Map of drain system with points of interest marked
Note: The map is not accurate and is drawn from estimates of where features are in relation to above ground

Upstream locked grille.

This locked grille is reported by some as being the entrance to the drain but in fact it is securely locked and totally impossible to get in. Another the City drain exploration group�s web site indicated that the entrance to this drain was way off somewhere else. We were not at all impressed with their directions, they were way off the mark. We figured that either;

1. They could not navigate for shit (not all that impossible, depending on their age).

2. They can�t read maps for shit ( maybe they got north and south mixed up. One oval looks the same as another on a map).

3. That someone other than the Cave Men made the web site and were just bulshitting.

Believe it or not, but we think number 3 is the truth. There is no doubting that the Cave Men exist, we�ve seen their graffiti and tags in drains, - always in red paint. But maybe someone made the web site for them. Maybe someone who had never been to the City. Their original web page mistook the shitty Mawson drain for Secret Squirrel�s. Even their web site at the end of 1999 still had a link to a map showing the entrance to this drain as being where the �X� is. In addition, they rate Gross�s Tomb as being a pretty average drain.

Entrance grille.

The Cave Men were right about one thing, the entrance grille to this drain looks a bit like a �pillbox� machine gun post. You half expect to see hordes of black and white film soldiers come pouring out of the thing. The entrance is quite low, you could comfortably use it as seating for watching a footy match or something on the oval. Our thanks go to whomever bent down a rail on the left side of the entrance to enable people to get in. The entrance is a tight squeeze, no fun for fat people. Soneek also advised us that it produces interesting effects for well endowed girls who want to squeeze in.

From the top it is a long way down. If you are the adventurous type and want to see this first hand you can do this safely and legally by just popping your head through the bars and looking down. However as this web site will show you the better features of the drain you may as well stay in your arm chair and enjoy our tour.

Once we had squeezed into this drain we pondered about how to get down. Kova contemplated broken bones and jumping down. Soneek noticed the ladder that led down the wall beside us. It looks like a scary deal, leaning out to grab the rungs but really it was a lot easier than it looked. The scariest part was sticking our fingers into a gap in the concrete for grip. We hoped there were no spiders in the gap. The manhole above is not movable. We tried lifting it with a crow bar and even a lever and car jack. We climbed down the ladder and started to look around the chamber. There was plenty of graffiti in this part of the drain. We figured at one time the entrance must have been more accessible. Either that or the policy of the local council to wipe out graffiti above ground had driven all of the graff artists down here. None too safe we say.

We climbed in there to that gap up on the left, then leaned over to climb down the ladder. It was easier than looked, but please don�t be tempted to try it yourself.

Graf in the drain

Second grille room and chamber.

Just a minute�s walk from the entrance grille is another room with even more graffiti in it. It was like a multicoloured room. At least fifteen years of graffiti could be seen in the room. There were some nice pieces on the extreme left wall of the drain.

We had fun playing hurdles over the humps in the middle of the chamber. We all got really pissed off because we had forgotten to bring any paint or textas of our own so we were not happy that we could not leave our names.

"Nobody is gonna know we were here." I complained.

" Well they have to know we were here, how else are we supposed to take these pictures?" Soneek in her wisdom asked.

" Oh yeah." I replied. Dow! Oh well, I got my revenge, she slipped over later on.

A bit further down the drain we came to a finely painted room which featured cartoons and security warnings. The cartoon seemed to be of an ancient Egyptian discovering the wonders of drains. The rest you can see in the pictures below.

Downstream from this last chamber the drain reaches one last chamber which smells really really bad and is half full of water. We did not bother to go into it.

More rooms

Back upstream from the entrance chamber we came across a few small cross rooms that were, well interesting. We had seen pictures of the smoke coil room on the web before, and read about it. We had expected it to be bigger than it was but it was only about the size of a small delivery van or minibus. The graffiti in the room though was really cool and colourful, in both meanings of the word.

It really pissed us off that some people have obviously gone to some length to damage the graffiti in the drain after all the trouble people had gone to putting it there in the first place. In this underground place there was a thing of beauty, until some neanderthal decided to wreck it.

Before reaching this DFS room we came across the most bizarre room we have ever seen in a drain. A room dedicated to some dead rock star! Yep, a Kurt Cobain room. There were these posters stuck to the wall and up in the ladder leading to a manhole was a glue gun and spatula. Some one had gone to a lot of trouble to stick the posters to the wall. Strangely there was also a picture of that lovable Ewok, Yoda, from Star Wars.

Up past these two rooms we came to a small round slide which was easy to navigate. The drain is still high enough to walk upright in unless you�re real tall. We wandered along, humming away and expecting something brilliant. We spotted light ahead and presently came to the grille near Belconnen Way, from where the drain gets its� name. The exit was of course locked so we had to trudge back to the way in.

The climb to of the drain was more hairy than the climb in. We climbed to the top of the ladder, leaned out, reached around for that crack in the concrete and pulled ourselves over. Another reason why we encourage you not to explore drains. Now how are you going to explain that one hmm? "Oh yes mr ambulance man it was like this�." This web site contains the best highlights from the drain so there is no need for you to explore it yourself.

Do NOT enter drains. Read this warning!

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