Posted by underdark I like you more all the time. Can we wrap it around some sausage and then eat it?

THREESOME ALERT

Can I come?

Posted by KublaKhan THREESOME ALERT Can I come?

Works for me.

She's god,and I'm doing press. Pick a job, and pull up a bacon-wrapped sacrament of dead cow.

Posted by underdark Works for me. She's god,and I'm doing press. Pick a job, and pull up a bacon-wrapped sacrament of dead cow.

What kind of sick weirdo shit are you into?

Posted by KublaKhan What kind of sick weirdo shit are you into?

Umm....yes.

http://video.googl...e=search&plindex=3

And as for Scientology, look into the OTO and Jack parsons. I will also say this much, I have been arrested by the fuckers and held at one of their bunkers. No joke on that.

Posted by earthworm I have been arrested by the fuckers and held at one of their bunkers. No joke on that.

I demand that story! Tell tell!

Posted by Trixie_Sparrow I demand that story! Tell tell!

No shit. details. Good ones.

Don't hold out on me man...

Alright, here's less than half of it.

I’ve had an interest in scientology going back to the day I found one of the older editions of the book on scientology ethics on the side of the freeway when I was in high school. That book contributed a great deal to my education on the subject of control cults. I still have some sections memorized, and some lectures that Hubbard gave on OT 3 and the “wall of fire”, as well as on SeaOrg.

So after reading a little about the bunker the scientologist maintain in New Mexico I did a little research. The article I read mentioned that they also maintained other bunkers containing the complete works of L. Ron Hubbard engraved onto titanium tablets encased in stainless steal tubes buried in bunkers said to be able to withstand a direct hit from a 15 Kiloton blast. One of these bunkers is near Monterrey; the other is near Big Bear. I located the one near Big Bear, and it just happened to be walking distance from my ex-girlfriends cabin. Upon finding this out I tell her that it’s time for a trip.

We go up there, and I had told her of my plan to check the place out. I even got her to lend me her new digital camera for this little exploit. At first I scouted the parameter from the road on foot, and found evidence that it was in fact a secret compound of sorts. They didn’t out right use the scientologist names and symbols; they used the name The Church of Spiritual Technology, one of their alternate names.

This compound had giant iron fences made with straight vertical bars that were curved at the top to jut their sharp ends towards the ground. The fence was easily fifteen feet high, and had what looked like electrical components strung across the middle section. Stretched across the top were several rolls of razor wire. Giant out dated security cameras with even bigger infrared lamps were set up at key positions watching the road. As I walked by all this I noticed something they had over looked; there was a gully that passed under the road.

MORE! MORE!

Yeah, no kidding. Don't stop there!!

AND KATIE HOLMES HAS BECOME PREGNANT ONCE AGAIN.

If this religion gets me close enough to Tom Cruise that I can actually fuck him, then I'll join up RIGHT NOW.

KK, man. Aww shit man....

Fuck Tom Cruise? Shit man, what the hell...

Gotta tell ya man, I just lost alot of my respect for ya bro...

_{How can anyone say that, I mean shit.}

I demand the rest of the story!

Posted by Trixie_Sparrow I demand the rest of the story!

She said it
I agree with it
That settles it.
(besides she's hawt)

MORE STORY!

Posted by underdark KK, man. Aww shit man.... Fuck Tom Cruise? Shit man, what the hell... Gotta tell ya man, I just lost alot of my respect for ya bro... How can anyone say that, I mean shit.

Yes. Tom Cruise. Just to see his expression. To see if he is in fact capable of making a face beyond his shitty actor-face thing.

Here is a little more. I'm about half way now...


I went into the woods at a lower elevation, and up the wash that lead to the drain. I wasn’t sure if they knew about this drain, or if they had it some how blocked or if it was under surveillance, so I was cautious. I went up the drain very slowly, stopping at every crunch of a leaf and at every spider web that crossed my path. After spending a good deal of time going through the corrugated steel pipe I emerged in a gully on the other side. I was out of sight of the cameras and within their property.

Once I got my bearings I found an old fire trail and kept just off of it; I didn’t want to sneak up on some scientologist that was out for a walk or doing some mundane chore. I managed to get a good look at a group of cabins, but seeing no military looking structures I kept up my patrol. Every once and a while in the woods I would run into a concrete power box. I must have run into four or five in a very small area.

As the road got closer to the cabins I noticed that there is another smaller but no less intimidating inner fence around the cabins. The road snaked right to the very wall of one of the cabins and I was able to peer in through a window at a very normal looking office (albeit with Dianetics posters). Right above the window there was another huge camera with an infrared lamp pointed at the main road.

At this point I thought to myself that this place must just be some slightly off, but basically normal retreat. I found very little evidence of it being a bunker, so I continued through the woods towards the main road. Once on the road I thought, “What harm could a few pictures in plain sight of the cameras do? I am on public land now...” and I took some pictures right in front of what I thought were low rez video cameras.

I continued on my merry way and passed a huge water tank of some sort to get some other pictures of some of the “hidden” cameras. Just as I rounded the corner I heard from behind, “STOP!!!”

I turned to see a fat ass security guard who had just broken a run walking towards me. I could tell that this guy was in bad shape by the fact that he was holding his belt and looking at the ground as he advanced. I shouted back at him, “Is there a problem?”

Picking up his fat skull he only managed to yell back at me, “De cam-mehr-ruh!”

I wanted him to be lulled into a false sense of security, so I waited for him to take a few more steps before I yelled at the top of my voice “FUCK XENU!!!” And run as fast as I could into the woods.

Most of the running was just a blur. I jumped over a chain strung across a small road; through bushes; over fallen trees. I ended up getting to a cliff that must have been fifteen feet tall, below which was a busy two lane road right at a blind curve. Without giving it a second thought what so ever I jumped off. My foot got caught in a trees root that made a perfect hoop and jerked down the rest of the way. Without even looking I got up to run across the road and at full speed I jumped up the 10 foot cliff on the other side in two bounds.

I continued running through the woods; down gullies; around back yards of cabins and finally to a dirt road. Just as I got to it a white SUV pulled up with the scientologist security logo on it.

Holy shit.

Dude, MORE.

Where in your story does the rabid army of Tom Cruise clones descend on you in a mad chase through the forrest?

And is there a Beck song in any of this? And does John Travolta fly the plane carrying you to Gitmo...? And does Christie Alley stuff you with Scientology cup cakes?

C'mon!