We've held hands and kissed on a couple occasions, but she has stopped and then said the "friends" word. Is that a euphemism girls use for they don't like you, or are they just crazy?

They are just crazy.

Once they begin to develop feelings for you they suddenly panic as they remember the last time their heart was crushed and thus they close off all emotions.

Once you enter the friend zone it's hard to get out of.

Yeah that sounds really more in the "crazy" zone than anything. Kissing, holding hands etc. shows an interest above friendship to me. Probably like Intrinsic says with a bad past relationship or something. Do you know this girls history in that area? I would straight out ask her why she does those things if she's not romantically interested in you. I hate being in a gray area but that's just a personal preference. If you asked her straight up it will probably take some of the "guessing game" out of it for you.

Getting the friends line is the kiss of death no matter if you were intimate or not. That is something one uses to let the other down easily. Don't let her make you confused, just move on. Don't contact her, see other people, and if she happens to reach out to you in the future then maybe there is a chance of getting something started again.

She did tell me that she didn't want to start anything because "girls are crazy and she doesn't want to develop feelings for me".

She also said she isn't able to be monogamous so I'm not looking for a relationship with her. Just looking for someone to mess around with. It's just frustrating because it hard to tell if it's possible. She's holding herself back and it's hard to tell if it's because she's scared, or because she's just not attracted to me.

Hmm so you want a friends with benefits situation. Well there's different ways of going about that.....

I'd say that situation is def. possible in the future- she seems to like being close just not to the point of getting it on, right? whether you want to be in a loving relationship or not, sometimes growing to the point where you can be physical takes a while and is a slow process. You might slowly go from friends with no benefits to fuck buddies and never anything more than that.
Just because she doesn't want to jump into bed tonight doesn't mean she won't want to next week, especially if she's kissing you and doing the hand holding thing. I'd say as long as she knows you're not looking for monogamy with her so she doesn't feel guilty she's keeping you out of a potentially long lasting relationship with some woman who might come along you're likely good to go

Let me know how it turns out.

Will do.

And for the love of God don't cross that emotional attachment line... once you do, you'll regret it.

What I would do if I were you is let any hopes of getting her go. Start accepting (or at least acting like you are) that she just wants to be friends. In all potential relationships "friends" is the kiss of death. And most of the time when someone had someone else that wanted them and suddenly doesn't it throws them. They don't like it and they don't get it. Even when they come to the rational conclusion that they said they didn't want you, they don't get why you stopped trying. Everyone wants what they can't have.

So if you just be around without going out of your way, act unconcerned with a relationship, and start looking/ stay open to someone else, then either she will come around or you'll have someone that wants you. And honestly you'll enjoy your life a ton more because the stress and worry about this won't be there at all.

But whatever you do, DO NOT chase after her. DO NOT hound her about you liking her or anything. You are friends, that's it, and that's cool with you. Because if you don't then "friends" won't even be possible. And you won't want it either if by some chance you get it. To her you will be the doormat that is always there waiting when she wants you. Fuck that. No one deserves that.

Just my $.02.

Go get drunk together. It will end awesomely or horribly, but the guessing game will be over.

Actually, that's when lead to making out!

Posted by MindHacker Go get drunk together. It will end awesomely or horribly, but the guessing game will be over.

Best advice so far

Having seen/been in similar situations before, I personally don't think the prognosis is good. People don't always make the best decisions when they are drinking. If you can return to just being friends without it being weird, do it and just leave it. Let her figure it out if she wants more and in the meantime just do your own thing. I'd say don't cross the emotional attachment line but with this post I'm pretty sure you're already there.

+2 with what Twist says...

Posted by MindHacker Go get drunk together. It will end awesomely or horribly, but the guessing game will be over.

+1,000.

Posted by MindHacker Go get drunk together. It will end awesomely or horribly, but the guessing game will be over.

I tried that with someone I'm in a "situation" with myself, except we got really, really high.

It just made things more confusing. lol

Also: FUCK MIXED SIGNALS

Posted by WarBird69 Also: FUCK MIXED SIGNALS

Amen to that! If only everyone thought that way.

Posted by L'Ali Amen to that! If only everyone thought that way.

Sometimes I think mixed signals are unintentional. Either one party is saying and doing/acting in two different ways, or the things they say/do change minute to minute. That, or the other party can't read the first party correctly. Perhaps what they think they see isn't what is meant to be seen at all. A combination of the two can lead to a negative feedback loop where both parties are disoriented and confused, leading to at least one of them to shove the other into the "friend zone" because they don't know what else to do.

I may or may not have a bad tendancy to over analyze things, especially when it comes to women I'm interested in. I cling on to every little detail and try to figure out where I stand on the ladder. Needless to say, this very rarely works. Being super analytical is great at times, like in my job or when determining if a potential UE target is worth exploring. Not so much in relationships, potential or otherwise.

An interesting read for those who haven't seen it before: http://www.laddertheory.com/

Posted by WarBird69 An interesting read for those who haven't seen it before: http://www.laddertheory.com/

Someone linked me to that recently. I thought it was awful

Posted by WarBird69 Sometimes I think mixed signals are unintentional. Either one party is saying and doing/acting in two different ways, or the things they say/do change minute to minute. That, or the other party can't read the first party correctly. Perhaps what they think they see isn't what is meant to be seen at all. A combination of the two can lead to a negative feedback loop where both parties are disoriented and confused, leading to at least one of them to shove the other into the "friend zone" because they don't know what else to do. I may or may not have a bad tendancy to over analyze things, especially when it comes to women I'm interested in. I cling on to every little detail and try to figure out where I stand on the ladder. Needless to say, this very rarely works. Being super analytical is great at times, like in my job or when determining if a potential UE target is worth exploring. Not so much in relationships, potential or otherwise. An interesting read for those who haven't seen it before: http://www.laddertheory.com/

I agree and I too over analyze things. I once broke down the whole thought process I had to a friend and she just looked at me with awe. It works great in my line of work, not so fantastic in the dating zone.

And I do agree for a great portion of the ladder theory.