So Toodles, age three, helps Daddy make lunch and he does a fairly decent job with the 'setting the table' thing and then I ask him, "What would you like for lunch?"

"I want a fucking bagel, Daddy."

I said, "Pardon?"

"I want a fucking bagel, Daddy...please."

And I'm thinking 'This ISN'T happening.'

Posted by KublaKhan And I'm thinking 'This ISN'T happening.'

Oh and it is. Wait until it happens in the line at the grocery store. Trust me it gets better.

Posted by KublaKhan And I'm thinking 'This ISN'T happening.'

Thankfully my tot is only 2, and the only thing I worried about is her trying to pronounce CLOCK... doesn't work out well for her, and I've had a lot of people giggle and some even get offended when she says it.

Yes, she says COCK .. geesh

My husband and his buddies really need to be careful with what they say and will never learn. Always at my expense it seems. Austin and I were in the line at the the grocery store one day when a cute girl behind us struck up a conversation with him. After they discussed the finer points of chewing gum and match box cars he looks at her and says "Is that a store bought rack or were you blessed with those boobs?" Holy!!!! overwhelming need to barf on the spot then go home and super glue his father's mouth shut.

Holy Christ

Posted by shellyl My husband and his buddies really need to be careful with what they say and will never learn. Always at my expense it seems. Austin and I were in the line at the the grocery store one day when a cute girl behind us struck up a conversation with him. After they discussed the finer points of chewing gum and match box cars he looks at her and says "Is that a store bought rack or were you blessed with those boobs?" Holy!!!! overwhelming need to barf on the spot then go home and super glue his father's mouth shut.

HAHAH. Omg, I'm sorry to laugh, but that is really funny.

Ugh, I couldn't IMAGINE being in that situation... I think I would barf also!

Posted by shellyl Oh and it is. Wait until it happens in the line at the grocery store. Trust me it gets better.

Well...the In-laws arrive in two days. I've removed all signs/evidence of bagels in the house until after they leave.

Posted by KublaKhan Well...the In-laws arrive in two days. I've removed all signs/evidence of bagels in the house until after they leave.

Very good idea. Let us know if the pre-planning pays off.

Posted by KublaKhan Well...the In-laws arrive in two days. I've removed all signs/evidence of bagels in the house until after they leave.

Hahhaa

Any idea how the fuck the little fuckers learned to use such fucking language?

Posted by MutantMandias Any idea how the fuck the little fuckers learned to use such fucking language?

Who fucking knows.


My daughter (who is 2) just said Fuck today... I was playing Mortal Combat, and couldn't get past the next level..

She won't be saying that again... and neither will I.

Urgh.

Posted by MutantMandias Any idea how the fuck the little fuckers learned to use such fucking language?

Has absolutely NOTHING to do with his father's Irishness, nor his father's inability to use other less profound statements to illustrate his frustration.

Nothing at all.

My 2 year old has literal "Shit" fits, where he just walks around saying "Shit"


Oh, and when something like falling off the couch happens, he goes "Shit, what the fuck!!"

My wife and I have had a very close eye on our language as a result.

Of course the good news, if there is in fact any good news about any of this, is that he uses such words/phrases in the correct context.

My wife and I discussed this last night, after the in-laws left, and I was told that he (Toodles) sounds exactly like me when he gets frustrated.

He actually said 'Oh ferfucksakes' when the wheels fell off some thingy he was playing with.

He actually said 'Why won't this fucking thing open?' when he was trying to pull some thingy out of a box.

The only difference between hearing him and hearing me say the same things, my wife informed me, was the tone and pitch of the voice.

This can't be good. Does this require that I modify my mode of expression?

It doesn't matter one tiny bit what you do at this point.

Posted by MutantMandias It doesn't matter one tiny bit what you do at this point.

You're really not fucking helping fuck.

I don't think that there is much at that age you can do. Until they get a little older and understand you are pretty much stuck.

My daughter went through the "Naughty" stage but not as public as her brother. At about 4 years old she was picking up her toys and putting them in her pink basket. Since the basket was as big as she was it was a tough go. "Mommy you said I am a big girl I can do this watch me" She attempted to carry it to her room and was sure she did not want any help. Well she spilled the toys half way there. Stopped dead in her tracks, hands on her hips and belted out "Son of a bitch" She them loaded the basket back up and tried again. Three times before she reached her room she spilled it and with the same stance and phrase. I had all I could do not to roll on the floor laughing. She sounded just like a mini me. She finally made it to her doorway and spilled it one last time, only this time she throws her hands in the air a says "Awwwwww Fuuuuuck it!"

After I composed myself I tried to explain that some words are only said by big people and she will have to wait until then to say them and mommy will try harder not to say them also. She looked up at me and said "You just told me I am a big girl and I should help pick up my messes, make up your mind. Am I big or little?" The first thing that came to mind was "Aw fuck it" but I didn't say it.

It's all good that we, as parents, find it amusing. And seriously, who's going to be offended...? A stranger? I'm less concerned with my son's use of profanity, so long as it's in the correct and appropriate context, than I am with other more odious words/phrases. Racial epithets are verboten, as are words/comments that disparage women, queer people, handicapped people, etc.

Fuck is a great word when used properly, and I will always encourage my son to explore and utilize a robust vocabulary. The instant I hear him say 'nigger,' which he will say, he will be corrected. Instantly.

Posted by KublaKhan It's all good that we, as parents, find it amusing. And seriously, who's going to be offended...? A stranger? I'm less concerned with my son's use of profanity, so long as it's in the correct and appropriate context, than I am with other more odious words/phrases. Racial epithets are verboten, as are words/comments that disparage women, queer people, handicapped people, etc. Fuck is a great word when used properly, and I will always encourage my son to explore and utilize a robust vocabulary. The instant I hear him say 'nigger,' which he will say, he will be corrected. Instantly.

Agreed

Posted by KublaKhan The instant I hear him say 'nigger,' which he will say, he will be corrected.

Why the fuck would he say that? Does he hear it from you?