Posted by L'Ali Agreed. I live in an are in smallish city that's mainly families. I'm actually a pretty quiet person, very shy to begin with, and I'm usually to focused on what I'm doing to even pay much attention to people around me. You'd have to hit me on the head to make me realize I'm being hit on. I also work in an business that is about 90% women. Having many friends who are married already, or just seeing what is out there is scary. It does get harder as you get older - I'm in my 30's. So ya I've tried the online thing before with very mixed results. I'd be interested in seeing a thread for the top 10 online dating reasons you won't respond to someone! LOL I've got a list already.

haha, I would like to read that list... I have never used a dating service before but could imagine that some of them must be terrible! haha..

also:

I also work in an business that is about 90% women.

SCORE!!!

Posted by mewthree haha, I would like to read that list... I have never used a dating service before but could imagine that some of them must be terrible! haha.. also: I also work in an business that is about 90% women. SCORE!!!

I'll start a thread...

Ya score for the guys. Work in publishing

Posted by Esoterik I had a profile on pof for 5 weeks before meeting someone and taking it down, and the only lie I encountered was women stating they were "divorced" in their profile when actually they were only separated. No thanks to that drama! Other than that the women were pretty up front with everything, as far as I could tell. Again I only look for 35 and up and I think the lying is a lot less with older folks. Just want to add that the trick to using it successfully is to get the in- person meet as soon as possible. No more than 2-3 message exchanges before getting the phone number or setting up the meet. You have to keep it moving fast! And never ever use the chat feature (that's just me though, I hate any kind of chat). Again the goal is to meet in person, and to do it quickly.

good tip! you dont wanna wind up in the friend zone... that's worse then failing.

Posted by Esoterik In any thread/discussion board about online dating you will get people bragging about how they have such insane game they can pull whoever they want anytime anyplace. Implying that people who use online dating are basement dwellers who have no other options.

Stop being butthurt, no one implied that anyone who dates online are basement dwellers, and no one implied they can get infinite game.

A few of us suggested it's sort of sad that even for basic MEETING PEOPLE that we're hearing a lot of excuses. I'm not saying I date everyone I run into on the street but I make a ton of new acquaintances just by getting out there and striking up conversations with people.

I have no doubt online dating is easier for someone with limited time and shyness, but I'm also one of those people for whom the entire idea of 'dating' is a turn off. I never set out to be with someone, and I don't like meeting anyone under the pretense of "I'm lonely, I want to be in a relationship" or know they're meeting me under those same guidelines. Or being set up by friends, can't stand that either.

I prefer friendships, and if something awesome happens, then great.

So yes, take us naysayers with a grain of salt too ;) everyone has their own preferences and reasons. I just feel some of you should get out and meet people on the street more. It's not as scary as you think, and you don't have to want to date someone to strike up conversation.

Posted by hydrotherapy Stop being butthurt, no one implied that anyone who dates online are basement dwellers, and no one implied they can get infinite game. A few of us suggested it's sort of sad that even for basic MEETING PEOPLE that we're hearing a lot of excuses. I'm not saying I date everyone I run into on the street but I make a ton of new acquaintances just by getting out there and striking up conversations with people. I have no doubt online dating is easier for someone with limited time and shyness, but I'm also one of those people for whom the entire idea of 'dating' is a turn off. I never set out to be with someone, and I don't like meeting anyone under the pretense of "I'm lonely, I want to be in a relationship" or know they're meeting me under those same guidelines. Or being set up by friends, can't stand that either. I prefer friendships, and if something awesome happens, then great. So yes, take us naysayers with a grain of salt too ;) everyone has their own preferences and reasons. I just feel some of you should get out and meet people on the street more. It's not as scary as you think, and you don't have to want to date someone to strike up conversation.

THANK YOU!

This one time, I met this chick in a raptor mask smoking on a balcony.
She was awesome.

Posted by Esoterik Implying that people who use online dating are basement dwellers who have no other options. The reality: Online dating is a supplement to meeting people in real life as well.

That was my point, and much of my childhood and teen years were spent playing games and computing... If you are really shy, online dating is a great way to break out of your shell and realize those daily opportunities that Hydro so eloquently mentioned.

Posted by Esoterik Just want to add that the trick to using it successfully is to get the in- person meet as soon as possible.

So true! I want to wine and dine or go do something, not find a chat/text buddy. I have enough of those already.

Posted by Shawn W. I'm going to close by kindly asking you to refrain from painting everyone with the same brush in the future, because everyone is different, and you should understand and respect that. Thank you.

Everyone IS different, and we should embrace it. Sorry if I offended you, but I have some anger towards psychology and psychotherapy in general, even though brief therapy has helped me with deaths of family members. I guess I have problems with categorizing people ALA the DSM... im sure the V will be very interesting.

Posted by hydrotherapy Stop being butthurt, no one implied that anyone who dates online are basement dwellers, and no one implied they can get infinite game. A few of us suggested it's sort of sad that even for basic MEETING PEOPLE that we're hearing a lot of excuses. I'm not saying I date everyone I run into on the street but I make a ton of new acquaintances just by getting out there and striking up conversations with people. I have no doubt online dating is easier for someone with limited time and shyness, but I'm also one of those people for whom the entire idea of 'dating' is a turn off. I never set out to be with someone, and I don't like meeting anyone under the pretense of "I'm lonely, I want to be in a relationship" or know they're meeting me under those same guidelines. Or being set up by friends, can't stand that either. I prefer friendships, and if something awesome happens, then great. So yes, take us naysayers with a grain of salt too ;) everyone has their own preferences and reasons. I just feel some of you should get out and meet people on the street more. It's not as scary as you think, and you don't have to want to date someone to strike up conversation.

Fine, but there was a definite judgmental vibe from some of the comments, like VBJag who was coming across like he was Casanova reincarnated, when he is actually a 22 year old college kid who has no excuse for not meeting women...... Now me, I am 43 with 2 teenage children. Almost every woman in my age range I have been interested in or meet in real life has a ring on her finger or has a boyfriend. I found online dating to be a fun way to interact with others "on the market." At least you know they are looking too!

Posted by Louie Everyone IS different, and we should embrace it. Sorry if I offended you, but I have some anger towards psychology and psychotherapy in general, even though brief therapy has helped me with deaths of family members. I guess I have problems with categorizing people ALA the DSM... im sure the V will be very interesting.

I look at those fields with some disdain, as well, partly due to my misdiagnosis of bipolar disorder, and the resulting prescription of lithium, which I was on for several years before taking myself off cold turkey in October 2001. The result? The world didn't end, and I've felt much more like I feel that I should.

Also, last year, at my mother's request, my GP referred me to a psychiatrist to treat the depression that I've felt, which, I'd like to note, is not clinical in nature. I went with an open mind, but found a "professional" who, after the initial 45-50 minute session, pretty much dismissed my AS diagnosis and was ready to diagnose clinical depression and prescribe medication to treat it, despite not having bothered to read my medical file. When I suggested that I was open to meds, but would like to try therapy first, she asked me why I was there in the first place if I wasn't going to use meds, and rather rudely explained that she didn't have time for 45 minute sessions every time, even showing me her appointment list to illustrate the point. My initial session turned out to be my only session with her, as when she asked if I wanted her to close my case, I said yes. I am a very intelligent and independent individual, and am not going to allow myself to be bullied, especially in matters pertaining to my health, both mental and physical, and/or talked down to, whether or not the bully has an MD or other doctorate.

Lets try to keep things to the topic now, or take it to PM, y'inz.

So- online dating- what's that all about?

Posted by hydrotherapy So- online dating- what's that all about?

Stalking and kidnapping... right?

Posted by Louie Stalking and kidnapping... right?

Only if you're lucky enough to get to the meeting in person stage!

Does meeting a hawt girl after I sold her something on craigslist count as online dating?

Posted by VBJag Does meeting a hawt girl after I sold her something on craigslist count as online dating?

yeah why not... you were just using the decoy/element of surprise method

Posted by VBJag Does meeting a hawt girl after I sold her something on craigslist count as online dating?

Quick clarification- meeting someone is not the same thing as dating. FYI.

I have a serious question for women on here who've actually used an online dating site. What things caught your attention in ads, and responses to your ad (including phrasing and intro)? Alternatively, what made you decide not to respond at all?

To guys who've had successful online dating experiences, what kinds of things did you say in your ads and responses, and how did you say it, to catch the attention of the women?

It is 100% about your picture.

What you say and what you type means fuck all.

They look at a pic and decide if they want to fuck you.


Plenty of ladies will say this is not true... they are LIARS!

Posted by maypost It is 100% about your picture. What you say and what you type means fuck all. They look at a pic and decide if they want to fuck you. Plenty of ladies will say this is not true... they are LIARS!

of course it is, there always has to be a sexual attraction (unless it's alcohol) for someone to sleep with someone or date them.

Posted by maypost It is 100% about your picture. What you say and what you type means fuck all. They look at a pic and decide if they want to fuck you. Plenty of ladies will say this is not true... they are LIARS!

Ok I don't totally disagree with you. Looks are important, its where a portion of your chemistry comes from, but not all. Most won't respond if there isn't a picture. We will decide right away that we won't sleep with you, for sure. But out there are a lot of very pretty women with not so hot men too, and not often the other way around. Know what will trump not the hottest guy out there - sense of humour. And what someone writes is important too.

If I didn't fear crucifixion, and it being a permanent part of the UER records, I'd share what I post about myself. You must be clear about who you are, short and sweet, clear what you want and have a lil fun in there. And since i'm editing this I agree with Esoterik's summary of what should be in a profile.

Edited due to not finishing one of my sentences LOL. Fuck I'm so tired.

To everyone in this thread: my photoshop retouch abilities are available at a UER discount of $60/hour.

Invest now! Fool people before they can fool you!