Posted by thatwhichisi you apparently gave them the passwords and what not for email information.. just be straight up and say no, let the drama revolve around that.. because what was the point in giving it to them? thats a sign that it may get USED AT SOME POINT.

or like me (and most other people) they are saved on her phone, to avoid typing it OVER and OVER again. I have accidently read one persons email, and it didn't work out for me AT ALL. Somethings are just best left unknown, ignorance is bliss.

I once read an entry in my last girlfriend's diary because it was on a shelf behind the head of the bed. It ended up STRENGTHENING our relationship a little because the entry talked about how I let her lead her own life, and that she was able to stay "fiercely in love" with me and still maintain her friendships.

Posted by Shawn W. I once read an entry in my last girlfriend's diary because it was on a shelf behind the head of the bed. It ended up STRENGTHENING our relationship a little because the entry talked about how I let her lead her own life, and that she was able to stay "fiercely in love" with me and still maintain her friendships.

im mad/ angry and injured right now, so i will just say "good for you".

I agree with what Hydro said, except I'll throw in that people make mistakes and sometimes deserve second chances - there are always psychological aspects to a person's life we don't get the skivvy on and if somebody finds it in their heart to work through it, better to them I suppose.

Also, nobody was bitching you out If you don't want people to direct their statements at the op then you need to clearly state it's not about you dear. I'm glad you worked it out.

My saying is, if you're looking for something - you're going to find something you don't like.

I've known ex's passwords, or some have left their FB's logged on. And yes I've thought about snooping but I never did because A.) I don't want to lose their trust and B.) I might find something I may not like that is insignificante.

And I totally agree with that being a recipe for trouble, not sure what I'd do if my SO did but I'm sure I'd feel untrusted, and when you feel that things always go a rye.

Posted by Porcelain Doll My saying is, if you're looking for something - you're going to find something you don't like. I've known ex's passwords, or some have left their FB's logged on. And yes I've thought about snooping but I never did because A.) I don't want to lose their trust and B.) I might find something I may not like that is insignificante. And I totally agree with that being a recipe for trouble, not sure what I'd do if my SO did but I'm sure I'd feel untrusted, and when you feel that things always go a rye.

times 10000000000

Just to open a dead thread here, I just wanted to add that I snooped into my ex-husbands phone messages. It was the best thing I ever did.

With that being said, I do not condone snooping. However, I had a feeling something was going on and I spent a couple months trying to nail it down. After I failed doing that; I resorted to listening to his voice mail.

He was indeed cheating and I found out the added bonus that he was also smoking crack and spending all of our money on prescription pain meds. I may have snooped, but my position was that the fucker wasn't going to continue to shit on me behind my back; and I was sick and tired of trying to figure out what was happening the "politically correct" way.

I recorded the messages and played them to his face one day. He had the audacity to say "he was being harassed by somebody who obviously had the wrong number". To that I said, GTFO.

Snooping put an end to a full year of shit that was happening, but I couldn't put my finger on. I felt I had the right to protect my own well being and I still feel the same way.

I don't, however, believe in snooping just because you can.

debi, very sorry to hear that, i can agree with what you said, and that you really had an issue with him that HAD to be resolved if not for anything less than you health and financial security. but your last statement says it best:

"I don't, however, believe in snooping just because you can. "

i still believe that if you dig deep enough you WILL find something that will piss you off. in your case i think you did not dig to "just see whats out there" you saw something that was going on for a year, so no violation of trust on your part imho.

did it happen like this?

It's pretty obvious that when you are snooping you're trying to find something that shouldn't be found.

There are two results from snooping:
1. you don't find anything and you feel validated
2. you find something bad and it's a bummer

Regardless, you clearly lost your trust in that person and maybe that is more important than the fact that they might have done something.

Sometimes though your inner voice is telling you something isn't right.

For example, years back I was briefly dating this one woman who was always on the computer chatting. I was uncomfortable with this because she seemed to be fixated on this one guy. I initially did nothing, putting security before insecurity and trust before mistrust.

As things progressed I finally decided to take a little peek at these chats and found that she met the guy once, made out with him while she was visiting down in Toronto and claimed to "miss him" despite it being a one-time meeting. All along she would deny that she was interested in this guy.

Had I done nothing, I would have been blind to this whole situation and in the end probably been dumped. As it was, I told her to GTFO.

It was just a short lived dating thing, nothing serious and given her lack of life skills, I think I'd have dumped her in the end anyway. She just expedited it.

Posted by Intrinsic Sometimes though your inner voice is telling you something isn't right. For example, years back I was briefly dating this one woman who was always on the computer chatting. I was uncomfortable with this because she seemed to be fixated on this one guy. I initially did nothing, putting security before insecurity and trust before mistrust. As things progressed I finally decided to take a little peek at these chats and found that she met the guy once, made out with him while she was visiting down in Toronto and claimed to "miss him" despite it being a one-time meeting. All along she would deny that she was interested in this guy. Had I done nothing, I would have been blind to this whole situation and in the end probably been dumped. As it was, I told her to GTFO. It was just a short lived dating thing, nothing serious and given her lack of life skills, I think I'd have dumped her in the end anyway. She just expedited it.

This part of my response is based solely on this /\ post. If your inner voice is telling you something is up, then it usually is. I've ignored that inner voice and it turned out badly. Sometimes blindly trusting something can bite you in the ass, and sometimes jumping on every insecurity can bite you in the ass. You just gotta pick which is right for you. I'm glad you checked into it. If someone is talking too much to someone who isn't their partner, there's trouble for sure.

Overall though, you have to trust the person you are involved with otherwise you don't have a good relationship. Sometimes we see things we shouldn't, I know I have and I had to never ever bring it up (I actually saw a part of an x's diary once by accident). You have the choice then to tell the, or not, but either way you have to be ready for the knowledge to eat you up, or that they will be pissed and could never forgive you. It can be a toss up.