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thingamabob
Location: Arizona Gender: Female Total Likes: 41 likes
| | | | Re: parents and exploring < Reply # 27 on 12/30/2017 9:59 AM > | Reply with Quote
| | | While I'll fully admit that I am currently very libated and have stopped reading after the first 4 posts all together; here is my situation and how I deal. I too am a millennial and live with my parents, however it is slightly different because one is -VERY- disabled and unable to work and I am effectively the breadwinner. However, my mother will and always will be my mother. If I need her to know where I'm going, she'll know. If I don't, or am simply just trying to protect her, but I know that she knows I'm up to something, I'll leave my computer unlocked and on maps with a pinpoint of where I intend to be, with a time frame of when to hear from me. It settles her anxiety, and allows me my freedom.
That being said, I'm not telling you to lie. I merely state that I am going out and will be with so and so. Less information exchange the better.
| But if you are going artsy, then you're going all the way. Someone's cutting off an ear! |
| Soof
Location: MA Gender: Male Total Likes: 42 likes
| | | Re: parents and exploring < Reply # 29 on 1/2/2018 4:13 AM > | Reply with Quote
| | | Posted by UberDan
You'll be 30 eventually, assuming you don't die. A misdemeanor can be enough to hurt any kind of chance at a job, especially an entry level one.
| To the first statement: the sky is blue. To the second statement: perhaps you failed to read my response, but the reality is that that is simply not a concern we must bear. I understand you cannot relate, but if you went up to a handful of teenagers and informed them that their wrongful actions may negatively impact their occupations 15 years down the road, you'd get a nice combination of laughter and scoffs in return. In other words, your hindsight bias is really preventing you from seeing the OP's perspective. That perspective being the reality amongst people our age. Posted by UberDan
Lying to your parents and lying to police/security are two different things. One lesson I have learned from exploring and life in general is trust. You can trust that your partner will always have your back on an explore. You can trust that the info on UER is (mostly) correct, right? Your parents trust that you will make the right decision. Why waste your energy lying about some silly nonsense and get yourself out in the world.
| This thread is about lying to parents, not police, so I cannot see how that is relevant. I was in no way stating that the OP should lie to cops. Context helps. I trust my parents. I also trust the fact that they can be overly strict. Given that the said young adult will be prevented (in full or to an extent) from exploring upon confessing/opening up (which has been stated starting with the first post), if you can find some magical way to be honest and maintain full ability to explore, I'd love to hear it. Pretty hard to "get yourself out in the world" if being forthcoming will prevent you from doing just that. If it was as simple as you make it sound I would definitely cut it with the silly nonsense. Unforunately, it's not. Posted by 2Xplorations I still cant understand why somebody 18yrs old thinks of themselves as a "kid"
| Just because I'm now a legal adult doesn't mean I suddenly have to hold the same status as someone that's 40. A handful of months ago, I was 17. Are you not a kid when you're 17? When you think of people in high school, do you not think of them as kids? I live under my parents' roof and do not yet have to pay my own bills. If we're going to focus on such literal aspects, as it apparently seems we are, why don't those two things (merely two of many) qualify me as a kid? The whole problem with older generations vs. younger ones (or "millennials" if you prefer to use a label that embodies the social habits that older generations are unable to understand and adapt to) is that we are suddenly expected to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders as soon as we're 18. Might have been true once. Times change. All of that aside, I used "kid" when referring to the OP simply as a form of casual speech. Wouldn't hurt to see the big picture as opposed to taking small, less significant, out-of-context bits of info way too literally...
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| Explorer Zero
Total Likes: 2026 likes
| | | | Re: parents and exploring < Reply # 30 on 1/2/2018 5:41 AM > | Reply with Quote
| | | Posted by Soof
To the first statement: the sky is blue. To the second statement: perhaps you failed to read my response, but the reality is that that is simply not a concern we must bear. I understand you cannot relate, but if you went up to a handful of teenagers and informed them that their wrongful actions may negatively impact their occupations 15 years down the road, you'd get a nice combination of laughter and scoffs in return. In other words, your hindsight bias is really preventing you from seeing the OP's perspective. That perspective being the reality amongst people our age.
This thread is about lying to parents, not police, so I cannot see how that is relevant. I was in no way stating that the OP should lie to cops. Context helps. I trust my parents. I also trust the fact that they can be overly strict. Given that the said young adult will be prevented (in full or to an extent) from exploring upon confessing/opening up (which has been stated starting with the first post), if you can find some magical way to be honest and maintain full ability to explore, I'd love to hear it. Pretty hard to "get yourself out in the world" if being forthcoming will prevent you from doing just that. If it was as simple as you make it sound I would definitely cut it with the silly nonsense. Unforunately, it's not.
Just because I'm now a legal adult doesn't mean I suddenly have to hold the same status as someone that's 40. A handful of months ago, I was 17. Are you not a kid when you're 17? When you think of people in high school, do you not think of them as kids? I live under my parents' roof and do not yet have to pay my own bills. If we're going to focus on such literal aspects, as it apparently seems we are, why don't those two things (merely two of many) qualify me as a kid? The whole problem with older generations vs. younger ones (or "millennials" if you prefer to use a label that embodies the social habits that older generations are unable to understand and adapt to) is that we are suddenly expected to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders as soon as we're 18. Might have been true once. Times change. All of that aside, I used "kid" when referring to the OP simply as a form of casual speech.
Wouldn't hurt to see the big picture as opposed to taking small, less significant, out-of-context bits of info way too literally...
| Being whiney is what qualifies some 18yr olds as kids.
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| sanctive
Location: MSP Gender: Male Total Likes: 78 likes
| | | Re: parents and exploring < Reply # 38 on 1/6/2018 5:47 AM > | Reply with Quote
| | | Posted by jeepdave I explore within legal means 90% of the time. Also, if you want full control of your life you have to fully be independent. Less someone helps/supports you (be it parents/government) the more freedom you have to do what you wish.
| I agree, there's definitely an inverse proportion of parent's support and personal freedom. Right now I've basically been exploring on the down low, trying not to lie about it. My dad is the one who's most harsh about it, but my mom hasn't seemed to care as much lately. Also my dad isn't around as much so it makes things a little easier. Exploring overnight has kinda been my main solution, since I just tell my parents I'm going to a friend's house for the night. It's not even a lie because eventually we do hangout at that person's house, we just explore for awhile beforehand. Also since my work start and end times can vary, I can usually get off work and go hit some shit before my parents start to get too suspicious. So yeah, I respect my parents a lot and my goal is to do as little lying to them as possible, if not any lying. If I do have to "lie" then I'll literally just tell them I'm hanging with friends, which technically is correct I'm just being super vague about it. I appreciate yall's input, I don't mind the criticism. I'm definitely not one of those newly turned 18 year olds who thinks they should have the right to do anything despite still being supported by their parents. Goes back to what jeepdave said about independence.
| constants are changing... |
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