I've gotta jump on the Oph love bandwagon

This user was marked as Full Member on 11/19/2009 7:36 PM by Opheliaism
<3 <3 <3

Edit: Also, to get back to the topic of the thread, as a woman I want to be listened to, understood most of the time (as even I don't understand myself all the time), argued with when I feel like arguing, corrected when I'm wrong (so I can always continue learning) wanted and loved.

My secretary sent me this last week after a conversation about the dating world. It's more of what women are finding and what they don't want but worth reading. I would love to hear what others think of the article. The email came with the following message.

"This is seriously what us women deal with."


http://online.wsj....p_mostpop_read

Posted by piplnr65656 "This is seriously what us women deal with."

I have a lot of problems with this article.

1. People are living a lot longer, and women are holding off on having babies until they're in their mid 30s. Being 23 and still fucking around isn't that bad.

2. I'm married, but I have no children. Does this mean I'm still a "pre-adult"? Or am I a "post-pre-adult" because I've met one of their requirements for being an "adult"? Will I be a seventy year old "pre-adult" because I chose not to fuck up my entire life by introducing a child into it? Or are sociologists going to make up new bullshit buzzwords to call us?

3. There wasn't any input from guys on WHY they have no motivation to get married and have kids and "settle down". Maybe because not settling down is fun as hell. Or, maybe they try to get dates with secretaries, girls who work at Old Navy, or paralegals; and they're blown off because those women are waiting for a doctor or lawyer to sweep them off their feet and take them to the land of mommy-blogging and coupon clipping?

4. The entire article (from the Wall Street Journal, so I shouldn't be surprised), seems to enforce a lifestyle that I won't ever fit into, and neither would a lot of people.

5. Being an adult means one can eat ice cream with kahluha for breakfast, then call out "sick" from work and go to the park. Assigning anything more meaningful than that is doing a disservice to our personal freedoms.

TL;DR: Yay, ice cream!

Posted by piplnr65656 My secretary sent me this last week after a conversation about the dating world. It's more of what women are finding and what they don't want but worth reading. I would love to hear what others think of the article. The email came with the following message. "This is seriously what us women deal with." http://online.wsj....p_mostpop_read

Goes both ways. I'm sure it would read along similar lines with the roles reversed if it were titled "Where Have All the Good Women Gone?" and written by a male.

Posted by SaraBellum 3. There wasn't any input from guys on WHY they have no motivation to get married and have kids and "settle down". Maybe because not settling down is fun as hell. Or, maybe they try to get dates with secretaries, girls who work at Old Navy, or paralegals; and they're blown off because those women are waiting for a doctor or lawyer to sweep them off their feet and take them to the land of mommy-blogging and coupon clipping?

I like your thinking.

that article was tl;rh (read half)
but I thought it was a joke until I saw your replies. IMO the good men are the ones playing video games and quoting star wars/trek and having fun in life.
Maybe people today are realizing that as we live longer, quality is more important as well? And quality means happiness, not necessarily societies view of 'successful'?
the article also didn't state that a much higher percentage of women looking for a sugar daddy who's set in their 20's is probably a high school knock up who has to raise a kid. Not that all teen pregnancies go that way, it's just statistics. (ie - one of my best friends had a kid at 17 and turned out fine :p )

All I want is an urban explorer who is slightly overweight and has facial hair and hopefully likes Boards of Canada. Is that too much to ask?

Posted by SaraBellum TL;DR: Yay, ice cream!

ICE CREAM???

I can haz ice cream?

Posted by Neptune All I want is an urban explorer who is slightly overweight and has facial hair and hopefully likes Boards of Canada. Is that too much to ask?

Yes.

Posted by Neptune All I want is an urban explorer who is slightly overweight and has facial hair and hopefully likes Boards of Canada. Is that too much to ask?

Yay no more shaving!

Posted by SaraBellum I have a lot of problems with this article. TL;DR: Yay, ice cream!

Yay, glad to know. She is always pissed that while being happy and successful I refuse to live my life by what others considers normal. Glad to know its ok to buck the trend.

So in summary their idea of success is a man who goes to school and gets a well paying job. Then finds a wife, settles down to have kids and lives in a house in the suburbs. All by age 27.

Seriously, who wrote this article, Mrs. Cleaver? Wasn't the 50's over half a century ago?

I think basically though the point is there seems to be a lot of slackers out there. I would admit I am to degree. Everyone is.

Like they brought up, it is a labyrinth you have to go through to get a good job. Even then, it's no guarantee that the investment will pay off.

For the time being, I'm happy with my mediocre job and the fun I have with my time off. If you don't like drinking on a 9 story rooftop at night in the city, you're just a square.

I think there are two lifestyles you can boil down to. Raise a family, or play your whole life. Everyone is different and are going to find one more fulfilling than the other. Which makes me think of the ones who mix the both, and end up screwing their kids up.

Wow, that article is annoying.

Women are busting their asses for an education, stability and independence!! And what?!?! They can't find a dude to settle down with and squirt out some babies for?!?!?! FFFFFUUUUUUUUU

no....for fucks sake. Personally I want an education and a good job so I can make a lot of money so I can go fuck around and pay for my vigilante lifestyle without any worry to hinder my fun-having time. But since I am no where near there I will settle for this crap job and take the fun where I can.

I support myself and deal with my own problems without the help of a guy or my parents. I am a fucking adult....unfortunately. And if I could get away with being stoned and playing video games all day, that's what I would fucking do.

And if I could get away with being stoned and playing video games all day, that's what I would fucking do.

I've got a spare couch... are computer games just as good? =)

Posted by Neptune All I want is an urban explorer who is slightly overweight and has facial hair and hopefully likes Boards of Canada. Is that too much to ask?

If you keep thinking like that, young lady, you're going to wind up with an emotionally manipulative dude with an extremely sketchy sexual history who still lives with his parents and gets passive aggressive when you hang out with your friends, all while describing himself as "a nice guy".

Posted by SaraBellum If you keep thinking like that, young lady, you're going to wind up with an emotionally manipulative dude with an extremely sketchy sexual history who still lives with his parents and gets passive aggressive when you hang out with your friends, all while describing himself as "a nice guy".

Hah hah hah hoh ho, nobody really does all that. He'd have an awesome heart, too, y'know.

Posted by Gringo Loco I think there are two lifestyles you can boil down to. Raise a family, or play your whole life. Everyone is different and are going to find one more fulfilling than the other. Which makes me think of the ones who mix the both, and end up screwing their kids up.

It can be done! I play and still raise 2 great kids (though I tend more towards the responsible raising a family role). But its the reason I don't take much risks while exploring, because I can't think of anything more weak and pathetic then leaving 2 children fatherless because I died while climbing on something

You all should be guilt stricken for your happy go lucky lifestyles!!!

Posted by LauraBeth Wow, that article is annoying. Women are busting their asses for an education, stability and independence!! And what?!?! They can't find a dude to settle down with and squirt out some babies for?!?!?! FFFFFUUUUUUUUU no....for fucks sake. Personally I want an education and a good job so I can make a lot of money so I can go fuck around and pay for my vigilante lifestyle without any worry to hinder my fun-having time. But since I am no where near there I will settle for this crap job and take the fun where I can. I support myself and deal with my own problems without the help of a guy or my parents. I am a fucking adult....unfortunately. And if I could get away with being stoned and playing video games all day, that's what I would fucking do.

whats wrong with women wanting to have children? Life can be pretty fullfilling with an Significant other. No ones saying they want you to stifle it and get them a beer and a sandwhich. thats not what having a families about. hahaha, i get it your one of the people who think its trendy to be all hurrr hurr hurr im a female im independent. In this day in age thats a lame thing. you can be a black midget with downs and a felony record and still pound out a living. you have no more disadvantages being a women in the work force than anyone else. having children and a family isn't something that should be looked down upon.

Posted by compaq12986 whats wrong with women wanting to have children? Life can be pretty fullfilling with an Significant other. No ones saying they want you to stifle it and get them a beer and a sandwhich. thats not what having a families about. hahaha, i get it your one of the people who think its trendy to be all hurrr hurr hurr im a female im independent. In this day in age thats a lame thing. you can be a black midget with downs and a felony record and still pound out a living. you have no more disadvantages being a women in the work force than anyone else. having children and a family isn't something that should be looked down upon.

her main point was actually the view of the article, which was (in layman's terms, so even you can understand) that women want a successful, 'set' young man (early 20's) who is ready to settle down and start building a family.
She's not saying having a family is bad. She also never stated that she has any disregard for those women who do choose to be homemakers.

I think what she's trying to get at is that women and men are supposed to be considered equal in all respects nowadays (as you said), and it's making women's progress on the social recognition scale seem trivial and pointless to state we still want the average lifestyle of a woman from 1950.

A lot of women now prioritize finishing school, finding a suitable career, establishing a bonding relationship with their mate, and ensuring they've reached fulfillment in their 'single' lives before moving on and building a family. Exactly the same as these men, which the article states are 'not good' do. It's not that she's being an extremist feminist here as it is the article is paradoxically slandering women who are the mirror image of the men it is about as well as anybody who has the views that this lifestyle and behavior is acceptable.

TL;DR the article is just ridiculous and she was stating so.

Also, regardless of ones relationship status, one can still be an independent female or male and I believe all people should be more independent and less codependent. I personally became so and feel better prepared for my future because of it. So saying independence is trendy clearly states the kind of person you are - I'm going to guess you so dislike the strong female because inside, you are a weak codependent person who would really love nothing more than a mate who feels they NEED you at all times, as you need them, because you are insecure and afraid of abandonment.

I mean, I could be way off the mark, it's not like I have a degree or anything. Maybe you're just stupid and/or like to argue a lot.

Posted by compaq12986 whats wrong with women wanting to have children? Life can be pretty fullfilling with an Significant other. No ones saying they want you to stifle it and get them a beer and a sandwhich. thats not what having a families about. hahaha, i get it your one of the people who think its trendy to be all hurrr hurr hurr im a female im independent. In this day in age thats a lame thing. you can be a black midget with downs and a felony record and still pound out a living. you have no more disadvantages being a women in the work force than anyone else. having children and a family isn't something that should be looked down upon.

http://www.toothpa...k-the-internet.gif

The third little response? That's what I think of whenever you post.