I just watched some awful video on youtube from a segment called "That's What He Said" - bad actors discussing women and relationships. Kind of a painful minute of video. Anyway, they discussed "The Chase" and it made me wonder what the fine people of UER think of this practice.

Guys,
Do you value a relationship more if you had to work for it?

Ladiez,
Do you make guys work for it? Say no to going out even if you want to?

etc. etc.


Thoughts?

I just charge fair rates for all the ladies.

I have some guy friends who enjoy the chase.

I think it's a pain in the ass; especially if that chase turns into playing hard to get. I don't want to do all this extra unnecessary BS to get together with a girl if she already likes me but pretends she doesn't and is just wasting time. It's not that I'm lazy, but I see it as a turn-off as well as a potential future sign that she wants to carry my balls around in her purse. It's wrong for her to watch me stumble around trying to win her effection that I've already won but she won't acknowledge it.

If I get a "no" I say FU (not directly to her), move on, and will never attempt to see her again unless she happens to be someone I'll run into at a common social gathering.

I think the chase is stupid. I'm extremely straight forward with telling someone I'm into them or relationships in general. One reason I'll probably never have another relationship with a girl again is because of the "chase". One minute they like you, the next they're acting all retarded. No games plz.

Here's how things went with my current bf:

"Hey, I'm into you but don't want anything serious right now."
"Awesome me either!"
"Cool!"

few weeks later

"You know, I think I'd like to take this a step further"
"Me too!"
"OK!"

Simple.

I am not a fan of the chase.

Guys like a challenge, but they don't like a bumbling, complicated, full-of-girl-drama chase.

At least, most don't?

Posted by Mr. Fuzzy Guys like a challenge, but they don't like a bumbling, complicated, full-of-girl-drama chase. At least, most don't?

It doesn't really seem worth it if a girl is too easy, and I'm not into girls like that. However, I don't want a fake challenge. Thankfully, every woman who I've dated thus far was pretty upfront about their interest once they decided that they were attracted to me.

Oh, and by the way, 'The Chase' isn't that bad.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109402/

Posted by Shawn W. \Oh, and by the way, 'The Chase' isn't that bad. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109402/

That movie was awesome. It has Henry Rollins in it too!

Posted by Oryx No games plz.

Well put!

I think it's retarded. If you like the person, say so. If you don't like them, say so. Don't string people along or fuck with their emotions to try and make yourself look like 'less of a whore' or something - just don't put out right away then? You can be serious about somebody fairly quickly without giving anything up.

In the past I've decided a girl isn't worth perusing just because she wanted to be. I'm terrible with delicate girls, and any girl who needs a chase to feel good about herself is self-selecting.

That said, a short term chase can be fun if it's full of super-witty flirting, especially in those contexts where a relationship wouldn't really work (someone is taken and mono, coworkers, etc).

tl:dr;
There are two different types of chases, don't confuse them:

Mental jousting - fun.
Checklists (You have to buy me flowers and dinner and have three official dates) - not fun.

MEN HATE MIND GAMES

FUCK BITCHES GET MONEY

SMOKE TREES?

Anyway, I dunno, I was persistent w/my wife, it kinda worked out.

I didn't mind it at one time...But mind games that some girls play get very annoying very fast...It just does more damage then good IMO.

I'm with MindHacker; witty, flirty advances can be a great deal of fun, especially when it's too soon or too risky to be serious, forthright, and involved.

On the other hand, nagging, begging proclamations of desire and affection lead me to be skeptical of their authenticity. "This is too good to be true. You must be desperate..."

Just speak up when you've made up your mind! No games! Carrying on the chase for too long can also build up entirely false impressions, which does not make for happy endings...

Games are for people with no real depth. Why would I want to waste my time chasing a girl, and end up on the defensive because I'm unsure if we value the same things. I'm willing to put forth the effort. If someone acts not interested in me, I will take that to mean just that and move on.

Posted by dirt If someone acts not interested in me, I will take that to mean just that and move on.

Same here. I think some do it with the hopes that you will crave what you can't have and you will pursue that much more intently. That can be a delicate line to balance.

Posted by heinrick ...which does not make for happy endings...

Is that some sort of pun?

Posted by Gringo Loco Same here. I think some do it with the hopes that you will crave what you can't have and you will pursue that much more intently. That can be a delicate line to balance.

Agreed. I won't pursue anyone unless I'm reasonably sure that the interest is mutual, e.g. a woman asking you why you didn't kiss her, which happened to me with my second girlfriend before we started dating. I didn't kiss her that time because I didn't know that she might have an interest in something more than friendship, and I wanted to be respectful and keep things from becoming awkward. After she asked me that question, that boundary was removed.

Posted by Neptune I am not a fan of the chase.

I agree.

Fuck the chase.

All I ask for is honesty and the truth.

If you can't do that, or you want me to jump through a bunch of hoops, GTFO.

I make guys work for it.... it weeds out the bad ones. Everytime I was stupid and rushed into it I always got screwed in the end. I generally don't trust anyone though so no matter what, in one way or another they need to prove themselves worthy.