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UER Forum > Private Boards Index > Relationships > Online dating (Viewed 27333 times)
VBJag 


Location: Oklahoma
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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 20 on 6/5/2011 8:39 PM >
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I'm 22...

College also makes it easy. Since I do a lot of social activities too, it's really easy for me to meet people. And any girl does not intimidate me.

I've never found it hard to do. I'm obviously sociable too.




Esoterik 


Location: Kansas City
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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 21 on 6/5/2011 11:09 PM >
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If you're 22 and in college and not meeting women, you should just commit suicide already. Shit's easy there.




“You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.”
VBJag 


Location: Oklahoma
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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 22 on 6/5/2011 11:27 PM >
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Posted by Esoterik
If you're 22 and in college and not meeting women, you should just commit suicide already. Shit's easy there.


QFT. Especially at my college. The ladies are just a begging!




Shawn W. 


Location: Niagara Falls, NY
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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 23 on 6/6/2011 12:21 AM >
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Posted by Esoterik
If you're 22 and in college and not meeting women, you should just commit suicide already. Shit's easy there.

Not if you suffer from social anxiety.




What is a rebel? A man who says no. - Albert Camus
Radio2600 


Location: On the Road to Wellville
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HY KAK TO TAK

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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 24 on 6/6/2011 2:07 AM >
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Posted by Neo
OK kids, other than uer.ca/love what's your preference?


Since I'm married, nothing.

Met her on Plentyoffish.com

I could totally multi-date on the same day with that site. Get 3-5 meetings per weekend. On their forum they call that "serial dating". First time some woman accused me of that she misspelled the term as "cereal dating", so I changed my name on there to Captain_Crunch.




In order to use your head, you have to go out of your mind.
Esoterik 


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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 25 on 6/6/2011 4:36 AM >
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Posted by Shawn W.

Not if you suffer from social anxiety.


Alcohol son. Try it.




“You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.”
Shawn W. 


Location: Niagara Falls, NY
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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 26 on 6/6/2011 5:47 AM >
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Posted by Esoterik


Alcohol son. Try it.

Did. Stopped just short of nine years ago, and have no plans to start again. Also, having Asperger's doesn't help matters, alcohol or no alcohol.




What is a rebel? A man who says no. - Albert Camus
Chrissy 


Location: Seaview Downs - South Australia
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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 27 on 6/6/2011 10:00 AM >
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My son has Aspergers. I just hope that when he is old enough, that he has enough confidence in himself to give it a go. He is only 9 at the moment, but does have a "girl" friend at school who is very patient with him and thinks his quirks are sweet. All I can hope for is that they feel that way when they are teenagers

Even though I don't have Aspergers Shawn, I understand the anxiety that you go through on a daily basis. You will find your fit, it just takes time.


*Edited because I cant type to save my life today.



[last edit 6/6/2011 10:01 AM by Chrissy - edited 1 times]

Louie 


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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 28 on 6/6/2011 9:51 PM >
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I like OkCupid and agree with Yield - levels of crazy depend on where you live and what you're looking for. I like that there are no advertisements. I have been on there for about a year and a half, but wish I had made a profile much sooner. Sometimes you'll see people you already know and end up going out or in bed together.

basically - Make profile... Profit!

Posted by Chrissy
I'm on tagged.com but it's full of sex crazed lunatics


They all want your pretty face.

You and Shawn wouldn't want to hear my take on Asbergers... it's a by-proxy disorder placed on children by diagnosis-happy parents and teachers. It's a mental box that forces you to think you cannot change and that you cannot socialize and helps to separate you from peer groups rather than to become integrated. It's self-defeating, and therapy rarely changes people's "autistic spectrum" behaviors, it merely reinforces them. Unless you are dealing with serious issues, childhood psychology tends to create more problems than it solves.

What is "normal" anyways?

Posted by maypost
What ever happened to walking up to a person and starting a convo?


WHATISTHISIDONTEVEN... you're telling a bunch of basement dwellers to get some game? Impossible.




Chrissy 


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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 29 on 6/7/2011 12:04 AM >
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I am always open to other people's opinions. When Connor was a baby he crawled on time, walked on time, but when he hit around 2 yrs old, he stopped talking, and would cry if you put him on grass, would run in terror from the vacuum cleaner, hit himself in the head, pull his own hair and scream if he was upset in any way. He was my first baby, and I thought he was perfect (as all mummy's do) but thought that he was just "taking his time".
But then he turned 3 and still wasn't talking. When he wanted to go out for a walk, he would walk over to the stroller and grab it, rock it back and forth and say - gang ga nang ga nang.. over and over. And when he saw leaves blowing on trees, he would get super happy and say Loydle loydle loydle over and over.
Certain smells would start the self harming, noises would do the same, and I just didnt know what to do.

So after many visits to doctors he got speech therapy - she was brilliant and used his Thomas the tank obsession to get him to talk. He is now 9 and has a vocabulary past kids his age.

The only other therapy I have had for him is occupational therapy, because he is extremely unco-ordinated and had problems even holding a pencil properly. But he is in a mainstream school, is actually ahead of his peers in reading, writing and comprehension, and has a small group of friends.

I tell him all the time that he can be whatever he wants. That he isn't limited just because he has Aspergers. He used to say - But I'm different, and I pointed out to him, everyone's different. Everyone has one thing about themselves that isn't "normal" but we all just get on with it.

I was told therapy and drugs may help him, but I don't see the need for it. I don't think he needs drugs to cope with his feelings, he is learning other ways of doing that.

wow.. I just rambled on a whole darn lot huh I think I'll end this here, as it really isnt the place for it Feel free to pm me




Shawn W. 


Location: Niagara Falls, NY
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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 30 on 6/7/2011 12:42 AM >
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Posted by Louie

You and Shawn wouldn't want to hear my take on Asbergers... it's a by-proxy disorder placed on children by diagnosis-happy parents and teachers. It's a mental box that forces you to think you cannot change and that you cannot socialize and helps to separate you from peer groups rather than to become integrated. It's self-defeating, and therapy rarely changes people's "autistic spectrum" behaviors, it merely reinforces them. Unless you are dealing with serious issues, childhood psychology tends to create more problems than it solves.

What is "normal" anyways?

I really hate it when blanket statements such as this are made.

I'm 33, and I first received a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome at least 25 years ago, well before it was put in the DSM-IV, so it was not a "trendy" diagnosis, nor are my parents diagnosis-happy people. My mother had no idea what AS was back then, which was the case for most people, and why she didn't object when it was changed to bipolar disorder at some point, which I do NOT have. I was already separate from other students, who I did not consider my peers, because my level of intelligence was well above most of them. Believe me, I tried, but was extremely socially awkward during my childhood, and not only did I not know about the AS diagnosis, but I didn't have enough awareness of the others for it to have any appreciable effect on my behavior.

Continuing on, Asperger's doesn't force me to think anything. I know that I'm capable of change because I've changed quite a bit since I was diagnosed with it a second time at age 20. One thing that Asperger's has granted me is an insight that I would not otherwise have, and for that I am grateful.

I'm going to close by kindly asking you to refrain from painting everyone with the same brush in the future, because everyone is different, and you should understand and respect that. Thank you.



[last edit 6/7/2011 1:17 AM by Shawn W. - edited 1 times]

What is a rebel? A man who says no. - Albert Camus
Chrissy 


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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 31 on 6/7/2011 1:10 AM >
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It is a shame that you didn't have extra support growing up. My sons school is excellent with him. And it's not a fancy private school, just a regular old public school. But they make excceptions. For his first two years there, he had his own "quiet" corner, where he could go when he got overwhelmed by all the noise.

A doctor told me once - for kids like Connor it can feel like he is in a room with 10 or so people trying to explain things to him at exactly the same time. He was unable to filter out background noise, kid's playing/talking etc and the teacher .. it was just a huge jumble to him, very overwhelming to the senses.

And that is a kid who is 5 or so, going to school for the first time, in a class with 20 to 30 other kids. Personally, I think that is a HUGE thing to deal with. And the school thought the same. Even now, he has need for a quiet spot to eat his lunch. They let him eat it in his classroom while the others are outside. But that is all he needs now at school.

If you were anything like Connor at the same age Shawn, I can only imagine how confronting school must have been for you.

I do believe that there are "Diagnosis happy" parents, who are looking for excuses for their badly behaved kids, who are that way because of lax parenting, but don't want to accept that. But there are also legitimate parents, who have kids who need extra help. It doesn't make him a lesser person, nor me a lesser parent. It just means, that for him to get where other kids are - he has to do it in a roundabout kind of way.

Like I said before, everyone has their own opinions and are entitled to them. Not everyone agrees, that's the beauty of this world that we live in. All you can do is take each experience and thought as a single thing, generalizations are never much good though - there is always an exception to a rule




Neptune 


Location: Maine
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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 32 on 6/7/2011 4:20 AM >
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Sure, meeting people in college is a breeze, but how do you meet people after college? I'm not a bar-going person, nor would I want to start anything serious with someone I met at a bar. When I do get some free time, I go exploring, and it isn't like you meet a ton of people that way, at least not where I'm from. Meeting people is tough sometimes, that's why I joined that online dating site. Then I decided I would rather be single than end up with a psycho.

Like someone else said, friend of a friend is an excellent way to go.




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hydrotherapy 

Clever Girl


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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 33 on 6/7/2011 12:15 PM >
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Posted by Neptune
Sure, meeting people in college is a breeze, but how do you meet people after college?


At bars, in cafes, at music venues, waiting in line for things, exploring, at local meet ups about things you enjoy, at the photography store, waiting for a bus or on a subway. On the beach. Exploring in buildings. On websites where people have common interests. At a restaurant waiting to be seated. At a restaurant once seated. At a friend's house party. At a local park. In a parking lot. While smoking. While bitching about other people smoking. At a farmer's market. After leaving a movie theatre. So on.

I'm four years out of college and meet new people nearly every day. I'm not sure what the problem everyone seems to have is. I'm with Maypost.

Y'all need to get out more.




Get down, girl, go 'head, get down.
L'Ali 


Location: Clarington
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Behind every damsel is a fire breathing dragon

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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 34 on 6/7/2011 1:57 PM >
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Posted by Neptune
Sure, meeting people in college is a breeze, but how do you meet people after college? I'm not a bar-going person, nor would I want to start anything serious with someone I met at a bar. When I do get some free time, I go exploring, and it isn't like you meet a ton of people that way, at least not where I'm from. Meeting people is tough sometimes, that's why I joined that online dating site. Then I decided I would rather be single than end up with a psycho.

Like someone else said, friend of a friend is an excellent way to go.


Agreed. I live in an are in smallish city that's mainly families. I'm actually a pretty quiet person, very shy to begin with, and I'm usually to focused on what I'm doing to even pay much attention to people around me. You'd have to hit me on the head to make me realize I'm being hit on. I also work in an business that is about 90% women. Having many friends who are married already, or just seeing what is out there is scary. It does get harder as you get older - I'm in my 30's. So ya I've tried the online thing before with very mixed results. I'd be interested in seeing a thread for the top 10 online dating reasons you won't respond to someone! LOL I've got a list already.




Everything is sweetened by risk.
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MonkeyPunchBaby 


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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 35 on 6/7/2011 2:00 PM >
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For me I joined bc I work all a lot and when I am not working I have my son.




Esoterik 


Location: Kansas City
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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 36 on 6/7/2011 2:37 PM >
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In any thread/discussion board about online dating you will get people bragging about how they have such insane game they can pull whoever they want anytime anyplace. Implying that people who use online dating are basement dwellers who have no other options.

It's the internet, and an urban exploration board, so that needs to be taken with a HUGE grain of salt. Like urban explorers threatening to fight each other in threads where Detroit is mentioned.

The reality: Online dating is a supplement to meeting people in real life as well.




“You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.”
maypost 


Location: North, South, East, West, all around... then down to the underground
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Exploring if for n00bz0rz

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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 37 on 6/7/2011 2:41 PM >
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I am not saying I can pull whatever I want. I am saying that real human interaction is healthy, hiding behind a computer and outlandish lies about myself(it's online dating... EVERYONE is full of shit) is not. Go outside, actually talk to people, be a human and interact.




Exploring is like tattoos... They stopped being cool in 2005

L'Ali 


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Behind every damsel is a fire breathing dragon

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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 38 on 6/7/2011 3:03 PM >
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Posted by Esoterik
In any thread/discussion board about online dating you will get people bragging about how they have such insane game they can pull whoever they want anytime anyplace. Implying that people who use online dating are basement dwellers who have no other options.

It's the internet, and an urban exploration board, so that needs to be taken with a HUGE grain of salt. Like urban explorers threatening to fight each other in threads where Detroit is mentioned.

The reality: Online dating is a supplement to meeting people in real life as well.


People have big balls behind a wee computer screen.

And nothing compares to meeting people in person. As there you can see how short they really are and how old their picture really is LOL Actually I had a friend meet a guy who said his pic was about 25lbs off of what he was now. She met him and said "it was more like 100lbs off". That was off of POF.




Everything is sweetened by risk.
-- Alexander Smith
http://www.flickr....hotos/11765127@N08
Esoterik 


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Re: Online dating
< Reply # 39 on 6/7/2011 3:14 PM >
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I had a profile on pof for 5 weeks before meeting someone and taking it down, and the only lie I encountered was women stating they were "divorced" in their profile when actually they were only separated. No thanks to that drama!

Other than that the women were pretty up front with everything, as far as I could tell. Again I only look for 35 and up and I think the lying is a lot less with older folks.

Just want to add that the trick to using it successfully is to get the in- person meet as soon as possible. No more than 2-3 message exchanges before getting the phone number or setting up the meet. You have to keep it moving fast! And never ever use the chat feature (that's just me though, I hate any kind of chat). Again the goal is to meet in person, and to do it quickly.




[last edit 6/7/2011 3:20 PM by Esoterik - edited 1 times]

“You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.”
UER Forum > Private Boards Index > Relationships > Online dating (Viewed 27333 times)
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