them. But you have to WANT to change them. No one is going to inspire a true change in you. If you do it for someone else then once you get comfortable you will revert back to the things you were hiding. That isn't good.

Also one of my favorite things people have said is, "Get someone new." Don't do this. For one all you are doing by jumping into another relationship is setting you/them/both up for a world of repeated hurt. Wait till you are ready for another relationship and are over the last. It's only fair to you both. Never sabotage something new with something old. However, mutually agreed upon one night stands are totally different. Surprisingly enough these are easy to find.

I've always moved on, figured out what mistakes I made and where things were and were not my fault. I was totally honest with myself while doing this. If they were things I needed to change in myself and felt like they were worth wile changes then I made them. If I thought they were changes that would take me away from me then they were left alone.

There will be someone out there for you. Someone who will love you tomorrow and the next for who yu are. They will stick with you through thick and thin, god and bad. They will happily tell you they love you. They will smile when they tell you that you are beautiful with out you fishing for it. If you are miserable now, move on. That person is not for you and you will NEVER find the right one staying with the wrong one.

Hey BelleZ:

Guess I was just wondering how things turned out for you.

I think healing is different for everyone. And I know you don't want to hear the "time" thing, but it really is a factor.

I had only one breakup that almost sent me off the planet (thank gawd). What used to kill me was thinking about my ex during all the new free time I had after we split up. Finding stuff to occupy that time helped; the problem is that I really didn't want to do anything. But after a while, I did notice that I got more and more interested in going out, and it did help.

I didn't try to replace him with somebody else; but I did indeed flirt for the hell of it and found that the attention did help my bruised ego some.

Next thing you know, I noticed that less and less of my day was spent thinking of him. As soon as I realize I was on my way to "recovery", it was easier.

What you shouldn't do is use your left over feelings to try to run into him in places, find reasons to call him, or try to check up on his life via friends. It just makes it worse! And don't punish yourself by letting him take up too much space in your head. I used to say "NOPE, not thinking about him now. I'll think about him later". And then tried not to let it happen.

Allow yourself a short pity-party, but then you'll need to try and create your own future happiness.

Unfortunetly there is no easy cure for this shit - we just need to get through it.