Map of the Teaser drain system.
The entrance of this drain is where the name appears to come from. We were really excited when we first saw it. We thought we had finally found a really huge drain in Urbana. Whoopee! Excitement plus! We ran down to the entrance, over the stone edge of the drainage canal and looked up into the entrance of the drain. There was this big entrance covering the entire width of the drain. We�d never seen a drain cover the entire width of an open canal before. Three pillars each taller than an adult person held up the entrance. Inside it was dark and mysterious. Then we got a bit closer.
Aw crap, the drain entrance led up to seven typical Urbana round concrete pipes. There was some really appropriate graffiti written above one.
For
whatever reason we decided to explore the drains on the left first. There are
three pipes in the left system. We took the one on the right because at the
entrance these drains are real slippery. To get to the round pipes in the main
entrance we had to walk over drain slime and up the middle of the drain under
the concrete bars there.
Once inside the drain we thought we were in for another of those boring repetitive drain systems so common to Urbana. I mean the first chamber we came to could have been from any number of drains, Mitchell, Secret Squirrels, Fireflys, whatever. We walked on, groaning and complaining about how drains are the same in Urbana. We came to the second chamber where we noticed the words "Weasel�s Room" or something like that, and an arrow pointing up the middle drain. We stayed in the right side drain, which just up the way, turned right.
We could hear the sound of a small waterfall ahead, and see light around the corner so we were growing a bit excited. Maybe there was something here after all.
We�re not real sure that our map is accurate, in fact we suspect that it is not. But probably around the Weston Shopping center is this side drain. A single pipe. It separated from the others and came to a little waterfall before continuing on. We couldn�t be stuffed getting our cloths wet to climb the waterfall, so we went back the way we had come. We wanted to see the Weasel�s lair.
The Weasel�s Lair was a few minute�s walk up the drain. We hadn�t expected all that much. But what we saw was really cool. Some person had come way up this drain to do a couple of really good graffiti pieces. Way way cool. The time they must have spent on it and all the trouble to do a piece this far up the drain surprised us.
Because it was humid in the drain, this was where Soneek decided to take up a novel method for keeping cool in drains. She simply removed her t-shirt. Although she promised lots of physical harm to us if we took a photograph we took one anyway. Fun and pain ensued as Soneek fought to capture the camera to delete the photograph. After a few moments though she gave up.
"Keep the picture. I don�t care!" She grumbled. In fact after a while she insisted we take another picture, better posed this time. Ahh yes, team motivation. This is what keeps us exploring Urbana�s drains. Explore Urbana, see semi-clothed babes.
Now, if you think this was bad, a couple of guys and a semi clothed drain babe in a drain, well think again. It got, well more interesting. Soneek decided after a while that it was really hot and that she needed even more ventilation. So she took off her track suit pants and then popped up her bra to well add some interesting air flow over two certain parts of her body.
Can�t say I didn�t take a peek, and even a photo. But after a while you become adjusted to this sort of thing, specially after my not so subtle hints at closer activities were replied to in the negative.
Do you know how hard it is to walk straight down a drain when half the time you�re staring at a girl�s chest! Damn hard. I fell over twice before Soneek took the lead, ensuring at least that I stare ahead.
It was hence an apparent long time till we next came to an interesting chamber.
This room was like very weird. Some one had gone to all the trouble of marching up the drain by about a kilometre to this chamber and then painting the walls white. Yet apart from the word Eel and �Rohan 4 Jenny� there wasn�t any other serious graf here. Perhaps an aspiring artist or one of the weasels will put some graf up there in the future, or maybe we will.
WE continued on up the drain, Kova and I both trying to keep one eye on where we were walking, and one eye on Soneek�s tits. Needless to say, we fell over a bit. I�m sure we could have walked past an Egyptian mummy in the drain and not even noticed it. We did notice the low bit in the drain though. I think that�s where some low waterfall was. Thankfully some one had the foresight to have written on the side of the drain �keep going, gets bigger�. So, we did.
The low bit seemed to go on forever. Let me describe a particularly unpleasant aspect of drain exploring. Bending over as you walk through a drain section not quite high enough to walk upright in causes a great strain on your back. After a few minutes of this it really begins to ache, then hurt, and then really hurt. I defy anyone to do that for half an hour. It is nearly impossible. Even the few minutes it took us to reach the end of the short bit hurt.
At the end of the short bit the two pipes of the drain linked together to form a single pipe, which we followed south.
By this time we were all hot and sweaty and a bit tiered. We had forgotten to bring water so we were thirsty too. We walked on in anticipation of an exit somewhere. Thankfully, it didn�t take long to find one. Up ahead in the distance, we saw a shimmering light. We heard the sound of water falling in the drain. A while later we found a side pipe exiting the drain. Light shone in from a manhole.
This manhole was really cool. It was mounted on a little platform in a park. The gaps under the platform were big enough to allow us to look out around the park. It was perfect, we could see that it was a safe exit. The manhole was really easy to lift too. One person could lift it easy.
Soneek donned her clothes back in the drain while Kova and I lifted the manhole. We sat up above, considering locking her in the drain. She came out, blinking her eyes against the bright blue sky.
The walk back overground to the main entrance of the drain was interesting in itself. There were a few overflow drains under the roadways. In addition, there was a really good rocky outcrop by the Weston shopping centre which we climbed. It was not all that high but it gave a great view over Weston and north towards the River.
The right side branch of Teaser contains 4 pipes. Our choice of pipe was arbitrary. It didn�t really matter which one we chose. As we later found out, each was partially clogged with tree roots. Good way to ensure drain explorers get wet and smelly feet, put trees in the drain.
A bit of the way down this drain there is a sizeable chamber where one of the pipes splits off. This one kind of runs down the center of the two main branches of this drain system. We chose to explore it because we thought maybe it might link up with the other branch. One thing about this drain is that it is full of cob webs. We had to stoop as we walked down the drain.
Sadly we could not explore this entire drain system, and the right branch of this system has not been explored properly by us. We think Fil may have explored all of it.
Warning! Do not explore drains. In large drains systems it is possible to become lost. Your flashlight may not last long enough for a safe exit to be made. When the darkness comes the bogey man will come to get you.
Do NOT enter drains. Read this warning!
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