As some of you know, I'm the guardian of my 7 year old niece. The Department of Social Services asked me to watch her for ten days so that they could do an evaluation on my sister and her boyfriend. That was 6 and a half years ago.

Since then, "dad" has actually pulled himself out of LOSERVILLE and has attempted to make something of himself. Got a job, started visiting my niece, and actually does a lot to help out with transporting between school and daycare, soccer practice, etc.

Adjusting to having her was a big obstacale for me. My own daughter was already grown and out of the house at the time, and here I am suddenly with bottle feedings, changing diapers, my freedom suddenly down the drain, you know the drill. So when dad cleaned himself up, it was a Godsend to have his help.

Well, after 4 years, dad has found himself a new chick. New chick parties like a rockstar and now dad does too. Suddenly dad is missing work, unable to pay the daycare, isn't transporting from school anymore, and I found out that he's been picking my sister up to watch my niece on his visit days, while he's out partying. And he KNOWS my sister isn't capable of that type of responsibility.

I feel so disrespected. I know they have issues and I can't expect much of them. But to think they can't hold their shit together long enough to help me out with a bit of transporting, babysitting and $$$$$$ when I virtually traded in my life to do the biggest job of THEIR lives - which is raising their child, PISSES ME OFF.

Thanks for letting me rant.

Posted by Debi As some of you know, I'm the guardian of my 7 year old niece. The Department of Social Services asked me to watch her for ten days so that they could do an evaluation on my sister and her boyfriend. That was 6 and a half years ago. Since then, "dad" has actually pulled himself out of LOSERVILLE and has attempted to make something of himself. Got a job, started visiting my niece, and actually does a lot to help out with transporting between school and daycare, soccer practice, etc. Adjusting to having her was a big obstacale for me. My own daughter was already grown and out of the house at the time, and here I am suddenly with bottle feedings, changing diapers, my freedom suddenly down the drain, you know the drill. So when dad cleaned himself up, it was a Godsend to have his help. Well, after 4 years, dad has found himself a new chick. New chick parties like a rockstar and now dad does too. Suddenly dad is missing work, unable to pay the daycare, isn't transporting from school anymore, and I found out that he's been picking my sister up to watch my niece on his visit days, while he's out partying. And he KNOWS my sister isn't capable of that type of responsibility. I feel so disrespected. I know they have issues and I can't expect much of them. But to think they can't hold their shit together long enough to help me out with a bit of transporting, babysitting and $$$$$$ when I virtually traded in my life to do the biggest job of THEIR lives - which is raising their child, PISSES ME OFF. Thanks for letting me rant.

Face it, Debi, she's YOUR daughter now and it's now the biggest responsibility you have to MAKE SURE she does NOT follow their example. Back in July, I testified in court over the custody of a child. A friend of mine had a sister who met a douchebag. They had a kid. She had a terrible drug problem (prescription pills & patches) and that was what killed her. She overdosed over a year ago. Their daughter is in the custody of her mother and the father (or sperm donor because he sure as fuck isn't a father) is the same way. He's a drug user, no job, and is an all around douchebag. He showed up the court date in a ratty t-shirt and cutoff shorts. He's no parent and the courts have granted the her mother as guardian.

this is an opportunity for you, Debi, to make someone's life a better place. I know it's hard, but this isn't about you anymore. This is you making sure that a cycle doesn't repeat. You're mom once again.
Look at that kid and ask yourself how you could let anything bad happen to her?

I agree with Sam, this situation sucks, but the sperm donor has made his choice, and stability is the number one thing in a kids life, and you seem like the most stable thing going. Good luck with it. I don't know how anyone could just ignore their child, I only get my daughter every other weekend now because of school and it drives me fucking crazy to not see her for that long.

Posted by jeepdave I agree with Sam, this situation sucks, but the sperm donor has made his choice, and stability is the number one thing in a kids life, and you seem like the most stable thing going. Good luck with it. I don't know how anyone could just ignore their child, I only get my daughter every other weekend now because of school and it drives me fucking crazy to not see her for that long.

Precisely.

You took on the responsibility temporarily, that turned permanent, you stuck around for her, you are her mother now... fuck the rest of them.

Yep, she's my girl for sure! I love her like my own and enjoy having her. Wouldn't give her back if her own parents suddenly became Parents of the Year.

I don't expect or want much from the bio-parents. Just a few dollars here and there for school lunch, pictures, soccer, etc. Pisses me off when they cry poverty to me, but always have beer, butts, and other "goodies" in their possession.

And the transportation thing works my nerves hard. Dad (sperm donor) was transporting between school and daycare, but now he doesn't because he's sleeping the entire afternoon. I take my lunch hour from work, pick her up from school, stop for a quick snack, bring her to daycare and go back to work. Takes me 70 minutes. All because he's nursing a hangover from the night before.

My sister got my niece's health insurance paperwork instead of me, and never filled it out and sent it back (even though she doesn't have a job and has all f*cking day to do this) so right now my niece is uninsured and I have to start the re-enrollment process from the beginning.

All I want is a little courtesy from them. Maybe its just too much to ask from some people.

It IS too much to ask from them. Some people are simply losers and will never be more.

I highly recommend stopping all contact between them and your niece. They are causing her irreparable harm.