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How can you tell if somebody is interested in you, and not just a nice person? Likewise, how do you go about letting someone know you're interested in them without coming off as creepy or desperate? I'm really clueless when it comes to these matters.
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Posted by Neptune
How can you tell if somebody is interested in you, and not just a nice person? Likewise, how do you go about letting someone know you're interested in them without coming off as creepy or desperate? I'm really clueless when it comes to these matters.
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If you are a female, just let them know. Most of us guys are too stupid to figure it out.
If your a male, wait for them to tell you.
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Be mature and talk to them about it? Otherwise you'll have to tell us about the situation.
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Generally, people who don't ask you out directly will go out of their way to do things for you, spend an inordinate amount of time talking to you and/or frequently compliment you to indicate interest. Then again, none of these necessarily mean that they are interested in a romantic/sexual relationship, so it's a slow awkward tango of mutual flirtation and subtle hints until one of you becomes confident enough to spell it out.
reckless thoughts abide; anachronistic and impulsive.
loosely jacketed against the cold and ten thousand worlds for the choosing. |
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Posted by MonkeyPunchBaby
If you are a female, just let them know. Most of us guys are too stupid to figure it out.
If your a male, wait for them to tell you.
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i could not have said it better. ^
When I say I'm 'clean and sober', it means I've showered and I'm headed to the liquor store. |
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I didn't want to turn this into a tl;dr situation, but I 'spose some back story is necessary. I met a friend of a friend a few months ago while bowling. He was nice, really funny, and easy to talk to. We became facebook friends and exchanged phone numbers, ya know, casual acquaintance routine things. Every so often he writes funny comments on my facebook and texts me inside jokes. Today while I was out for a run, he drove past me and hung half way out of his car window to wave and yell "hey!" Later he asked how my run was and told me why he was all the way out in my neighborhood. (I live in the boonies)
This is somebody who I would really like to get to know better, but I'm really not sure how to go about letting him know without being awkward. He's a really nice guy so I don't know if the texts are just a nice guy thing, or if there may be a mutual interest. I guess it's also worth noting that I'm legally blind so reading body language is sometimes difficult for me, so I may have missed something while bowling.
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One suggestion that I'd like to make is if there's mutual interest, and you two have a deep conversation, don't assume that he's a murderer/fruitcake/etc. if he tells you about really stupid things that he did several years ago. 
What is a rebel? A man who says no. - Albert Camus |
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Posted by MonkeyPunchBaby
...just let them know. Most of us guys are too stupid to figure it out.
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What he said.
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I agree with the majority here (I think?); you're probably best just asking to go on a date. I think it's easier to say "hey I'd really like to see a movie with you or grab a drink sometime" than it is to say "hey I like you, are you into me too?"
I'm not sure what the people who posted above me meant - it sounds like they think you should just walk up to the guy and spill your guts. I'm going to say that's probably not your best course of action.
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Ask him if he wants to go get a drink with you some time, he'll pick up that you're interested.
“You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.” |
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Being mildly autistic on top of already being the type of guy MonkeyPunch already outlined, I experience this problem a lot myself. Although my awareness and intuition are very keen, I am blind to people's intentions and am poor at communicating my own.
Personally, I have to resort to Yield's above method: spend some alone time together, get to know one another, and create type of the situation from which you'll be able to spell things out.
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heinrick and yield are onto something here. and i wish to add to shawns post "but make sure you do a credit and criminal background check on him."
When I say I'm 'clean and sober', it means I've showered and I'm headed to the liquor store. |
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Thanks everyone. Next time the opportunity arises I think I'll ask if he would like to go bowling again or grab a drink. I just don't want to sketch him out since we're part of the same group of friends and I'm sure I'll be seeing him again at some point. Of course I'll let everyone know how it goes down.
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i wish to vote against a movie date, as its not polite to talk during a movie. and talking to each other at this point in whats needed. may a fair of some kind or another social type event, a group meeting may not work as planned.
bar hopping is not a good idea imho btw, and a meal/dinner? kinda puts him under the buss as far as $ wise goes. i like coffee- thats what i do... but then if coffee goes well, then its on from there.
[last edit 4/29/2011 4:14 AM by cdevon - edited 1 times]
When I say I'm 'clean and sober', it means I've showered and I'm headed to the liquor store. |
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Posted by cdevon
i wish to vote against a movie date, as its not polite to talk during a movie. and talking to each other at this point in whats needed. may a fair of some kind or another social type event, a group meeting may not work as planned.
bar hopping is not a good idea imho btw, and a meal/dinner? kinda puts him under the buss as far as $ wise goes. i like coffee- thats what i do... but then if coffee goes well, then its on from there.
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I agree with all of this. A fair is a great idea, if there happens to be one in your area at the time.
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~Doesn't give a fuck, total badass, and one of my ue-besties.
~Genuine, has positive character and this thing called integrity. Knows when to be serious. Passionate about productive things. Human being. ~fish fish boxing boxing bestest friend evah |
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I once read somewhere that dinner and a movie are a bad first date. Because while eating you won't talk much and during a movie you shouldn't talk. I agree with cdevon on this, maybe even bowling. Where I live we have a pretty big mall, with a ton of different things inside of it including a food court and go kart track and Dave & busters and laser tag etc etc. I have always enjoyed going to the mall on a first date bc it gives you so many things to play around with and the chances for conversation are much higher.
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Posted by MonkeyPunchBaby
I once read somewhere that dinner and a movie are a bad first date. Because while eating you won't talk much and during a movie you shouldn't talk. I agree with cdevon on this, maybe even bowling. Where I live we have a pretty big mall, with a ton of different things inside of it including a food court and go kart track and Dave & busters and laser tag etc etc. I have always enjoyed going to the mall on a first date bc it gives you so many things to play around with and the chances for conversation are much higher.
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laser tag = best first date ever.
Yield's Peer Review:
~Doesn't give a fuck, total badass, and one of my ue-besties.
~Genuine, has positive character and this thing called integrity. Knows when to be serious. Passionate about productive things. Human being. ~fish fish boxing boxing bestest friend evah |
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Posted by Neptune
Likewise, how do you go about letting someone know you're interested in them without coming off as creepy or desperate?
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Tell them they have nice eyes and leer a lot until they either get the hint or start to edge away from you.
Works for me, each time!
Get down, girl, go 'head, get down. |
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Posted by Yield
laser tag = best first date ever.
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+1
reckless thoughts abide; anachronistic and impulsive.
loosely jacketed against the cold and ten thousand worlds for the choosing. |
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A)Next time you see him, walk up and put your hand down his pants.
It's basically foolproof. You don't even have to say anything. He'll know RIGHT AWAY that you're interested. (and you'll know pretty quickly if he's interested too)
 Flirt. Giggle. Give him the look (yes, the one that doesn't exist). Maintain eye contact. Use your womanly ways in your body language.
C) Say, "I think you're pretty awesome, bro"
D) Walk up and dump a glass of water on him, then tell him you should get him home and out of his wet clothes.
Good luck!
Give a person a match and they'll be warm for a minute, but light them on fire and they'll be warm for the rest of their life. =) |
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