when i joined this specific user board, i figured that it would help me out with my life.
my relationships with significant others, and friends in general.
as i have mentioned before, and as im sure most of us are aware, ALL OF US human beings are flawed.. not a single one of us is perfect, therefore we all have to, in some way, deal/help others with the problems they have if we want to be apart of their lives.
(of course there is only so much you can do for a person who refuses to accept help, or who cant recognize when information meant to improve themselves is there..)

i look at the new (pretty much all) threads being posted here, and its mostly negative experience.

this doesnt make me feel too good, being that well, i... and a shit ton of other people who probably joined this board for a similar reason as me, want to attain meaningful relationships.

as with most complex things, the best time to fix social problems is usually before they occur. excellent communication, anger or verbal vomit control, and most importantly, 'understanding' things (like human nature, emotional and physical needs) before they will 'humanly' happen.

so the question is now, does anyone have any information that they would like to drop off here that can IMPROVE our experience? a POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT rather than explicit examples of what you SHOULDN'T do?


for example:: (always keeping exceptions in mind)

EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!! despite what media and government try to imply! we as a species are a pack animal, with an upper hand that we ignore, but we operate as a mother fucking unit, and we NEEEEEED one another however unfortunate that sounds..

yikes, i realize that sounds a bit negative, but fuck man! it needs to be paid attention to more sometimes... BUT DO NOT LET THIS STATEMENT make you think that you are to put yourself last... after all, secure your oxygen mask first before assisting anyone else with theirs.. how can you help if youre fucking dead?

being that everything is not all about you, if your significant other has a goal, what better way to show you care than to help them out and be supportive.. brownie points in a relationship. get some phone numbers, do some research, REMIND them.. this applies to your friends/family too.

being that everything is not all about you, if someone is tired or hungry or cold and youre doing something that you want and their being this way is going to impact your fun, sometimes coming to a compromise (compromising your fun for their comfort or health) is an awesome way to halt some negative feelings.
why, sometimes it is really nice when you entirely let someone elses needs come before your own.

if you have a friend, and you want to talk certain secrets to them, going out of your way to keep it from your significant other, maybe you should think about how that shit would feel from the other side.. whether they know or not, YOU know what you are doing, reevaluate why you are even in a relationship with someone that you feel you should do this to.. maybe you need not to be.

*understanding that everything is not about you, maybe your significant other has been hurt or lied to or abused in some manner.. surely there must be some intellectual potential in this human being, lest youd not have taken notice of them.. if you notice them acting childish, paranoid, whatever that may come with having certain unfortunate life experiences, instead of getting pissed off yourself because you think there is too much (ex.)jealousy, you must (especially if this is where you have a strength) communicate with them, let them tell you why they are acting this way, what your intentions are/were, whatever may come with the situation.. some way to allow them peace of mind while still being able to be yourself... getting pissed in return will NOT help the situation out in any way. this WILL have to be repeated.. and you will need patience. sometimes, a little compromise.. (not just on your part)
i will tell you that sometimes, people lash out verbally instead of speak calmly and clearly because they are ashamed of even having these feelings, and for appearing weak. so instead of them pointing out the flaw, weakness and vulnerability in themselves, they get upset with what you are doing instead of how its affecting them, because that is easier, it takes less brain power. and, "what it you dont give a shit?" is always in the back of a wounded persons mind. that no one cares.
because sadly,
people dont often enough for long enough.
self comes first.. in a lot of situations that is understandable. it is human.
anyhow, maybe you are the wounded person. always tell your significant other what and why something is bothering you instead of getting fumed or to the point to yelling.. and be aware that you wont always get the situational outcome youre hoping for..


need a different perspective to attain understanding? try someone elses shoes.

you want someone to like you? stay in love with you? then do what you want, what makes you feel awesome. dont wait to have a significant other to do things with, but to come with you to do those things you already do.. and then they can do the same with you.
the greatest show of love in my opinion, is the knowledge you can share and experience together, and the inspiration to be more that you can give to one another.

which brings me to another point.. no one wants to be around angry, sad, depressed people. please speak your mind, but dont weigh others down.. you want to be happier, usually, if you are sad or situationally depressed. of course no one is asking you to "get over it" (because thats just a bullshit statement) but if you can make the best of your day, have fun and laugh, allow others to cheer you up, allow yourself to cheer you up.. do all that you can to do so.
and dont take the good things in life for granted..
i am extremely guilty of this.. i let my past fuck my now. but i am trying.

remember that the past that each of us has DOES (and that will never change) equal the outcome that is before you.. it is the education whether helpful or harmful that has shaped our emotions and habits.. it cant be changed. but every passing moment is a chance to learn and understand something different, and new, with which you can apply to your now, a very important time.

"it is only this,
no draft nor final manuscript survives with which to speculate, for i have burned them.
no edition has a date, i distinguish no printings, number and sign no copies so what you hold, collector, will not appreciate.
do not put this on your shelf, critic, for the special paper dissolves in air.
read, that is all;
now is the only time
to take the wafer of our sacrament, before it vanishes.
this is all there is." -peter goblen

thats just a couple of things that i could think of for now..
i am interested in hearing other things that people have experienced, or observed.