Posted by WarBird69 I'm sorry, but I gotta do this: http://4.bp.blogsp...s1600/bullshit.jpg

A meaningful relationship can provide so much more than sex. I agree with OP.

I fucked up too, I am no saint. I talked to other girls, said some inappropriate things and I didn't talk with her enough when she needed me to. I wasn't around enough and I didn't give her enough attention. I handled so many things the wrong way.

I can't win either way I'm the bad guy in all of this. But it is mostly if not all my fault. I'm not that great of a person. But sex has never been my objective. I hadn't had sex untill last year and it was with her. I was hoping she'd be the only person I slept with. Have a family etc. I'm not looking to score anything. I was single for 5 years before her and it was hard to stop being flirty. I'm over all that shit now and I know what I want, but it's too little too late.

I need to move on, I get it.

Posted by Intrinsic A meaningful relationship can provide so much more than sex. I agree with OP.

The part I'm calling BS on is:

I really don't care if I never sleep with anyone again.

I agree a meaningful relationship provides much more than just sex. But saying you don't care if you never have sex again is just...there's not even a word I can use to describe it. Dumb? Short sighted? Silly? Something you'll laugh at saying in a few months?

Posted by Lord Awesome I don't know if I am just retarded or what, but I was confused. I am done with her shit now and not speaking to her anymore.

You know what, people are nothing if not confusing and contradictory. most people go through life somewhere in the middle of knowing what they're doing about half the time, and just kind of winging it the other half.

she sounds like a confused, indecisive totally normal person who also happens to be a selfish bitch. did you do something to lose her affections? maybe, and that's your mirror to look into, but the fact is she's been two-faced and manipulative since breaking up with you. doesn't mean all the blame's on her, just pointing out that you're right in feeling like she's behaving really badly and doesn't really appear to have any conscious idea what she's doing.

you ask the question 'am i retarded?' -- probably not. you're confused, understandably so. i think the best thing you have said is "i am done with her"... and this is an important step you have to take. if she calls again, tell her that it's over -- no friendship, no romance, nothing. you're done and she has to respect that.

once that's done, you can move on and start healing from this mess. as the wounded party you're probably going to have thoughts and fantasies about her calling and apologizing and wanting to make everything right, wanting you back... but that kind of thinking may just draw this out. worst thing would be, if she DOES call you back and say all that and you get back together and then break up again somewhere down the road, because at the end of the day you were not right for each other and this entire episode is simply evidence of the fact.

Posted by Lord Awesome I'm not that great of a person.

you know what, there are few things like a failed relationship to hold a mirror to your life. the fucked up thing is, once you see it all clearly and can start making all the right changes, it's usually too late. best thing you can do is pick up the pieces and put yourself back together to be better than before, a better person. i think the fact that you can say "i'm not that great of a person" is important, and puts you pretty far ahead of a lot of people. owning up to whatever faults you might have had, shows that you really do care about your failings and want to do better next time. go for it -- be a better man. this is what "better" men do, they buck up and get their shit together and do it better the next time. sounds like you're already on that road.

While I don't feel like I'm armed with enough info to comment on the situation because I don't know the dynamic of your relationship (if one partner is more at fault than the other), it does seem to me that the two of you are only going to cause difficulties for each other in the near future.

I'm not saying to cut her out of your life as I'm sure that you probably still legitimately mean something to each other, and you're both just people who have made poor decisions as far as being together is concerned. I think that the only way to stop the head games between you two is time and distance.

and to Warbird- I just feel the need to say that some people honestly do not put a high priority on sex for a variety of reasons, and they could be truly ambivalent towards ever having it again.

Posted by Lord Awesome Well it's been 5 days since I have talked to/seen her. I think I am going through withdrawals. Alternating between being angry, upset, and confused I think.

It comes with the territory. I agree with what everyone else says. It would be shittier feeling those feelings while being with that person too. There are good women out there, she isn't it.

well I dont think getting back together with her would be fair to either of you...

when you acknowledge your faults and mistakes you get to try again with someone else trying to avoid making those mistakes again... getting back together with her doesn't give you that new chance... it continues the previous chance with those errors in mind... there aint no starting over.

No matter how long ago (supposing years down the road you are with her) she said and did those things... you will always know her to have the audacity to do so... just as she'll know you as the person who did what you did. No square ones happening with her no matter what the two of you say and agree on..



also, promise rings... yeah forget it, I'll leave my opinion on those out of this post.

Just an update on this situation. Abridged version: She got upset with the guy she left me for but wasn't officially dating, told me she was done with him, fucked me told me she loved me and begged me to cum inside of her. Then apparently because she didn't get pregnant, started dating the other guy a week later and told me to just get over it 3 weeks after that when she finally told me she was dating him.

Dude asked me if anything happened between us recently, I told him, now neither of them will speak to me and dude says it's my fault she cheated on him or some such. Meh.

Haven't spoken to them in over a month

Posted by Lord Awesome Haven't spoken to them in over a month

That bit is positive