A friend who I've had since near the beginning of this year is self-destructing. He has a low level of self-esteem and confidence, and is stuck living with his mother because he can't find work and isn't currently receiving disability benefits or public assistance. That might not be too bad if his mother weren't an alcoholic whose behavior affects him very negatively.

He's been under the impression that certain parties in the Buffalo and Rochester goth scenes have been badmouthing and blacklisting him, so he's gone on the attack on Facebook. Unfortunately, it was mostly in his head when he started the attacks, and now these people genuinely dislike him. Some have even gone as far as to say that he's nuts, and I don't blame them.

I've recently suggested that he try controlling himself and not spout off this self-pitying anger where everyone can read it, and I've also suggested counseling and assertiveness training courses, but he's completely ignoring me. He has significant difficulty seeing things from the point of view of others, and often flat-out refuses to consider that what he sees from his point of view isn't necessarily what's really going on. Sure, he and I both have Asperger's Syndrome, which causes problems like that, but I've mostly compensated, while he's not even trying.

He's pretty much screwed himself in the local alternative and photography scenes (he's a photographer) due to his apparent inability to shut up and stop acting like a fool, and there's nothing that I can do. As more people turn against him because of his behavior, he's going to complain more and expand his attack, and things will continue to spiral out of control.

Any suggestions, other than knocking him out, dragging him off to a padded room, and then medicating him for his own good?

sounds like a hard case. one can only hope that he sees that his ways are not working out.

You can only do so much for someone before you need to step back. Sucks, but if they want to get better it's up to them.

My friend has continued his dive off the deep end, during which time he de-friended me and proceeded to alienate even more people. Shortly thereafter, he attacked me in a PM, and made a veiled threat, telling me that I should be glad that he's, "not a violent person," because, "it could be worse."

The attack and threat aside, he also told me that he's been accused of something pretty serious, and was asked not to go to one of the local goth/synthpop events anymore. He may have gone off his rocker, but if that particular accusation was really made, then I'm going to have a talk with the person who leveled it, because it's wholly false and unwarranted.

Edit: He just told me who it is. I'm going to have a talk with them and find out what's going on.

Edit 2: After taking some good advice from a mutual acquaintance into consideration, I'm going to let things cool off before I take action.

Yet another edit: He's asked me to let him handle it, so I'm going to respect his wishes.

Respect his wishes for sure. It's not helping him when you clean up his messes as he'll just make new messes. And to make matters worse, he'll wind up dragging you down.

This is going to be very hard but it's time to back off.

Posted by Shawn W. He's been under the impression that certain parties in the Buffalo and Rochester goth scenes have been badmouthing and blacklisting him, so he's gone on the attack on Facebook. Unfortunately, it was mostly in his head when he started the attacks, and now these people genuinely dislike him. Some have even gone as far as to say that he's nuts, and I don't blame them.

That's the thing with fighting on the internet. Unlike real life where time can make people forget fights ever happened, one can go back into archives from years back and reread exactly what the other person said, often forgetting what context it was said under or the circumstances.

Sounds like he needs a good reality check. But if he's not willing to listen to his friends...

Personally, the guy seems like way more trouble than he's worth. I would not want a friend like that.