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Intrinsic
Location: Collingwood Gender: Male Total Likes: 412 likes
| | | Re: need some adivce from some guys please < Reply # 6 on 4/24/2011 5:44 AM > | Reply with Quote
| | | Your bf has already come out on a few photo shoots, so he was open to the possibility at one point. Taking photos of old crusty buildings full of dust and dirt are not to everyone's liking. I know I have difficulty trying to explain it to people. You need to have your own interests and so does he. The key question here is, is there ANY common ground? I know some couples where the male is sitting in front of the X-Box all day while the female is tending to the house and the children. Clearly not a healthy relationship and no, I don't own any video game system. I wouldn't necessarily blame him for falling asleep at a movie, because there have been some that I've been dragged to where I've also come close. The red flag here seems to be that there doesn't seem to be anything that the two of you enjoy doing together. What keeps you together? Beyond the physical attraction, there needs to be more... open communication, quiet time together, and some outings be it dining, social events with other couples, a play, etc. A healthy relationship is built upon independance rather than reliance but there has to be some mutual activities. You can't just go about 'tolerating' his activities and he avoids yours. If you're able to go out to dinner parties, agreed upon shows, country drives, etc. and actively communicate while doing so I would say you're in good hands. I wouldn't say that photography is something that both parties must actively participate in. edit: also, UER is not a place that quickly forgets any dirty laundry that you air. keep this in mind when asking for advice.
[last edit 4/24/2011 5:47 AM by Intrinsic - edited 1 times]
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| K8 Vonwolfie This member has been banned. See the banlist for more information.
Location: ct Gender: Female Total Likes: 3 likes
people die right there ---->
| | | | Re: need some adivce from some guys please < Reply # 10 on 4/24/2011 7:51 PM > | Reply with Quote
| | | Posted by compaq12986 eh, hard to say. Id say when it comes to the xbox instead of watching him play when you don't want to just go do something you want to do. It'd be different if he demands that you watch him play. While hes parked infront of the xbox for a few hours go explore. About the movies and stuff that might be something worth bringing up to him. I've allways watched what ever my gf's wanted to, but it does get annoying and almost torture like when i have to watch americas next top model. you know you should watch it and pretend to like it, but it gets agonizing. and thats not healthy either. If dude wants to take a nap while somethings on that he doesnt like and you can cuddle with him while your watching it, it should be a win win situation.
------------OR----------------- You guys could have your own time apart to do your own hobbies and hangout with your own friends and be your own seperate human beings. spending too much time with an SO is a good way to get sick of each other quickly or become codependent. Im not really good at articulating myself, but there needs to be a balance.
| ok to sum up, ususally i do just explore when he wants to play xbox. I hate america's next top model so i feel ya on that, i enjoy anime and he does as well, but I have a much broader sense of the word anime, so sometimes he hates the shows i like so i can undertsand it being agonizing. its hard to cuddle when he falls asleep during this because he's usually behind me in a ball and the tvs in front so it's awkward to try and cuddle and watch at the same time, though ive tried and still try and we def have our own time apart. problem being, and this is why i asked for adive, it seems like all it ever is is time doing our own things, and when we are together im bored or he's bored. I mean this isn't all the time, but most of the time. like I brought him to my friends wedding yesterday and it was a blast, sometimes we'll go down to the bar and thats great. id just like some together stuff that we both could have fun. we did start playing castle crashers together which is fun and also he wants me to play tmnt or ghost busters as well. so maybe these will be the new together times?
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| K8 Vonwolfie This member has been banned. See the banlist for more information.
Location: ct Gender: Female Total Likes: 3 likes
people die right there ---->
| | | | Re: need some adivce from some guys please < Reply # 17 on 4/25/2011 1:11 AM > | Reply with Quote
| | | Posted by hydrotherapy
Erm. Have you considered maybe taking a week apart, entirely, from each other? Unless you've been together for half a decade plus, this isn't the best of signs. Time apart may help you two realize each other still exist, or maybe give a better perspective if this is even worth throwing energy into.
| it's hard to explain this all through posts. we hang out and are fine. I just don't like it sometimes when we hang at his place and he asks if he can play a round or two of whatever game he's playing at the time. or also at his place, if we get food and come back and he'll just turn on w e show he wants without asking---this has been getting much better because I voiced my irritation with this, and we will choose a show to watch together we both can enjoy. though sometimes he'll beg bc w e show he enjoys is airing a new episode that day, which i won;t be cunt and say no. I wouldn't want that done to me. whenever i go away for a weekend shoot in mass or jersey or where ever he does miss me alot and usually will buy dinner the night i come back and we watch a movie we rent etc etc. so time apart does work. He also not only bought me my xbox 360 for my birthday but also helped me buy my mac so he is a very considerate person, just needs some redirecting sometimes. and I really do enjoy our time together so yes to me it is truly worth the energy. He's very supportive of my exploring, though as stated many times in here he's just not that into it, and he really enjoys seeing my work. When I went away to mass for a weekend in the winter he came over and dug out my driveway and porch for the dogs and our walkway to the front door without me even asking or saying anything. so he's really a great guy, just some flaws with certain things, and I'm probably no better, im not saying im a saint in the relationship at all, but I feel sometimes i try a bit more
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