Posted by Shael Bandi, now you know how I feel. I've been floating around since January like this. Sam just wants to be close friends, I promised him I wouldn't say much on here, but I've been floating around aimlessly, lost since after the first of the year. I'm sure anybody that's talked to me probably knows this by now. I'm still pretty broken hearted and I can't move forward, at least not now. I mean, we still go out to dinner and other stuff, but it's not the same. He just doesn't understand how much I've been hurt and why I get upset after seeing him sometimes. I know, most people will say just break it off and cut it off for good, but I'm not that kind of person. All I really can say is he's a selfish son of a bitch that didn't and doesn't really care about my feelings in all of this and I hate him for it, but he's such a big part of me that I can't seem to let go of and I can't stay mad at him for more than ten minutes. I never could. But yeah, I understand how you feel. I'm lonely myself and I miss him. I'm sure you wonder how and why I do, but when someone is such a big part of you for 3 years and one day that just disappears, you're not the same. Shael

I really, really fear that I'm putting Nicole (ex) through the same thing you're going through. I do want to keep in touch with her, because we are great friends, and we live in the same small town, so it's impossible to not see each other. I just feel like such a douchebag every time I see her, because I can tell that it hurts her when she sees me, and I really REALLY have no intentions of ever getting back with her.
Sigh.

Posted by bandi I really, really fear that I'm putting Nicole (ex) through the same thing you're going through. I do want to keep in touch with her, because we are great friends, and we live in the same small town, so it's impossible to not see each other. I just feel like such a douchebag every time I see her, because I can tell that it hurts her when she sees me, and I really REALLY have no intentions of ever getting back with her. Sigh.

Yeah.

I do my best not to tell him. He knows though and I will make him suffer every fucking time I see him.

I just hope she doesn't do the same to you.

Sam basically left me for his car and his four wheeler. It drives me nuts because he's a shallow bastard that didn't have the balls to tell me he didn't want me around and let me hang on for months. Also I never see/saw him unless he needs/needed something. Like his taxes or his checkbook fixed. But, he tells me he'll "always love me", yeah right. He'll always love his fucking car or his fucking bike, forget about me. That's what makes me the most angry about all of it. I put my heart and soul into everything we did and gave him everything I could for almost three years and he shits all over me just like that, because I'm making him miserable and I ask too many questions about where he's going or what he's doing, etc. He feels he doesn't have to be accountable to anyone or have to give anyone the courtesy of a phone call.

I can't change my life overnight, I can't do what someone tells me immediately and I can't grow a dick, so I end up alone and pining over someone that I can't have because he won't get his head out of his ass and realize I don't want what his brother has, I don't need the kids and the picket fence.

That and he listens to the douchebags he works with, who change girlfriends/significant others like fucking socks, nearly daily.

There is nothing in the world you can't fix, unless someone is either psychotic or stupid, Sam doesn't realize that and it pisses me off to no end.

I have issues with dealing with his idiot friends who think I'm a bitch. I may be, but when I'm not listened to, I get defensive and upset, which is what his friends did to me, especially when they asked for advice or what I would do in a financial or legal situation.

Anyway, hope you do better with her.

Shael

I'm learning things here tonight (doin road work on I-85 and bored). I quit looking. Me and my ex had my daughter when I was 21. We had decided it wouldn't work and hey, ur preggo's. Wasn't much to do about it. She had no where to go so we lived together for several years, not together mind u, till she got her life situated. I basically whored around for a while till I decided I was done looking. Figured bacherler for life here. I was in my late 20's and really didn't want a relationship. Then I met a girl at a dead end job I had. She liked cars, jeeps, having fun, and pretty much everything I did. She was a city girl, I was country. Told her I would never be a city boy, just isn't a life I can lead. We hit it off, I had a strict no drug policy (she liked the weed) because of my daughter. When she quit, because of my daughter I knew. We have been together for 3 years and are gettin married in October. So basically what I'm saying is quit looking, its only then that you will find what you want.

Shael i can understand your need to vent but if sam sees this thread he's gonna shit bricks and the mods will erase it anyway. Probably best done via PM.

bandi i really dont see why you would need to feel ashamed for your decision. Campbellford is a small town and like it or not everybody has to get along no matter what the circumstances because there's no avoiding each other. you two obviously have different views on the relationship but it's important that each of you understand the other's position, as long as she understands why you have ended it and why it can't continue as a relationship, you have done all you can do.
it sounds like she's in the bargaining stage right now of the kubler-ross model of grief (google) and once that passes, she will give up and be very depressed. just lay low and wait for her to accept that it's over and you (hopefully) can get back to something resembling friendship. that can take months to years.
she will probably pair-up before you do, and that's probably a good thing as long as you can handle it. she will need that strength to be able to let you go and get on with your own life, single or attached. but if you beat her to it, keep the new girl out of her face, for obvious reasons...

He's not in this board, thankfully and I am sorry for venting like that. He does know how I feel and he knows I'm not happy with how things turned out.

At this point, I really could care less whether he knows I said anything or not. Maybe he'd learn something. That people can only take so much before they explode and I've taken 3 years worth.

Shael

Posted by jeepdave So basically what I'm saying is quit looking, its only then that you will find what you want.

See!?

Posted by Oryx "I've noticed that the less people worry about finding someone to be with, the more likely they are to find who they're looking for."

edit:

Yeah, I know this is easier said than done, but the only way one can break up with one person and hope to have a fufilling relationship with another depends on whether they've truly let go of the first. That's step one. Step two is to learn to be comfortable with yourself and not look for someone just to fill the empty hole that was left after the previous relationship. Subconsciously you won't be as "picky" and end up either with someone who was very similar to the previous, or someone you would never really want to be with at all, but you'd take that over loneliness.

It's worked for me numerous times.

Problem solved. Life is awesome.

Hope it all works out for you.

Let's just hope she doesn't read about that girl you've been head over heels for since the age of 5 haha.

Posted by bandi Problem solved. Life is awesome.

Agreed.

Posted by Skold Let's just hope she doesn't read about that girl you've been head over heels for since the age of 5 haha.

I lol'd. It's a good thing I'm not one of those crazy types.

Posted by bandi Problem solved. Life is awesome.

IF YOU BREAK HER HEART I WILL BREAK YOUR LEGS.

Being single is awesome at times. However at other times, like currently with me, it's way too lonely. Like everything, it has it's ups and downs, and you just need to ride it out till your next relationship.

Watch out for the rebound effect.

Posted by Lexi IF YOU BREAK HER HEART I WILL BREAK YOUR LEGS.

And then I will kill you, I do know where you live. Lexi you can ride along.

Posted by Lexi IF YOU BREAK HER HEART I WILL BREAK YOUR LEGS.

Not gonna happen

Posted by bandi Not gonna happen

Better not, your legs and life depend on it.

Posted by Axle Better not, your legs and life depend on it.

Damnit now I am SO curious as to who the wonderful new person is

Posted by Yield Damnit now I am SO curious as to who the wonderful new person is

Yes Bandi, who is this wonderful new girl?? ;)

Posted by Axle Yes Bandi, who is this wonderful new girl?? ;)

Apparently you both missed it.

Read for content.

Reply #29 on this thread.

Check it.

Posted by Skold Let's just hope she doesn't read about that girl you've been head over heels for since the age of 5 haha.

s'ok. THAT girl doesn't have a volkswagen or understand UE.