My bf's mom had her house foreclosed on. And of course, instead of trying to find another place to go, she just dragged her feet - living in the house until the judge finally threw her out. She has 3 kids; a daughter who said she could go there, a son and his wife who said she could "eventually" go there if need be, and my bf and I. I am the only one who absolutely, without a doubt, don't want the woman in my house.

But my bf is so unselfish and giving, and has been super-wonderful to me and any of my needs. And I feel somewhat selfish saying "NO FUCKING WAY", but at the same time figure that its my right to be able to be honest about how I feel. My home is the place where I go to be peaceful, and I don't want her around. I am sick of doing things that I don't want to do to keep other people happy; seems I'm doing that all the time. But this is just WAY too huge.

In the past I have already taken care of my drug addict sister, sold my house to move in with my dad to care for him until he died, and then got custody of my sisters daughter and have been raising her for 7 years. I've pretty much done all I'm willing to do when it comes to "fixing" other peoples lives.

We've tried finding her a place to live, but she turns her nose up at everything, or can't afford it, or doesn't like where it is, blah blah blah.

And he keeps saying "But its my mother - what do you want me to do?" And I feel like complete shit when he says that. She has her "reasons" why she doesn't want to go with the others, and I don't even know why she wants to come to my house since we don't exactly have a warm relationship.

She's the type that likes to take over, and we've already knocked heads over it. She once painted a room in my house the very color I told her NOT to paint it. She's also planted flowers in my yard in places I told her not too, because I was going to make a dog pen there. She just does what she wants.

Guess I just need some outside opinions; because I'm not doing very well figuring this out on my own.

THANKS

are you married? no. you're not obligated to deal with his mother under any circumstances. It's going to be painful and possibly end your relationship, but if you go along with this, it will doom the relationship anyways.

this is not going to be an easy one, Deb...

Who pays for your house?

My mother in law used to work as a schoolteacher. Then come down to TX to visit us for about a month at a time, which was - to say the least - horrid as hell. I am so sorry that you have to actually LIVE with her.

It is not unreasonable by any means to communicate to your SO that you are uncomfortable having her live there. I would suggest a legal agreement that she be there for X amount of time, at that point she has to vacate the premises. It seems harsh, but it is TOTALLY worth it in the long run. If she dragged her feet and knew she had to leave her house originally, I can only imagine what this means if she will be moving in with you.

Good Luck.

Its my house; but contribute equally. I know it sounds easy to say "Get out and take your mother with you", but I don't want that to happen.

Him and I are great together; probably the best relationship we've both ever had. And there are kids involved too (my niece and his son) and we've all been living as a family for about 4 years. It would suck to give that up just because his mother decided to drop this bomb on us. Especially since there are two other siblings that are much more suited for her than we are. They both have extra bedrooms, where she's planning to put her bed in an extra kitchen we have upstairs!

Not to mention that one of those siblings owes his mother $20K which he can't pay back and recently had HIS inlaws living in his house for two years - rent free. They also take ANYBODY from their church in if they ever need a place. But don't want dear ol' mom.

If there was absolutely no other place, I may re-think and try to let her stay until we figured something else out. I just don't even have THAT much in me.

My bf says "You should understand; you cared for your dad but you don't think I should do the same for my mom". Its things like that that I have no response for. It makes me feel selfish, but I'm just being honest about how I feel.

Posted by Debi My bf says "You should understand; you cared for your dad but you don't think I should do the same for my mom". Its things like that that I have no response for. It makes me feel selfish, but I'm just being honest about how I feel.

"Well yes I did care for my Father, and it was an awful decision because...... and I don't want to make the same mistake with your Mother"

Mine are great. I LOVE my inlaws.

For the love of all things sacred,don't do it!