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UER Forum > Archived Canada: Ontario > Summer Breeze 04 - HERPES House (Viewed 1053 times)
Intrinsic 


Location: Collingwood
Gender: Male




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Summer Breeze 04 - HERPES House
< on 8/30/2011 8:00 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Dear Urban Explorer Community,

It has come to our attention that there is some discourse amongst explorers pertaining to the exploration of houses. To address this situation we are pleased to announce the creation of a new non-profit group titled HERPES.

Herpes is an acronym for "Houses Earning Respect, People Everywhere Smiling".

If you are against the posting of houses on a public internet community site, we think you may be in need of HERPES. Herpes is in a position to assist you in better appreciating the beauty of houses.

We understand that some of you may live in large urban areas where you must leave for work two hours early to adjust for highway traffic. We understand you may deal with smog alerts. We know that your home may be built in a subdivision where homes are crammed so tightly together to minimize space and maximize real estate profit that you can urinate off your back deck and it will land in your back-neighbours back yard pool.

Houses may not yield much interest to you because you may have many industrial locations to explore. After viewing the same industrial locations dozens of times as viewed by different photographers, wouldn't a nice case of HERPES be in order?

This isn't to say that industrial places aren't worthy of exploring, in fact they can offer the avid explorer hours of exploration that a house cannot. Hospitals and motels offer up some of the most titillating photographs that come as a result of spending hours exploring floor-by-floor.

Herpes does not, and will not discriminate. We believe that a good case of HERPES can bring a smile to everyone's face. We believe that industrial decay can meet historical decay without bias.

Before you scoff, hear us out... see things from behind our lens:

Picture yourself and your fellow HERPES support group taking a drive on a non-congested highway, travelling roads lined with lush green trees, birds chirping and freshwater lakes on both sides of the road.

You notice that as you travel further north, the houses have larger back yards, the air feels somewhat cleaner. You can begin to appreciate why your Uncle Fred drives four hours north every weekend just to spend a weekend at his camp.

But the houses... oh yes those houses... as you move further away from the large urban areas you can see how life was once lived from the backroads of rural Ontario.

The graveyards with markers belonging to children who died before their first birthday due to diptheria. Old sawmills that sprang to life along the edge of the lakes.

Still not convinced HERPES may be for you?

Picture a back road, and at the end of it is an old two storey Victorian-style house. From the outside it looks like it could be someone's seasonal home. However HERPES knows not to judge from outward appearances.

As you walk inside you are astounded by what you see.

Unlike the stripped down industrial locations you've become accustomed to, this house has actual possessions left inside of it. There are no signs that "Satan 666", "SWED" or "K-Radzz" stopped by with a can of aerosol paint and a bottle of beer.

No, our faithful HERPES prospect, inside you notice that it appears as if someone simply walked out the front door in the middle of a hot sunny day in 1978 and never returned.

There are plates on the kitchen table, cutlery beside them. The curtains still hang on the windows, their tattered remnants blowing in the wind. You can picture in your mind, what life was like 33 years ago.

You venture into the living room and notice the furniture is still in place. Newspapers dated 1978 rest on the floor. An old phonograph guards the corner, old vinyl waiting to be placed on the turntable and ready to sing their stories of love and sorrow to you.

HERPES begins to take form in your mind, you even catch yourself smiling somewhat. Oh, it doesn't smell like hydraulic oil and there is no morgue here, but you can feel history here.

Upstairs in the bedroom you find clothes still hanging from inside the closet. On the bed is a purse with its contents spilling out. No vandals have been here dear explorer... postcards from 1960 sent from a relative who is surely deceased today. Newspaper articles clipped out and put in an old water damaged album. From reading newspaper articles about the war you realize that the person who lived here had a son who fought in the war.

A hand operated sewing machine sits in the corner, it's needle and thread stand guard to hem any pair of pants that you would put under them. Old photographs hang on the wall, people whose lives are almost certainly ended in this lifetime. A will sits on the bed, from it you ascertain that the person who wrote it would have been 110 years old today. Handwritten letters to friends, rent receipts, birthday cards, you could read these things for hours.

Down the hallway (which is covered in blistering paint) you find an office. Inside, an old TRS 80 computer and floppy disks. Do they even sell 5.25 floppy disks you ponder? How did people survive in the era of a black and white computer display your friend laughs as he snaps a photo on his 8 mega-pixel cell phone.

Out in back you find an old car, its licence plate still attached. The car was last used in 1976. Oh the memories it could tell.

For the next hour you are thrown back in time, gone back 33 years. To some, a tear might come to their eyes as they poured over the photos of the children - their childhood encased in time in the bedrooms just down the hall.

It's voyeuristic in one way but thrilling in the other. No large industrial factory or drain can evoke such memories in you. Your last exploration revealed only that some guy named Ed liked to place nude pin-up girls inside his locker at the foundry where he worked.

You find yourself lost in time as you pour over the handwritten letters left in a shoebox. Your focus is suddenly broken by your friend grabbing your arm and asking why you didn't respond when they called your name?

You laugh it off, oh they were just some silly letters you respond.

So you leave, quite possibly the last person to have set foot inside this house within the last two decades. Ahhh fellow explorer, it's quite all right if you don't catch HERPES and join us in our appreciation. It's okay if you continue to mock us.

We will still appreciate the history of your hospitals, prisons and motels. Indeed!


However one thing is not up for debate and that is you pictured this house in your mind as you read our words on the screen. Your imagination put yourself in the midst of this house. For just a few moments we had you, cast back in time, in a house that is not purely a work of fiction.

Perhaps that small seed we've planted within your conscious will find nurture and the next time you pass a small abandoned house, you might find your eyes drawn to your rearview mirror.

TL/DR : Houses have appeal as well.

If you'd like to give the gift of herpes to a fellow explorer, memberships are available at a reduced rate for UER members.

(C) 2011 Houses Earning Respect, People Everywhere Smiling


And now without further delay we cast a fart in your general direction and dare post the unpostable. It's a house with crooked lines and all! Thanks to Jerm IX for this one.

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Thanks for looking

Brought to you by an Abba song that I used to enjoy playing in the car in the cassette tape era.

KingJalopy 


Location: Tulsa, OK
Gender: Male


I love manholes

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Re: Summer Breeze 04 - HERPES House
<Reply # 1 on 8/30/2011 8:24 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
This is absolutely fantastic!

I am almost positive you gave me herpes.

Drains, drains, drains, drains, drains.
KingJalopy 


Location: Tulsa, OK
Gender: Male


I love manholes

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Re: Summer Breeze 04 - HERPES House
<Reply # 2 on 8/30/2011 8:25 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
double post.



[last edit 8/30/2011 8:25 AM by KingJalopy - edited 1 times]

Drains, drains, drains, drains, drains.
jerm IX 


Location: Somewhere, Ontario, Canada
Gender: Male


If you can't find something nice to say...say it on UER.

Send Private Message | Send Email | http://myabandonmentissues.blogspot.com/
Re: Summer Breeze 04 - HERPES House
<Reply # 3 on 8/30/2011 11:41 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Truly excellent. This write up is sure to effectively spread HERPES. Well done.

Unfortunately, this house was destroyed last month.

http://www.uer.ca/...ow.asp?locid=30384
[last edit 8/30/2011 1:52 PM by jerm IX - edited 1 times]

http://myabandonmentissues.blogspot.ca/
ninja IX 


Location: Ontario
Gender: Female


Health care professional, artist, urban explorer and loving wife of jerm IX.

Send Private Message | Send Email | http://jermalism.blogspot.com/
Re: Summer Breeze 04 - HERPES House
<Reply # 4 on 8/30/2011 1:08 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
If jerm hadn't already infected me with HERPES, this would have done it!


http://myabandonmentissues.blogspot.com/
BatGirl 


Location: Oklahoma (AWOL Ontarian)
Gender: Female




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Re: Summer Breeze 04 - HERPES House
<Reply # 5 on 9/9/2011 6:47 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
I've had it for years, but it is certainly worth sharing... Hear here!!

Driven to Decay...
Frogster 


Location: Mississauga ON
Gender: Male


Either you run the day, or the day runs you!

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Re: Summer Breeze 04 - HERPES House
<Reply # 6 on 2/25/2012 12:58 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Wow, number nine with the pool was impressive. Love the way the water looks

dallas 


Location: seattle
Gender: Female


So long and thanks for all the fish

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Re: Summer Breeze 04 - HERPES House
<Reply # 7 on 2/25/2012 1:33 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Oooo oooo just recently i got herpes and i dont want the cure!

amazing wife to Narf. Don't look him up or ill cut you.
Skye_Ann 


Location: Kitchener, Ontario
Gender: Female


I seem to have Irritable Owl Syndrome...

Send Private Message | Send Email | History In Decay Blog
Re: Summer Breeze 04 - HERPES House
<Reply # 8 on 2/26/2012 5:54 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
I've had HERPES since my first bout with it when I was 12.. :$ YAY! ^_^

My Blog; https://historyindecay.blogspot.com/
UER Forum > Archived Canada: Ontario > Summer Breeze 04 - HERPES House (Viewed 1053 times)



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