Okay, I am tired of doing favors for people that just expect them. My best friend (non explorer) is one of these people.

She calls Billy (my fiancé) or I every time she needs help with something. Two weeks ago our phone rang at 3am because she had a bat in her house. She calls when she has mice, toilet leaks, lawn mower won't start, water in her basement, & or anything else under the sun. She also has dinner at our house twice a week because she doesn't know how to cook. She has a $40,000 kitchen & still won't attempt to use anything in her kitchen but the microwave unless her Mom comes to visit & cooks for her.

Anyways, My friend & her Mom are going to Mexico tomorrow to visit her Aunt for 11 days. She asked me to get her mail while she is gone. No problem. Then asks if it rains if I could close two of her windows. No problem! Now, she leaves me a list of what plants she needs watered on what days. So, That's not bad enough..

Last night she called & told me her Mom was coming to her house today. (her mom lives an hour away) My friend had to work until 7pm tonight. She asks me if I can pick up her Mom from her house & drop her Mom off at her work ( about a half hour away) so she won't have to drive home & she can head straight to Baltimore. She doesn't want to drive back to Palmyra to get her Mom then drive back to Harrisburg. I tell her I had plans which at the time I did. So, She asks ..Do you think Billy can? I told her to call him. He tells her he already made plans for tonight. So she called back in a huff because she asked her cousin to pick her Mom up & her cousin replied..That she couldn't because her kids had a game tonight. My friend, said well they go to everyone of her kids games & that she can miss one. I didn't reply.

So now she tells me don't worry about giving her Mom a ride because she will just come home & get her. I thought her flight was leaving tonight the way she was acting. Then I find out that they are driving to a mutual friend of ours, sleeping at his house, he is taking a half day off from work to drive them to the airport for a 1pm flight because she doesn't want to pay for parking.

So, this morning at 7am my friend Kim calls me. Her fridge/freezer died & she wanted to know if I could go save her food. She didn't know what to to so she called Billy first & he gave her the number of a repairman. Billy called me to make sure that I got Kim's call & knew where the coolers were. So, I head to Kim's with coolers & ice. I salvaged what I could of the food. Kim asks me if I can wait until the repairman gets there. I had no problem doing this for her. Kim had a rough week so while I was waiting I cleaned her house from top to bottom. I was there for 5 hours so I was killing time. No big deal. So, the repair guy comes & he fixes her fridge.

On my way home, My phone rings & its my other friend, the one I am checking her mail for. She asked what I was doing. I explained I was driving home from Kim's & I was exhausted from the whole fridge fiasco & that I didn't go to bed until 4:30 am because of my meds... Her reply was, Gee, couldn't Kim call someone else that's kind of rude of her to call you for something like that! What????
I bite my tongue because this coming from the person who we are always helping!
I told her that I didn't mind because kim would do the same for me.

My friend asks me if I still had my plans for the evening. I told her I didn't think I was going to go out since I was so tired from today. Then she asks me if I canceled my plans if I would pick her Mom up & take her to her work!!!!

I wanted to say to her..you're fucking unbelievable but I didn't! I said I didn't cancel my plans as of yet so I didnt know what I was doing. I wanted to spit nails. Thank god @ that moment I had another incoming call & that I would call her back.


I called her back but got her voice mail (thank god) & told her that I couldn't pick her Mom up because I still had plans. (which I canceled but she doesn't know)


Anyways. Am I wrong??? I'm so pissed!

Run far away and learn to use slydial! (google slydial, it allows you to call straight to voicemail)

Oh and cut up your credit cards and sign up for some Hindu Yoga ( not the YMCA shit). It has been shown to help with stress and shopping is just a addiction anyways =)

PS.. We have another friend Terry ... He would take my friend to the Hershey Bear Hockey Games. He had box seats which are expensive. If we ever used the tickets we would treat him to dinner & drinks. The seats were awesome.

Anyways, So every time it was her turn to pay she would use a coupon for Terry's dinner! Then she would call him & ask if she could have the tickets if he wasnt going so she could take her nephew because she didn't want to buy tickets.

Needles to say, He told her he at he couldn't afford all four box seats & if she wanted one, she would have to buy her own this year or if she wanted to split the seats she can pay half. She said no, she can't afford it.


So, she called him to see if she could use his tickets for a game. He called her back & left a message that he didn't get box seats this year!

I found out that Terry did get box seats this year & that he told my friend he didn't get them because she takes advantage of him.

Try this:

When they ask for something tell them, "No, sorry. I'm not available to help at this time. Good luck".

"Look! I would love to help you, but I am up to my eyeballs in muff right now!"

1st - there's nothing wrong with coupons.

2nd - Just start effing it up. Pick her mom up late and take her to the wrong airport, or catch the bat and break something in the process, drown a plant, something.

She is an abusive friend, and doing favors on top of those requested seems to encourage her behavior...

Paisley, you sound a lot like I used to be.

One week I took a vacation and just stayed home to catch up on some things around the house. People were calling me everyday, thinking that because I was on vacation that I had time to sit at their homes to wait for cable to come, babysit, feed their dogs, etc.

I went back to work and bitched about everything that happened on my vacation.

My boss looked at me and said "Debi, don't blame them. People can only take advantage of you if you let them."

And she was right. Start turning them down and after a while they will realize that they can't do this to you anymore.

its all because of..



and you know this!


Oh Pais? can you come clean up my dog poop?

Kill her...?

Hersey Bears Hockey!!! Can I mooch off your friend too??

Hang in there....all the stuff you do for people comes back around to you in some amazing ways later on down the road. You just have to recognize it when it happens.

~hugs~

I was hoping my excuse for all occasions would work out, but I guess not. I suppose you could change muff with sausage. I don't know if it is as powerful a statement then. Hmmmm.

Thanks guys for all the feedback. I always try to do the right thing as I believe in karma!



Don't get me wrong! I love my friend to death but it gets old after awhile. I never complained about this before to anyone.

I don't mind doing favors here & there but its something every week.


I've only asked her for two favors since I met her.

1. I drove Billy's Corvette to work & the battery died. I called to see if she could pick me up & drop me off so I wouldn't be late. I had to be at work by 8:30. When I called her she was like..Ummm It's my late day. I don't start until 10:30. Can't you call Billy's parents.


2. She went to Atlantic city on a bus trip for a day. I kindly asked her to stop by the Lush store to pick up some facial cleanser as I was almost out. I told her I would give her the money ahead of time & even call the store to have it ready so she wouldn't have to wait. She said she that she didn't know if she would get down that way or have time to stop. So, I told her forget it & ended up going to Clinque & buying a different product.

It just pisses me off that she is so selfish when it comes to her friends & we all go out of the way for her.

Posted by MindHacker 1st - there's nothing wrong with coupons.

I see no issue with using coupons for dinner but when the person you are buying dinner for paid $700 for the seat you use @ every hockey game, I think paying full price for a dinner or two is acceptable without a coupon. It's not like she doesn't have the money because she does. She will always take the cheapest way out.

Posted by argonian I was hoping my excuse for all occasions would work out, but I guess not. I suppose you could change muff with sausage. I don't know if it is as powerful a statement then. Hmmmm.

Well, I could try your excuse for all occasions with muff but she would never get it.


I could use the sausage excuse but she would say... I'm well could you do it when your finished with the sausage.

Posted by GotPaisley Okay, I am tired of doing favors for people that just expect them. My best friend (non explorer) is one of these people. .... Anyways. Am I wrong??? I'm so pissed!

Nope. While it's great to help people out, don't let them treat you like a door mat. You did a hell of a lot more than what other people would do in your place.

I remember when I worked rotating shits shifts and when I was on midnight, people somehow thought that I was supposed to be their personal servant during the day time when I was trying to get some sleep. I started refusing and when one friend got pissed off at me, I said "Would you like it if I called you around midnight to run errands for me all night even if you have to get up in the morning to go to work?" He still didn't get the message and I finally told him I needed my sleep and good night. Haven't talked with him in 12 years. Good riddance.

This person needs a really good reality check.

Posted by fedge Try this: When they ask for something tell them, "No, sorry. I'm not available to help at this time. Good luck".

Well put but leave out the "sorry". It sounds like you are somehow in the wrong for not being able to help.

Posted by GotPaisley Thanks guys for all the feedback. I always try to do the right thing as I believe in karma! Don't get me wrong! I love my friend to death but it gets old after awhile. I never complained about this before to anyone. I don't mind doing favors here & there but its something every week. I've only asked her for two favors since I met her. 1. I drove Billy's Corvette to work & the battery died. I called to see if she could pick me up & drop me off so I wouldn't be late. I had to be at work by 8:30. When I called her she was like..Ummm It's my late day. I don't start until 10:30. Can't you call Billy's parents. 2. She went to Atlantic city on a bus trip for a day. I kindly asked her to stop by the Lush store to pick up some facial cleanser as I was almost out. I told her I would give her the money ahead of time & even call the store to have it ready so she wouldn't have to wait. She said she that she didn't know if she would get down that way or have time to stop. So, I told her forget it & ended up going to Clinque & buying a different product. It just pisses me off that she is so selfish when it comes to her friends & we all go out of the way for her.

Lovely. Don't bother wasting your time being pissed at her. She is a very selfish person and won't change as long as it serves her interests to be that way. I would recommend closing the favours bank on her. She sounds like she is really overdrawn here.

I loaned my brother $100 for an emergency he had last week. Told him that it was for my car payment and that I had to have it back TODAY. Stopped and saw him this evening and he tells me i'll get it when he gets around to it and that i can more or less put my hand on my ass for that money. So now, my car payment is overdue and I am fuming.

It doesn't pay to do any good deeds anymore.

Posted by Samurai I loaned my brother $100 for an emergency he had last week. Told him that it was for my car payment and that I had to have it back TODAY. Stopped and saw him this evening and he tells me i'll get it when he gets around to it and that i can more or less put my hand on my ass for that money. So now, my car payment is overdue and I am fuming. It doesn't pay to do any good deeds anymore.

Family members are the worst in dealings like this. I've helped my brother on a lot of occasions. The very few times he helped me, he would bitch non stop about it and make me feel like a total asshole for asking for help. I now limit myself to what I will help him with and don't feel guilty at all when I refuse to help.

I've also learned that while it's okay to help people, TAKE CARE OF NUMBER ONE FIRST!!! My bills and other necessities come first and foremost and while I may sympathize with the guy for whatever emergency he may have, I am not going to neglect my bills to bail his or her ass out!

What frosts me the most is that my mom called me in tears about the whole thing and that they 'needed help'... so she basically brokers the deal and then when i bitch about it tonite, she tells me "i don't want to hear about it."

She doesn't want to hear about it but bitches when the finance company fucking calls 6 times (yes 6 fucking times) a day for their fucking money.

ok... now I'm just venting.
sorry.

GotPaisley - That woman is not a friend. She is a user. I know it's hard to do, especially when your such a nice person, but you have to cut her off. Completely. Do not do any favors for her ever again. I also recommend breaking off contact with her for a while. That should send her the message that you are pissed.



Samurai - You need to kick your brothers ass. Seriously.

Posted by Samurai What frosts me the most is that my mom called me in tears about the whole thing and that they 'needed help'... so she basically brokers the deal and then when i bitch about it tonite, she tells me "i don't want to hear about it." She doesn't want to hear about it but bitches when the finance company fucking calls 6 times (yes 6 fucking times) a day for their fucking money. ok... now I'm just venting. sorry.

Oh boy! Now that gets really messy. I'm very grateful my Mom stays out of this. When she starts bitching about the finance company calling, point out to her that if your asshole brother had paid back what he owed, they would have been paid and there would be no phone calls. And then before she can say anything else, tell her "I don't want to hear about it."

As PorkChop stated: Your brother needs his ass kicked really hard! Next time he (your brother) asks for help, tell him to fuck off. And when your mom starts with the tears, ask her to mind her own business.

Stick to your guns.

Posted by PaExplorations Oh Pais? can you come clean up my dog poop?

Ummm... "Look! I would love to help you, but I am up to my eyeballs in muff right now!"


Hmmm.. I don't think it has the same affect.

Ummm...Wait, I meant "Look! I would love to help you, but I am up to my eyeballs in Bologna right now!"