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UER Forum > Private Boards Index > Humour > Science/Chemistry Jokes (Viewed 8931 times)
Harvestman 


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Everything about me has a poker face.

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Science/Chemistry Jokes
< on 11/1/2011 1:24 PM >
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Let's hear yours.



A boy is killed after he burns a lithium-ion battery. Oh well, that's LiFe.




Oh good, my slow clap processor made it into this thing.
MutantMandias 

Perverse and Often Baffling


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Are you a reporter? Contact me for a UE interview! Also not averse to the the idea of group/anal.

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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 1 on 11/1/2011 6:28 PM >
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The bartender says "We don't serve Tachyons here."

A Tachyon walks into a bar.




mutantMandias may cause dizziness, sexual nightmares, and sleep crime. ++++ mutantMandias has to return some videotapes ++++ Do not taunt mutantMandias

mutantMandias is something more than human, more than a computer. mutantMandias is a murderously intelligent, sensually self-programmed, non-being
Captain_Slow 

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Obviously capable of mediocre things.

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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 2 on 11/1/2011 9:11 PM >
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WarBird69 


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Atomic Bird of War

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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 3 on 11/1/2011 11:56 PM >
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One day on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno showed a classified add that read: "Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023."




When twilight draws near, when you are pushed to the very limits of your soul, when it seems that all you have left are the dead remnants of the fabric of your life:
-- BELIEVE
WarBird69 


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Atomic Bird of War

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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 4 on 11/1/2011 11:57 PM >
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Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel!




When twilight draws near, when you are pushed to the very limits of your soul, when it seems that all you have left are the dead remnants of the fabric of your life:
-- BELIEVE
metawaffle 

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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 5 on 11/2/2011 12:07 AM >
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What do we do when chemists die?

Barium!




http://www.longexposure.net
Tamara 


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Blindly Ever Onward

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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 6 on 11/2/2011 1:01 AM >
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A virus walks into the bar
The bar tender says "sorry we dont serve your type here"
the virus then says "well arent you a terrible host"


a bacteria walks into a bar
the bar tender says "sorry we dont serve your type here"
the bacteria says "but im Staph"

a room temperature thermistor walks into a bar
the bar tender says "sorry we dont serve yer kind here"
the room temperature thermistor does not resist.



Last joke, it's a one liner:

Tamara passes her chemistry exam by studying and not spending all night on uer.




blindly ever onward
Harvestman 


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Everything about me has a poker face.

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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 7 on 11/2/2011 2:27 AM >
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Posted by Tamara
Last joke, it's a one liner:

Tamara passes her chemistry exam by studying and not spending all night on uer.


That's nothing. Want to hear a good joke?

The UER moderation team.




Oh good, my slow clap processor made it into this thing.
Tamara 


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Blindly Ever Onward

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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 8 on 11/2/2011 3:52 AM >
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does my owl penis offend you?




blindly ever onward
Harvestman 


Location: Somewhere in SORTA/TANK Territory!
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Everything about me has a poker face.

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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 9 on 11/2/2011 9:29 PM >
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Posted by Tamara
does my owl penis offend you?


It's not exactly turgid.


I'm not being boring! Honest! I swear to <name of deity>!




Oh good, my slow clap processor made it into this thing.
Tamara 


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Blindly Ever Onward

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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 10 on 11/3/2011 1:01 AM >
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I was over whelmingly horny in chemistry this morning.




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KublaKhan 


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With Satan, it's always gimmie, gimmie.

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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 11 on 11/4/2011 9:32 PM >
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1 mol C 1 mol CO2 44.0 g CO2
1 g CH --------- ----------- ------------ = 3.38 g CO2
13 g CH 1 mol C 1 mol CO2


lol



[last edit 11/4/2011 9:33 PM by KublaKhan - edited 1 times]

"The truth is knowable. But probably not, ever, incontrovertible."
--Don DeLillo
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Tamara 


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Blindly Ever Onward

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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 12 on 11/5/2011 1:12 AM >
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Posted by KublaKhan
1 mol C 1 mol CO2 44.0 g CO2
1 g CH --------- ----------- ------------ = 3.38 g CO2
13 g CH 1 mol C 1 mol CO2


lol


thanks for coming out.




blindly ever onward
KublaKhan 


Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
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With Satan, it's always gimmie, gimmie.

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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 13 on 11/5/2011 11:36 AM >
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Posted by Tamara


thanks for coming out.


S'okay...I didn't get it the first time either.

This one is even funnier:

{F} = q[E + {v x B}]




"The truth is knowable. But probably not, ever, incontrovertible."
--Don DeLillo
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KublaKhan 


Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
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With Satan, it's always gimmie, gimmie.

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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 14 on 11/7/2011 12:30 PM >
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Posted on Forum: UER Forum




"The truth is knowable. But probably not, ever, incontrovertible."
--Don DeLillo
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Vic 


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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 15 on 11/7/2011 3:07 PM >
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All I have to say is "The Far Side".




KublaKhan 


Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Total Likes: 207 likes


With Satan, it's always gimmie, gimmie.

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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 16 on 11/7/2011 4:23 PM >
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A coth(x) = 1/tanh(x) = ( e x + e -x)/( e x - e -x ) walks into a bar and sits down beside a cosh 2(x) - sinh 2(x) = 1 and says "PE = ½k L 2."

The 2(x) - sinh 2(x) = 1 kicks the coth(x) = 1/tanh(x) = ( e x + e -x)/( e x - e -x ) in the arcsinh(z) = ln( z + sqrt(z 2 + 1) )

LOLROFL




"The truth is knowable. But probably not, ever, incontrovertible."
--Don DeLillo
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AnAppleSnail 


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ALL the flashlights!

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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 17 on 11/9/2011 6:14 AM >
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Posted by HarvestmanMan
Let's hear yours.



A boy is killed after he burns a lithium-ion battery. Oh well, that's LiFe.


But.. But... LiFePO4 cells stabilize the oxygen by bonding it to phosphorous so that it isn't released at elevated temperatures, reducing runaway instability.

What does a polar bear do in an alternating electric field?

Rotate.




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Tamara 


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Blindly Ever Onward

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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 18 on 11/9/2011 10:26 PM >
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What kinda of bear dissolves (deionize) in water?




blindly ever onward
AnAppleSnail 


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ALL the flashlights!

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Re: Science/Chemistry Jokes
< Reply # 19 on 11/9/2011 11:45 PM >
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Posted by Tamara
What kinda of bear dissolves (deionize) in water?


Also a polar bear.




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UER Forum > Private Boards Index > Humour > Science/Chemistry Jokes (Viewed 8931 times)
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